Holiday without me?

C_Mababejive

Havent read it all...why on earth did you marry this person?

camber_2

Thank you to everyone . I am genuinely reading & taking in all of the responses. I realise as well that you have only my side of the story & that, naturally, I'm going to cast him in the less sympathetic role - for which I feel I should redress at least a little - he's not a bad person. He does do most of the household chores. That does, however, make me feel undervalued. I do sometimes wait for him to be out the way so I can put a load of washing on before him, but then he moans about the way I've done that. In some respects I feel that he is almost making me *too* reliant on him; heck I raised my son, alone, for 18 years, so his playing the *female* role is quite unsettling. That said I alone care for our daughter - he has never even changed a nappy. I do worry that if I leave then he will try to get our baby... I've been reading the thread on here about the man whose partner left with their son. He was told to not give his son back - as he has parental responsibility then it's not considered kidnapping - what if my husband does that? He takes Quetiapine and CANNOT wake up when taken that - when we had a leak I could not rouse him - so he is not going to be safe looking after her alone overnight - he has NEVER even stirred when she's woken up screaming as a newborn - just carried on snoring. He knows how much I love her & I know he would threaten to keep her to hurt me (he kept his son after his first wife left him). Of course I'd let him see her - I actively try to get him to look after her and interact - but that thread has scared me.

grey_lady

'I know he would threaten to keep her to hurt me'

He sounds like such a nice chap doesnt he.

CheeseCat

camber wrote: »

he's not a bad person.

Are you kidding???

You are trying to defend his actions far too much.

hitchins

CheeseCat wrote: »

Are you kidding???

You are trying to defend his actions far too much.

Yep!

He does household chores so that's okay, oh and he let you put pictures up of your son!

What a keeper!!

Don't know about you wanting to jump out the window, I feel like it the more I hear about this! :mad:

ema_o

Camber
Not read the rest of the replies, but from what you have said I think it would be very difficult for your partner to be given parental responsibility for your daughter. If he will not wake up on his medication (and never wakes for her in the night) that would give you a strong case against him.
People can only advise based on the information provided - I think the other thread is a very different situation - not least from the age of the child.
Please don't stay with him in case he tries to keep your baby, staying with someone who treats you as you've mentioned will not do you or her any good in the long term.

Pollycat

Camber, I think your attempts to 'redress' the balance in the spirit of fairness has just cemented in everybody's mind what a jerk your husband is.

Just take a read of what you've written:
He does most of the household chores - but you imply that's to make you feel inferior.
You don't cook anymore (even though you enjoy it and are good at it) because HE picks fault.
He moans about the way you do the washing.
He ALLOWS you to put up photos of your son.

And you're telling us that these are his GOOD points.

I think everybody here thinks it's time for you to wake up and smell the coffee - but you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
Unfortunately, I don't think you're thirsty enough yet, and until you decide you are, all the good advice in the world isn't going to make a pennyworth of difference to your situation.

Emmzi

camber, he isn't going to try and get custody of your child, he sounds like he doesn't even like your child.

Get rid!!!

*Louise*

Holidaying alone is FINE...if that's what both partners agree on.

Booking something then telling your wife (not long after she has given birth) that you're off to lie on a nudist beach for a week is just NOT ON. I am shocked at his audacity and lack of consideration for your feelings.

Incidentally - how can he holiday in the canaries for so little cost? How is he managing to pay for plane tickets from benefits? (Are benefit payments madly high these days and someone hasn't told me?)

camber wrote: »

He keeps saying how me & our baby are all he's got & I do worry that he'd do something silly without us. His son has moved away & he doesn't speak to his parents or sister (not quite sure why, I've never met them), so we are all he has

Not exactly appreciative of that fact, is he....?


'If' you leave - where would you go?

You're too scared to leave him though, aren't you?:(

Caroline_a

*Louise* wrote: »

Incidentally - how can he holiday in the canaries for so little cost? How is he managing to pay for plane tickets from benefits? (Are benefit payments madly high these days and someone hasn't told me?)

That was what I wanted to know.