Coming to terms with a stillbirth

madelaine

So sorry for your loss, take care of yourself. x x

poet123

My last son was born after a last minute intervention which saved his life as he was in exactly the same situation, they fought for him cut the cord from his neck, and very fortunately they won, as it was detected when I went into labour, it could so very easily have gone the other way. My heart goes out to you, I suspect only time will help, I am so very sorry for your loss.

RedwoodBrook

Thank you all.

My partner has been a great source of strength. We have been faced with a situation neither of us ever imagined and I am envious of his ability to cope. I have tried to avoid all contact with the outside world over the past week and am really regretting making my pregnancy public. Friends have started to assume I am now busy with a baby as I have not used facebook for some time and I have numerous well-wishing messages as well as others asking if I have given birth yet.

I am feeling so many emotions its difficult to know which way to turn. I have so many questions I know will never be answered. I know I have to accept that even when I have learned to live with this, it will always be in my life. My son will always have died before he really got a chance to live and I will never get a chance to be his mummy.

Before I left the hospital the day after he was born, one midwife said to me "You are young and healthy, you will get your chance to be a mother". I know she meant well, but the fact I am 21 and healthy brings me no comfort right now. I don't want the opportunity to be just a mother, I want to be a mother to the child I have just lost. I will never have that chance.

Thank you for the link to the support thread on ivillage.

emsywoo123

Redwood there is nothing I can say. I am so desperately sorry xxxxx

poet123

http://www.uk-sands.org/

This is a site dedicated to stillbirth, I hope you find some comfort.

louise3965

You poor woman. I feel so sad for you and just wanted to say that. The words of strangers can be a comfort and those strangers can turn into friends, so keep posting. Much love x

HariboJunkie

RedwoodBrook wrote: »

I will never get a chance to be his mummy.

.

You were his Mummy. Don't deny yourself that. I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. I have never experienced stillbirth or been close to someone who has. There are no right words and time is the only thing that will enable you to live with what has happened. Be very gentle with yourself and take care. xxx

poet123

HJ is right, you were his mummy, you will always be his mummy, if you go on to have 3 more children, you will always be a mother of four. Take care.

jules68

I am so so sorry for your loss.I have just lost my little man but unlike you I was only 18 weeks pregnant.His cord was around his neck too.It is painful and you will go through all the emotions.

Take Care xx and keep talking to people.

elaine373

So sorry for the loss of your son. Some-one i know, had a still birth in july and only knew when she had gone into labour 2 weeks over due.Her baby was a gorgeous little girl weighing 9lbs 4 0z,born sleeping. No-one can make sense of this happening and I wouldnt even begin to patronise you with saying things like time heals etc. It doesnt make sense and this shouldnt happen but as you have tragically found out, it does.Sands is the only support group i can think of,if you havent tried already.Wish i had more comforting words for you.God bless you ,your partner and especially the little angel that was too good for this world.xxx