My partner has left home with our son

damsidebear

well thats my son away back to his mums, missing him already and counting down the days till Friday lol, we had a good time but it was all over too quickly though. thanks to all for your kind words. Really wanting to get closure on the whole saga.

kelpie35

So happy for you that you were able to have quality time with your wee boy.

You are a strong and dignified person and you will get the strength to cope till next Friday.

Try to keep busy and the time will pass quickly. Try to organise what you are going to do with your wee boy next weekend. I am sure that will help you to get by.

Try to keep your chin up. Will be thinking of you.

Take care x

CH27

I'm so glad you got to spend time together.

damsidebear

Well Friday is nearly here again so I'm looking forward to seeing my son, quick question for you all, at the hearing last week obviously an interim court order was put in place for me to have access to my son at weekends, at the time of agreement with the court i was asked at what time i would be picking my son up at and what time i would drop him off on Sunday, i agreed times and that was that.

Straight after the hearing i then realized what i had done or not for that matter, to refresh some memories i live 40 miles away from my Ex so all in all its a 160 mile round trip and a chunk out my wallet on petrol, i should have pointed this out to the judge too.

I should have agreed to picking my son up and my Ex picking him up on alternative dates!

I did ask her next day but she wasn't for budging, then the following day she agreed to it! and that did happen the first weekend, now because i am disputing the child benefit payments she calls me yesterday to 'have a pop' shall we say and then instructs me to stick to the original agreement that i will do the traveling!

I am going to instruct my lawyer to write to her lawyer requesting a split with the traveling, granted it might not be agreed, now regardless of my oversight, at the next hearing does anyone think the judge will take this into consideration if i ask for the traveling to be split? regardless of the outcome of residency/access? like i say it's not just a 5 minute drive!

daska

It's usually (not always) been considered the absent parent's responsibility to arrange travel. For the moment I would assume that she won't budge. But having said that, it's definitely worth asking, some judges recognise that it's in the child's best interests for travel to be shared. I would suggest you request that she collects, then you're more in control of actually getting the contact, whereas if she doesn't drop him off you're then back to square one.

kelpie35

Hello Damsidebear :hello: been thinking of you and the wee one.

Hope things are good with you and you are still enjoying the weekends with your little boy.

Keep strong and take care x

damsidebear

Another quick update, I since found out my ex has sold her car and would have very limited possibilities to drop my son off or pick him up.

With the present arrangement if she were to half the travel arrangements, she could only possibly carry this out on the Friday via train(no trains or buses on Sundays) thus cutting into the time i have to spend with my son, and forcing me to drop my son off on Sundays all the time.

Prior to this i found out she allowed my son to sit in the front of her car without a booster seat that he does require! I am also guessing she neglected to consider that the passenger side air bag had to be switched off in her car with a child in the front seat.

And i have since arranged a replacement set of glasses for my son as his mother hasn't bothered for the past 6 weeks!

I really want to push for the return of my son come the next hearing in a weeks time, granted it's great getting to see him regularly but it's not enough, he deserves stability and i don't believe he is receiving this with his mother, can anyone think of what else i need to consider or inform my solicitor of, any help would be appreciated.

rpc

damsidebear wrote: »

Prior to this i found out she allowed my son to sit in the front of her car without a booster seat that he does require! I am also guessing she neglected to consider that the passenger side air bag had to be switched off in her car with a child in the front seat.

And i have since arranged a replacement set of glasses for my son as his mother hasn't bothered for the past 6 weeks!

If you can document these, and other incidents, it must help your case. It could turn into he said / she said, but if there is a third party that is prepared to be named then that may help.

Breaking the law and compromising your sons' safety isn't on, perhaps it is just as well she has sold her car. The airbag is a red herring though - for Group 1 and up, you usually have the airbag on and the seat pushed right back. Group 0 and 0+ (rear facing) are illegal to use with an airbag.

I have no real advice, I just hope next week goes well for you. Get all your ducks in a row, stay objective and let her hang herself.

daska

^^what rpc said - if you can document these that will be helpful for your solicitor. Even if it's just a note from the school that his glasses were noticed to be broken on x day. Even just a note in your diary (you are keeping a detailed diary aren't you!?).

Are you getting information from his new school? You may need to push them to send stuff to you independently.

N.B. don't hang around telling your solicitor about things - if there's evidence that needs to go before the judge/sheriff(?) you may not be allowed to submit it on the day.

damsidebear

I do keep a diary thanks, and thanks for all your advice.