Broken down and very scared

little_miss_T

i have spoken to the EA and they advised that i can either pay to get the carpet cleaned myself, or they will get it done and just take it out of the bond, which will be better for me as i cant be bothered to look for a carpet cleaner.

so all is not as bad as i thought.

pupsicola

I'm so sorry to hear that you are now dealing with an awful EA on top of everything else you have been through. There are some right nasty ones out there and they have tried to pull this trick with me in the past.

As someone mentioned earlier it does all depend on if you signed an inventory and whether your deposit was protected. Do you still have any of that paperwork?

They are taking the mick regardless, it doesn't cost the value of your deposit to clean carpets and remove a mark from a wall.

ailsajayne29

Hi, I've just read your thread and I'm so impressed by how strong you have been in dealing with all of this, I hope you get better soon (from being ill and sorting things out), never fails to amaze me how callous some blokes can be (been there myself, but not as extreme)
With your flat and the deposit... how long had you been in there? and was it newly decorated before you moved in? It might be worth sending them a letter saying its not been redecorated for however long, yes there may be marks but if i pay half of the carpet cleaning thing will you give me rest back seeing as it would need to have been done anyway? I moved out of a shared house a couple of years ago and they tried to make me pay them £300 to repaint it.... until I pointed out it hadnt been redecorated for three years and they were working their way through the house as and when people left, repainting, so I felt making me pay was very unfair! it actually worked! (never trust a landlord who doesnt require a deposit!) It might be worth a shot?

Also if you have been having health problems, make sure if you are dealing with debts that you detail time in hospital and out of work, if nothing else it will make them look really mean if they ever take further action!

and once your feeling better, get yourself out with the girls from work, having a bit of fun / slating the ex over some wine might help :-)

ailsajayne29

Oh and I cannot believe how restrained you have been about not exacting revenge! I'd have trashed his car, taken any big blokes I could find round to ''ask'' for my stuff back, spammed his email with junk and as many other mean things I could think of! :-)

little_miss_T

hi guys.. im sorry i havent updated for a while.. hope you all had a wonderful christams and a cracking new year...

now for the not so pleasant bit.. so its been 4 months since H left me. now he has started getting really nasty with me and i need to know where i stand.

he text me this morning and said that he is going to divorce me and when he does all of our debts will be put into a pot and split equally... this will swallow me whole if it has to happen. he has massive amounts of debt, and there is no way i could afford to pay half of them.. he earns almost double the amount i do, and i just cannot afford this to happen..

i have been advised to see a solicitor but this is something else i just cannot afford.. i have just gone back to work after being off on the sick for almost 2 months, due to the reason i was rushed into hospital, so it is going to be a while before my wages are back to normal again.

i just hope someone will be able to tell me what i do, because im so so scared..

RAS

little_miss_T wrote: »

now for the not so pleasant bit.. so its been 4 months since H left me. now he has started getting really nasty with me and i need to know where i stand.

he text me this morning and said that he is going to divorce me and when he does all of our debts will be put into a pot and split equally... this will swallow me whole if it has to happen. he has massive amounts of debt, and there is no way i could afford to pay half of them.. he earns almost double the amount i do, and i just cannot afford this to happen..

Hi

How long were you married?

And how much debt (very roughly) is solely in his name? How much is in your name and how much is in joint names?

And then, of the debt in his name only, how much did he have when you got married?

ecoelle

Sending you lots of hugs, i subscribed to your thread and was wondering where you had got to! I think you are entitled to a free half hour with a solicitor. I would say speak to the citizens advice bureau first, then, see the solicitor once you have a few bits of advice under your belt. There's lots of free advice available if you know what your looking for.

I think you are doing really well and you don't want to let him get under your skin.

little_miss_T

Hi

How long were you married? 3 years and 9 months

And how much debt (very roughly) is solely in his name?about £25,000
How much is in your name i have about £8000 and how much is in joint names? no debt in joint names
And then, of the debt in his name only, how much did he have when you got married? about £20,000

i cant be sure about the amounts.. but i do know that throughout the whole marriage my wages have contributed to paying off his debts.

im really thinking about just running away from everything.. im havin to deal with the break down of my marriage, the reason i was in hospital was because i suffered from an ectopic pregnancy and it almost killed me, so im dealing with that which is very hard, im adjusting to going back to work, and it is all just too much for me.. im trying to stay strong, but i just want to hide from it all.

wornoutmumoftwo

Sorry, couldn't read and run, and not been in your situation to offer advice but I dont think personal debts can be split. I think he'll be responsible for his and you for yours.

Keep your chin up. You are a very strong person to be able to deal with this at such a young age.

RAS

Ok, he is in lying little gitsville.

The basic rule is that you are both responsible for your own debts. Since there are no joint debts, they are not an issue, thank heavens.

The only exceptions are "debts of the marriage", which would be if he had taken out a big loan in his name to do up your jointly owned house for example. And getting them split those in half requires a fair bit of legal work.

little_miss_T wrote: »

Hi

How long were you married? 3 years and 9 months - this is not a short marriage (less than two years).

And how much debt (very roughly) is solely in his name?about £25,000
How much is in your name i have about £8000 - how much did you have before you married?

and how much is in joint names? no debt in joint names
And then, of the debt in his name only, how much did he have when you got married? about £20,000 - so evidently, he did not acquire much of this debt during the marriage, so it cannot be "debts of the marriage"

i cant be sure about the amounts.. but i do know that throughout the whole marriage my wages have contributed to paying off his debts.

Well is you can show that, you can counter with a claim for him to repay the money you paid towards his debts. Not likely to get far, any more than he is likely to be able to saddle you with half his debts.

This man is a bully, and you are going to need to stand up to him.

Get yourself a new phone or SIM card and stop him texting you.