Nice new house, missus wants to live with parents, baby on way. Advice

gingin_2

There is definitely no other reason why girlfriend wold want to live there? No skeletons in the closet, or sore feelings over the house?

If not, it sounds like you are stuck. You can't force her to live there but as Lynz says, humour her a little and maybe she might change her mind. I think the parents are selfish for indulging her. Are you deeply in love and do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with her ( and vice versa)? If you are I'd probably say go with her, if not, keep the house.

I can remember being young, pregnant, confused, hormonal, stubbourn, emotional, etc,etc.

Plans_all_plans

Does she want to get married? I only ask because I wouldn't have moved into a 'home of our own' with my boyfriend if we weren't married. We too were in a similar situation, only I was refusing to move out of his parents home and into our own house without being married and we had a child together. BTW, his parents were happy with us living there!

Another thing to consider is maybe she feels that as a new mum her parents help will be invaluable in the first few months, particularly if you work long hours.

Also, I dont think you're being unreasonable, as I can totally see your point of view. BUT, I can also see why she might want to live with her parents too.

ema_o

Just my thoughts (on why she might be thinking like this).

Us Pg ladies can be quite irrational, but there must be some reason why she is saying this. Do her parents live far away, would she feel isolated from them in the cottage when she is on maternity leave / with a new baby?

Have you lived together before? Maybe she is worried about how you will get on especially with the added pressure of a newborn, and maybe she thinks her parents will take off some of the pressure and make things easier.

When you say you have spent all weekend / every evening doing the house up it doesn't sound like you and GF have had much time together. She might feel resentful of the house as it has taken up so much of your time, at a time when she really needs your support.

My OH is frantic to get our whole house done up, and would work on it all the hours if he could, but I have to convince him that spending time togeher is more important than everything being 100% perfect before our baby arrives (due April). We will get the major stuff finished, but anything that can wait a coupe of years will be waiting.

The two of you need to talk through things and see if there is a way around them. If you can afford to it might be an idea to go away somewhere (even just for one night) so you are on neutral ground, this would also be good for having a chance to spend time together.

snugglepet20

Where is this house? Is it close to your GF's friends and family, does she have a car? Maybe she is worried it is not in an area she knows and doesn't want to be isolated. Maybe she is just worried about having a baby and wants her Mum there for advice plus late pregnancy is a crazy time emotionally. Maybe she is one of those people who lives with their mother until they drop dead, there are plenty of them although it is usually blokes. I would hang tight until after the baby is born as her feelings may change.

pinkshoes

Apologies if this comes out a bit blunt, but I'm 37 weeks pregnant...

Your girlfriend is being a selfish cow! Why on earth would she want you to move in with her parents when the two of you can share your place which you've worked darn hard to make habitable???

No matter how well you get on with her parents, living with them along with the baby isn't the slightest bit of an attractive option. It's ludicrous, and would be a last resort option if the two of you were homeless!

Are you sure your g/f doesn't have an ulterior motive in all this? Is this her mum's first grandchild by any chance, and her mum is encouraging her to stay at home?

I currently live in my OH's house, and my compromise was making it more girly and to my taste i.e. some new furniture, pictures on the walls etc... could she not agree to something along those lines?

Raggs_2

She's uncomfortable living in a house she feels is yours (her partner, father to her child etc), and yet is expecting you to live in a house owned by, and still occupied by her parents...

Whilst buying a house together could solve all these issues, I still don't understand why she'd be so against living in your cottage for a while first, certainly over the prospect of living with parents.

She doesn't seem to realise that whilst your cottage may not feel like home to her right now (it wouldn't take long to), you will never feel at home living at her parents (whilst she most certainly will).

pipsta

Ill try answer all your questions WOW! Thank you.

Girlfriend is 22, just finished Law degree.

She has a car, I have a car.

Parents live 20 mins drive away.

We are very happy together, love each other very much. (5 years together)

Pregnancy unplanned but over the moon about it.

As for being busy with house constantly she only finished uni in June so she has been away most of time in Leicester 200 miles away.
I have asked her for her input on house, like you say to try get her to feel as if it is part hers ( offered to put name on deeds also) but it seems the more i ask her for her opinion the more she digs her heels in. I think is just helps her add more reasons for me to sell it

Im sure she has no issues with my suitability as a father, i have nephews and neices which i love to bits and she can see that, as well as hers.

I tried to refer to the house as ours but she resents this and keeps implying it is mine.

The biggest issue i think she has is because i went to view the house on my own ( she was away at Uni at time, i got it for a steal of a price so had to jump on it) £25k less than what it was worth. At the time it was investment but obviously things have changed somewhat.

Am I still being unreasonable?

lynzpower

Is she working in Leicester? Is that where she wants to live?

mountainofdebt

Has her mum got a buyer lined up ?

jenhug

her attiude to the house is immature, sorry.