Broken down and very scared

honeybear68

little_miss_T wrote: »

i will get the deposit back because it was my mam who paid it for us.. and the admin fee. she said that i can keep it if i need it. so thats a bonus.

my question is, there will still be outstanding bill on EDF for gas and electricity.. how do i pay this?

Give them a call or letter explaining your now circumstances and see what your options are, you may be able to come to an agreement.:)

SUESMITH_2

just read this and nothing to add except you are amazing, can't believe how well you've done.

you're well rid of him, what a nasty piece of work

kaz0705

Hi LMT,

Just read through it all and wanted to say well done for being so strong so far. It's a horrible situation to be in and confusing when there are so many emotions involved, not least because of your ectopic pregnancy. I'm probably not really worldly-wise enough to really give advice although, from memory you're relatively young? Well, I can confirm that time does heal. I bought a flat with my first boyfriend of 5 years and lo, by the second night I was sleeping in the spare room and a few months later finding out he was having an affair (actually, more like a fling). That was all pretty crap and then my next 3 long term boyfriends also all cheated on me.

However, the one piece of [emotional] advice I'd give is that do not harbour bad feelings. I very much took the view that each of them were going to have lost out in the long run and my life was going to be better for them not being in it. And I was absolutely right. So, I know it's difficult but do try to remember than in a year's time or so you'll think 'what did I ever see in him?!'.

One more comment, re:your brother and his friend. Does your brother, by now, now you're getting a divorce? If so, you can ask for his friend's number simple to get advice on that, without going into specific details.

If he doesn't know, maybe, on a day when you're feeling positive and strong, you could tell him, being as matter-of-fact as possible: "yes, we're divorcing, it's not ideal and I'm sad that the marriage is ending but I do think it's for the best"... Again, missing out what a total p***k he's being... Because unless you're family's not very close (which is not the impression you give), he's going to find out one way or another so it's best you attempt damage limitation now!

Anyway, that's my two pence... Another friday night in, saving money for my debts and listening to my neighbours row :-)

xxx

little_miss_T

Hi guys.

Well I'm starting to feel a bit better.. H has accepted that he cannot give me any of his debt and that he was just sayin this to scare me, things are a little bit more pleasant between us.. Now I have another problem and I hope someone can point me in the right direction of help.

I returned to work after being off sick for 6 weeks following my hospitalization.. This is the amount if time that the consultant put on my sick note that I needed to be off to recover. When I got back I have been placed on a stage 2 for sickness, which is like a final written warning I guess because company policy is that you are only allowed 2 weeks to recover from anything like this, miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy all come under the same umbrella in their eyes (eventhough I couldn't walk properly for 4 weeks and was in total agony having been cut open just about from !!!! to elbow)

I want to appeal this, and luckily about 2 weeks before I went sick I joined the union. Now my problem is I need to wrote a letter of appeal but I don't know where to start. My union said that I have very solid grounds to appeal and if the appeal is not successful, they will get my employer for sexual or disability discrimination.

Is there anywhere I can get a template from so I know where to start with this letter. It needs to be handed in on 2nd feb so I don't have much time

xx

katsu

LMT,

Ask the union for help with the letter - you are paying membership fees and they have reps so ask if a rep can help.

Write the basic facts out - what happened to you, what the consultant said and why you were off so long. That will give you a basis for the content of your letter.

kaz0705

Could this be a good time to get some free advice from your brother's friend? Can dress it up as advice about work (actually, the truth!) and also squeeze in some questions about the divorce?

It doesn't sound like they're doing the right thing- sure they won't have a leg to stand on but try and get half hours free advice from any solicitor you can (know lots do it for divorce- don't know about other stuff but worth a try)

Well done for getting on so well and, for fear of sounding like an over protective relative, don't get too comfortable with the current truce with ex; his previous actions do not suggest that he's a rational good guy type.... Might be cynical but generally true!

x

kaz0705

Ignore the above. One post and its about a debt management company?

maganan

little_miss_T wrote: »

Hi guys.

Well I'm starting to feel a bit better.. H has accepted that he cannot give me any of his debt and that he was just sayin this to scare me, things are a little bit more pleasant between us.. Now I have another problem and I hope someone can point me in the right direction of help.

I returned to work after being off sick for 6 weeks following my hospitalization.. This is the amount if time that the consultant put on my sick note that I needed to be off to recover. When I got back I have been placed on a stage 2 for sickness, which is like a final written warning I guess because company policy is that you are only allowed 2 weeks to recover from anything like this, miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy all come under the same umbrella in their eyes (eventhough I couldn't walk properly for 4 weeks and was in total agony having been cut open just about from !!!! to elbow)

I want to appeal this, and luckily about 2 weeks before I went sick I joined the union. Now my problem is I need to wrote a letter of appeal but I don't know where to start. My union said that I have very solid grounds to appeal and if the appeal is not successful, they will get my employer for sexual or disability discrimination.

Is there anywhere I can get a template from so I know where to start with this letter. It needs to be handed in on 2nd feb so I don't have much time

xx

Separate from mwork prob but try CCCS for debt management plan have been v helpful to me and many others on here, thinking of you.............................once read a quote "the toughed steel goes through the toughest fire" i try and remember this (dont always manage it but i do try!) x

tealady

Hi Little Miss
When you write your letter attach a copy of what the consultant said, after all he is the expert in your health. Companies just have to go through the hoops so that they are seen to be fair, however I would make sure that if you are called to a meeting that you take a union rep with you and insist on writing things down what is said as they are said in the meeting.
Stay strong and think of Hawaii.

dollybeads

Hey LMT

Re your sick note from your consultant, this is authorised sickness leave by a medical professional, if you have had abdominal surgery (for whatever reason) the usual time for recovery would be no less than, and often more than 6 weeks (think of caesarians, hsyterectomies etc).

Does you company have the use of an occupational health service? If so I would self refer to them, they would usually have a doctor who is specifically qualified in occupational health, and they are usually overly cautious in signing people off and supporting what your consultant has suggested. Failing this you can contact ACAS http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1461 who will be able to advise you, and of course the support from your union will be invaluable.

Best wishes to you, and seriously consider having a representative attend any meeting with you for support.

Dolly x