my gf is totally unrealistic! what do i do?

sooz

PasturesNew wrote: »

Ditch her, give me a shout.

Do you want her, him or the dog?

Errata

Of course, I am not for a second suggesting that your gf is suffering from a Cluster B Personality Disorder, or any disorder

So why mention it ? A bit over the top.

tawse57

Errata wrote: »

So why mention it ? A bit over the top.

Yes, hence why I removed that sentence as I was not suggesting it so it was pointless bringing it up.

hbklea

thanks for all your replies, and i'm glad you all dont think its me. i've tried sitting down and working out her finances with her, and she agrees that the £30pm phone and gym membership each are too much. but she's got 1 yr left on the phone. i've cut the gas and elec bill by a 1/4 pa by changing what company she was with. and as she cant control her spending the 3 monthly bill never worked. however this month i have just had to pay it as she says she couldn't afford it. i feel i'm banging my head against a brick wall.
she took out a 4k loan 2 yrs ago which in total will cost her 6k. she says she can afford it, but all that happens is i pay more, more and more. i take way 1200pm, compared to her 900pm.
i thought her parents would understand about stepping up the ladder, as it was only 5 yrs ago they moved into their ideal property. she's told them she was out of debt, so i may have to go round and speak to them.
i want the house, but she doesn't. i can afford the house by myself so i am in 2 minds whether to buy it myself. i dont want to do this, but i'm not prepared to pay rent for the nxt 10 yrs.
thank you for all your responses.

tawse57

hbklea wrote: »

thanks for all your replies, and i'm glad you all dont think its me. i've tried sitting down and working out her finances with her, and she agrees that the £30pm phone and gym membership each are too much. but she's got 1 yr left on the phone. i've cut the gas and elec bill by a 1/4 pa by changing what company she was with. and as she cant control her spending the 3 monthly bill never worked. however this month i have just had to pay it as she says she couldn't afford it. i feel i'm banging my head against a brick wall.
she took out a 4k loan 2 yrs ago which in total will cost her 6k. she says she can afford it, but all that happens is i pay more, more and more. i take way 1200pm, compared to her 900pm.
i thought her parents would understand about stepping up the ladder, as it was only 5 yrs ago they moved into their ideal property. she's told them she was out of debt, so i may have to go round and speak to them.
i want the house, but she doesn't. i can afford the house by myself so i am in 2 minds whether to buy it myself. i dont want to do this, but i'm not prepared to pay rent for the nxt 10 yrs.
thank you for all your responses.

You sound like a really decent, good bloke and you should be patted on the back for trying your best.

It sounds like you have some major life decisions to make not just about the house but about your relationship as well. It is a tough one.

Can you afford the house by yourself if interest rates rise sharply in the coming years?

What about something unforeseen such as illness or an unexpected bill for the house? Just things to be thinking about.

jw2003

Buy it yourself if you can, if she wants you she'll go with you

Radsteral

find another girlfriend i know its recesion but thats only for the economy not for girls;?)

BitterAndTwisted

If you do buy the house and move in together you should ensure that you don't accept a penny from her which could be construed as making a contribution towards the mortgage payments or she'll have a claim on it should you break up some time down the road.

sooz

If you like the house, & you can afford it, then buy it for yourself.

Tell her you are thinking about getting a lodger to help pay the bills (properly ), & she can move back with her parents if she's unable to make a proper contribution.

tawse57

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

If you do buy the house and move in together you should ensure that you don't accept a penny from her which could be construed as making a contribution towards the mortgage payments or she'll have a claim on it should you break up some time down the road.

Didn't Labour change the law on co-habiting couples in the past year whereas a woman who now shares a home with a man for several years has the exact same claims on the property as if she was married to him?

I seem to recall Harriet Harman talking about this and I thought they had brought it in? Anyone know?