MSE Parents Club Part 15

redstararnie76

SM - sending hugs. Is it anything you want to rant about?

got-it-spend-it

SugarSpun wrote: »

SNIP


When I start feeling that things are out of my control I get very insistent on planning things in minute detail. I am not pregnant but considering my options - if I were planning more than two children than a VBAC would be in my best interests, hence VBAC for me with the chance that it will fail and I will feel even more like a failure as a babymaker.

:rotfl: MFD

If I tried for a VBAC but was unable to have one and ended up having an EMCS would you consider me a failure as a babymaker? If not (and I presume not) then why consider yourself one? You have a very beautiful, bright, delightful little girl so you are therefore not a babymaking failure- please do not feel like that .

ETA- I know that is simplistic, but it is also true.

SugarSpun

got-it-spend-it wrote: »

If I tried for a VBAC but was unable to have one and ended up having an EMCS would you consider me a failure as a babymaker? If not (and I presume not) then why consider yourself one? You have a very beautiful, bright, delightful little girl so you are therefore not a babymaking failure- please do not feel like that .

ETA- I know that is simplistic, but it is also true.

I wouldn't consider anyone else a failure, just as I wouldn't consider a planned C-section a failure. One of my main faults is my need to be in control, so any loss of control feels like a failure.

For me it's not the C-section itself that was the bit I failed at; it was the mismanagement leading up to it that I failed to control - I knew there should have been a catheter but didn't feel able to speak up, and the absent catheter led to a bladder so swollen that it cut off the blood supply to my placenta. A future C-section would feel like the result of the first, which I still feel was caused by my failure to speak up about something I knew was necessary.

Edit: but I've whinged about this before and don't want to hijack the thread. As you were

searching_me

ss ... you're not a failure .. you and the word failure dont not belong in the same sentence ...

WARNING MAOOOSSIVE RANT ...

i was having a really good day today ... in my driving lesson i did parreall (sorry sp?) parking really well for first time and with the sun blinding me ... gets to working and for once its going good .. even when a dodgy customer (banned by the police from selling stuff) called me racist (HA!!!) but it became the joke of the day ... then at 4pm one of the lads came in to pick something up the asisstant store manager was saying to him "ive got your new 35 hour contract for you to sign" ... i could not F***ing believe it then i asked one of the supervisiors if what i heard was true to make sure i had my facts straight before i got really angry ... he told me yes him and someone (which i knew of the second as she had been waiting for full time since i had been on ML just they took a while to put it through) ... so now all the hours for upping contracts have gone .. which looks as though i cant up mine by 4 hours so if i dont get a new job im screwed out of my WTC ...

im so f***ing sick of my boss .. everyone cant stand this guy he upped on hours and hes been there less then a year .. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... im so angry i could cry if it wasnt for the fact its xmas i think i would of quit .. everyones telling i should talk to him but im f***ing fed up of talking to him if the !!!!!! doesnt listen im just wasting my breathe ... im not the only one theres another one of the lasses im friends with been asking for full time for DONKEYS!!! and was told no with no reason ...........

hes such a !!!!!! (i like that one) .............. i nearly cried at work through anger but i didnt thank god ... i wish someone would set that bald headed, pu**y whipped, !!!!!! of evil useless !!!!!! on fire then throw his ashes in to the sea ...

breathe :mad: :mad: :mad: x

redstararnie76

SM - That's awful, I'm not surprised you're livid, I would be too. I'm sorry I can't do much but send you hugs.

got-it-spend-it

:grouphug:SS. I suppose the difference will be that next time if you choose to try for a VBAC you will be in a better position to pre-empt some of the things that made you feel so out of control last time. Would you consider a doula or similar to help you stay in control?


Hugs for you too SM, but I do think you should speak to your boss. Have you made your wish extra hours known explicitly? I know sometimes people feel they should get extra hours when they are available, but they don't actually say it straight to me so I don't know until it's too late.

searching_me

red thank you ....... glad he wasnt there or i think i would of lost my job and [EMAIL="tw@ted"]tw@ted[/EMAIL] him x

searching_me

gisi i spoken to him and spoken to him ... the first thing i asked when i came back off ML is when you can can you make me full time .. i understand theres wage limits and all that but i know we are under it .. well was til now i think can double check the figures when im in tomorrow .. but he knows ... feels like hes done this on purpose x

Evansangel

((hugs)) SM.

Evening everyone, i feel sick as usual

Lily has been very hyper today, might of been the choc she had this morning

Update on my mum situation for those that want to know:
Stepdad emailed my little sister saying he does miss her but is never coming back to Portsmouth as he hates my mum.
He then emailed my mum saying he thinks she is lazy, and they never talk and have any sort of romance, he's felt this way for months.

She emailed back asking where to send divorce papers and he repliec saying "You have to have everything your way dont you!!"

(which i dont get, he cant choose not to be with her but remain married to her???)

He wont answer any of her calls, only speaks through email.

got-it-spend-it

In that case that is awful SM and you should set fire to him. If I were you I would talk to him, let him know how disappointed you are that full time hours were given to someone else when you had asked for them and what a difficult position this puts you in with WTC.