Holiday without me?

GobbledyGook

Have you sat down and told him exactly how strongly you feel about it? Not in a row or argument, but calmly and plainly explained how you feel about the situation?

If he doesn't listen perhaps write him a letter? Explaining that you want holidays to be a family time and how undervalued you feel when he spends money on a holiday just for him when you and your baby are not invited and do not have the finances or inclination to go alone.

Has he said why he wants to go alone?

shellsuit

He obviously wants his cake...

He's not going away with this other woman is he?

I wouldn't stand for my husband trotting off on holiday for a week in the sun on his own while I'm left at home holding the baby ~ no way!

I too would tell him that if he goes, not to bother coming back.

squirrelchops

I would love it if my OH suggested separate holidays!!!!

But that is only because like GobbledyGook I like to chill and he likes being busy all the time.Hey Gobbledy Gook.......sounds like we are ideal holiday companions...you and I could go away and the chaps could do their own thing!! LOL

Seriously though OP it sounds like your husband is having his cake and eating it. If he wants the sun for his depression or whatever he has, tell him to get a blooming light box!

vaio

ruthber wrote: »

He's completely out of order. I would be suspecting he might be going away with the other woman. (for all you know). He is totaly irresponsible and insensitive to your and baby's needs.

suspecting? I'd say it's a racing certainty

ema_o

I don't think the holidaying apart is the problem - the problem is you are unhappy with the situation. If both times he promised he wouldn't go away without you, but has now booked a third trip he is taking you for a mug. Sorry, but whatever depression he has it doesn't excuse behaving like a selfish git.

Perhaps he thought it would be different as you could come too this time, however if he booked it without you I suspect he knew it would be difficult for you to then join him especially without a passport.

Having said this, I don't know the full story. You can get a passport in a very short time, so if you want to give the holiday a try I would. Regardless if he went there with his previous family, it might be lovely and might be the break you need.

I don't like the begrudging of money for a cot, nor do I like the sound of this woman he keeps doing favours for. My instinct is that you would be better off without this guy, but I know well that things are not often as straightforward as that.

Xx

globetraveller

get seperate bank accounts again. Then sit down and work out your joint costs. Each pay half. then ask yourself if its worth being in a relationship where your partner only cheers up when he has a holiday "on his own" booked.

Charlie1978

I'm stunned.

1. PACK. BAGS.
2. LEAVE

Really couldn't be any clearer i'm afraid.

meritaten

why do I get the feeling that your man has a secret life you know nothing about OP? well, the first clue is that he has 'a mental illness and depression'. you have been completely open about having bipolar so I take this to mean you dont actually KNOW what his mental illness is..............(I do have an idea based on what you have said about him but cannot say on here as one isnt supposed to diagnose and I am not a psychiatrist).
the second clue is that he does things and tells you after the fact - like booking his holiday. unless he did it totally spur of the moment (I dont think you book a holiday in the Canaries on impulse though unless you have megabucks).

on the positive side (I think?) perhaps he isnt having an affair with previous woman but sloping off to holiday with his - as you put it - first family. if it was THEIR favourite holiday destination then they may still be going there.

you may be off your meds, but that doesnt mean that you arent thinking straight. this man is treating you and your baby very shabbily and you know it! I think you are rethinking your commitment to this man - in light of his lack of commitment to you and babs! and you just want reassurance from the MSE ers that others would feel as you do!
I will give you the same advice I would give my daughter, hun. She too is bipolar but she is married to a wonderful man who wouldnt dream of begrudging his child a cot or of going on hols on his own.............Think very carefully about whether you can live the rest of your life with this man - being the one to give give give while he takes.

gratefulforhelp_2

I'm sorry, but I'm with Charlie on this one. You are coping on your own and supporting him? He's not making you happy. What's in it for you?

Well done for breastfeeding the bubba BTW.

Charlie1978

I'm just stunned that any woman of this day and age would be treated like a complete and utter door mat.

If you have no balls hun you can borrow mine (I chopped em off the ex ).

Seriously though... any man who begrudges a cot which is a necessary piece of equipment for a baby would have a serious screw loose even attempting to come to me with any logic. If he wants to go on holibobs... let him. Pack all his stuff and tell him not to bother coming back.

I'm with whoever else said it... he's got another life somewhere else. Happily married couples do not spend 3 separate times away from each other during the first year unless it is work related. This is all play, play, play honey and you ain't invited!

Put out the trash!