Coming to terms with a stillbirth

PurpleD

I am so sorry you are going through this , all i can say is hold your partners hand and share your grief, a grief shared is easier to bear, The pain will lessen with time but it will never go away . As long as you feel the pain your child Felix Samuel will never be forgotten .

motherofstudents

I feel so sorry for you but so inadequate to say anything that might help. Before I was born my mum had a baby girl who needed an operation and at 3 months old went into hospital and sadly died. That was 60 years ago and my mum still talks about her and remembers her birthday, 21st Oct, she is part of our family as Felix is and always will be part of yours. She died on 5th January and 10 years later my brother was born on that date so my mum has a mixture of emotions on that day. She told me that someone met her in the street soon after the baby died and gave her a hug and told her she could not continue to feel as bad as she did at that time because she just couldn't live her life like that, she would not be able to live. Nature has a way of helping you through your grief and any children you will have in the future will not replace Felix but will give you something wonderful to live for. I and many others are thinking about you in your terrible pain, hope it helps to know that.

whisper7832

Hi,

I'm in tears after reading your post. I can't begin to imagine what you must be going through. Sending you so many hugs and bestest wishes.
Sorry I can't say anything to ease the pain.
Thinking of you, your OH and Felix xx

tiamai_d

I want to add that I am very grateful for you posting. All types of infant loss, miscarrage, stillbirth, SIDS are very taboo when they shouldn't be.

You are a Mummy, you will always be a mummy, even if your baby isn't with you, he is in your heart.

I never know what to say, but wan't to say something to acknowledge your little boy, that he exists, that you love him dearly even though you can't hold him. And Felix is a lovely name.

mommame

So so sorry to hear your sad news,I cant even think what it is like for you but I am in tears here just thinking about your little man,god bless him and you and your husband.
Princessleah that song is so beautiful but so sad I cant see a thing through my tears.
Hope you both get through this in one piece.
xx

Bloomin_Freezing2

princessleah_ wrote: »

Nothing I can say is going to take away your pain and for that I am so sorry. The loss of a child is something that no one should have to go through.

Felix Samuel will never be forgotten. He will forever be an angel in your heart and always be your firstborn son.

My stepsister had a son who was stillborn at 32 weeks last September and a song that brought her comfort was "Still" by Gerrit Hofsink, she said it summed up exactly how she was feeling and it was played at the funeral.

My thoughts are with you and your family, take care of yourselves and may baby Felix look down on you from the clouds xxx

Just listened to that, wow, made me cry! Beautiful song though.

Tulip

So So Sorry for your loss,just talk to each other if you need to

*hugs*

Amara

Nothing I'll say easy your pain. I had a miscarriage in April, my baby would be due next Sunday. Big, big hugs. I'm so sorry.

darkblue_2

There is nothing that anyone can say or advise you can be given that will take away the pain. Using friends, family and any other comfort you can, which may include some form of counselling, may help you come to terms with this terrible ordeal.

Like everyone else here, you are in my thoughts. It's a tragic experience that no one should have to go through.

ebaybaby

Im so sorry for your loss of your little baby Felix, its so sad.

I too went throught his, 13 years ago. My baby was stillborn at 30 weeks, after telling my midwife and my GP that I no longer felt movements, I was told it was a "lazy baby", and that "you first time mums do fuss a lot".

I was amazed at the time that there was no other option for me but to deliver the baby naturally, I now understand that it is the only way, the other being a cesarean which would only have added to the trauma, but I wasnt thinking straight at the time.
I remember leaving the hospital holding flowers instead of a baby.

My husband like yours semmed to deal with it very well, though I know now he didnt, he stayed strong for me.

One of the worst things I remember was I obviously had a bump and afterwards people I hadnt seen for a while presumed I'd had the baby. All the explaining was draining and upsetting.

I also became quite obsessed with having another baby, I panicked (un-nessasarily) that I'd had my one chance and I was never going to have another baby. I asked my consultant when it would be safe to try again, Id lost the baby in Sept............by New Years Eve I was pregnant again.

I was totally neurotic for 9 months,thinking the same was going to happen, looking back I was an absoloute nightmare to my family and friends, but it was only to expected.

13 years down the line I am a mum to 3 girls, my angel, and a 14 and 10 year old.

I will never get over our little baby, but it does get easier.

Sending you love and prayers x x x