MSE Parents Club Part 15

eckythump

zaksmum wrote: »

Can I just say...when my own son was that age he was exactly the same - just wanted his dad and not me. I was the one who was always there while daddy worked very long hours and was the "fun" person when he was at home.

Well, my son's nearly 40 now and he's the most kind, loving and protective son I could wish for. From the age of around three he suddenly decided it was me he wanted after all and so I expect the daddy thing was just one of the many phases kids go through.

Please don't despair. It WILL get better.

I totally agree with this although my son is only 4.
I used to get so upset that I did everything for him and yet he would never hug or kiss me without being asked to and yet he would smother hubbie with affection without prompting.
He also used to share things like chocolate with my husband and yet never offer me any.
This all changed when he was about 2 and a half and now Hubbie moans he is a Mummys boy!
Chin up,it will pass.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Don't feel guilty for someone else, Gem. As it is, it's just as likely that if your friend were to finally have her long wanted baby, that she would be in a similar position of feeling bad for not enjoying it at times. Are you supposed to get cross with her if she doesn't enjoy every moment of something in her life that you can't do - like sleeping in or not throwing up for 12 weeks on the trot? Of course not, and it is not fair on her to get angry with you either.

You're doing fine. And whilst I understand you needed to explain that you do play with your LO, you did draw attention to the negative side, not the positive that you do enjoy playing with him, which does suggest to me that you find it easier to pick faults with yourself than look at the things that prove you are a damn good mother.

Perhaps it might help if you try and think each day about the good things, as though you were writing a message to someone like me who has noted the negative things first and taken them away from you?


I'm even more convinced you are doing well now.

(But I still stand by my playgroup statement )

WestonDave

Just to add from the other side of the fence, PND isn't a picnic for husbands - often you don't know what to do so you do the male thing of solving the problems you can, and keeping asking for "advice" so you don't get it wrong. Its a horrible condition which not only robs women of their initial joy of parenthood but also starts to eat away at Dad's confidence as well - often for no obvious reason whatever he does is wrong and that tends to produce cautious nervous parenting. I know it sounds wrong to say this as you feel you are the one needing support but if you can - help him to help you as much as you are able even if its only keeping the communication going.

The good news is that there is likely to be an end to it, and from personal experience I would suggest that kids adapt back to normality very quickly. My eldest was in the habit of asking me for everything - if he woke in the night because of a nightmare he'd shout for me because he'd learned that Mum couldn't/wouldn't get up to go to him - tonight at age 5 he was insisting that I clear off after reading his bedtime story so that Mum could sit in the chair with them while they fell asleep. The younger one had a more normal start so was more connected to Mum and now swings between us as to who is in favour - this week as my OH has been working so I've been looking after them, I was first port of call even though that meant walking all the way round our bed to wake me up as his duvet had fallen off!

You will see better days, you can have a normal relationship with your son, he doesn't hate you (although he will at times say that if you don't let him have what he wants - and then come running two seconds later when he bumps his knee!), and importantly your second experience will not necessarily mirror your first.

ladybirdintheuk

No decluttering here. I have washed up and put some toys away though. That counts doesn't it?!

3onitsway

redmel1621 wrote: »

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Have I missed something?

MEL. I thought I'd mentioned it, but maybe I only mentioned it on facebook! We were offered a house move just before Christmas, still a 3 bed, but bigger bedrooms and an extra living room downstairs. Its in E______ village, five minutes from where we are now, but 5 minutes closer to you.

We haven't heard anything since mind with it being the holidays, but hoping to get the keys for a nosey this week.

3onitsway

I have taken the tree and decs down - it looks do much tidyer.

And while I was up in the loft I filled a black bin bag with clothes to be disposed off. I'm sure I could fill another one if I go back up tomorrow.

redmel1621

3onitsway wrote: »

MEL. I thought I'd mentioned it, but maybe I only mentioned it on facebook! We were offered a house move just before Christmas, still a 3 bed, but bigger bedrooms and an extra living room downstairs. Its in E______ village, five minutes from where we are now, but 5 minutes closer to you.

We haven't heard anything since mind with it being the holidays, but hoping to get the keys for a nosey this week.

Oh wow fantastic....
It is busy, busy for you this year then. New house, Marriage...Hmmm, what comes next;)

MadDogWoman_2

I've been decluttering and reorganising too

I bought Katie this for her books and shoes which meant a bit of furniture rejigging in the living room. I've also been through my wardrobe and cleared out the clothes I don't and won't wear again and sent them to the charity shop.

Katie is loving the bookshelf as she can get at all her books instead of just a few favourites so I have spent the last 2 days being bombarded with lots of requests of "read this mummy?"

It has freed up some floor space now that we don't have 3 boxes of books.

3onitsway

redmel1621 wrote: »

Oh wow fantastic....
It is busy, busy for you this year then. New house, Marriage...Hmmm, what comes next;)

Not chuffing likely Mel!

Two cousins have announced they're expecting over Christmas, first one is due July, the second August. Mum then told me that things have to come in threes, and she dreamt I was the third.

I told her unless the Angel Gabriel is paying me a visit soon to tell me of an arrival, it's not likely! :rotfl:

workinmummy

I have decluttered myself this week. Our wardrobe, Joe's and Alex's. Really need to go to the tip and charity shop.

Both boys were in bed at 6pm tonight, because they were worn out and doing my head in. So OH and I finally got round to watching Avatar, now watching Benidorm again in bed.

Last day off tomorrow, i'm bank in work Monday. How did it go so fast?