Macgirl's "I Can Do Anything....If I Put My Mind to it" Diary

Karmacat

I love the sound of her, macgirl! I really do! But I can see that as her mum, you have to soften the edges a bit, so to speak, so that her own individuality doesn't end up isolating her .... (um, I think I'm speaking about my own childhood there...). She sounds so strong, but at the same time, that retching is showing how she's so vulnerable, just like any little child.... you sound like you're really confident about knowing where to go - I'm up on the theory, but not the practice, not at all. I'm full of admiration for you!

Keeping_Motivated

Mac I think you are right on how you are going to handle it as you know her best.

Sometimes a child like your DD needs to think they have a level of control and choice but they also need to know there are consequences to bad choices.

Have a read of this it might put it into perspective http://www.abcfeelings.com/kidsandchoices.html

gilligansyle

macgirl wrote: »

She absolutely likes her own way and if she doesn't want to do something she refuses POINT BLANK. They are Taureans and are both like bulls!!! So, I guess in a school environment, where she can't scream her head off, it might be a way of her having some control and "say".

This evening, she was very happy and relaxed and was telling me that the other children can eat lunch, while she goes out to play, then she'll eat while they play out! I explained that at school everyone eats together, then plays together.

She paused and said "No.... (as if you say "You didn't hear me right") I've just told you what will happen" :wall:
You see what I'm up against?!.......she would be a great politician....

:rotfl::rotfl:

Shouldn't laugh, but this brought back memories. My DS is a Taurus too, wonder if thats significant. He had gone to a wonderful nursery for years and couldn't quite *get* the discipline of school. In reception they didn't change for PE, just took off their shorts and tops but he wouldn't just wear his underwear. Just stood there with his arms folded and refused, basically saying 'make me, then, I dare you'. When the message eventually filtered to me, weeks later, I tried to explain how school worked - his reply "but I get to read books instead" as if that explained everything.

And when he discovered in the juniors that the punishment for misbehaving at lunch time was to be sent home for lunch - the one thing he'd wanted for years - my powers of diplomacy failed me; not with him, with the school.

macgirl

Aw, thanks KC! :kisses3:

DH is much more eloquent than I and he's just come back from a run - therefore loads of thinking time. He really recognises that her personality is a bit too big for her sometimes and that when she was younger, couldn't express herself so well, so became aggressive. Ironically, her elder sister is wise beyond her years and talked really early. (DH had her saying "Ruud Van Nistelroy before she was 2! He calls her "Professor" and Little DD - "Ozzy!" :rotfl: ) He said, she's always playing catch up but will always be younger, so never quite gets there, so gets frustrated.
He said, she is confident to play with older kids and get stuck in, but when something goes wrong, she cries when they no longer do, so she doesn't quite fit in. That is life, I said, but she is more sensitive than that...*sigh* I am weary with it all and have just realised I haven't eaten and need to look over some work - ooops!

Thanks for taking the time to read / give advice. I promise to catch up on some diaries tomorrow night xx

I have to say, I am learning a lot about her and myself through all this.

hypno06

I am not surprised you are weary - take care of you xx

Karmacat

macgirl wrote: »

Aw, thanks KC! :kisses3:

You're very welcome!

DH is much more eloquent than I and he's just come back from a run - therefore loads of thinking time. He really recognises that her personality is a bit too big for her sometimes and that when she was younger, couldn't express herself so well, so became aggressive. Ironically, her elder sister is wise beyond her years and talked really early. (DH had her saying "Ruud Van Nistelroy before she was 2! He calls her "Professor" and Little DD - "Ozzy!" :rotfl: ) He said, she's always playing catch up but will always be younger, so never quite gets there, so gets frustrated.
DH said, she is confident to play with older kids and get stuck in, but when something goes wrong, she cries when they no longer do, so she doesn't quite fit in. That is life, I said, but she is more sensitive than that...*sigh* I am weary with it all and have just realised I haven't eaten and need to look over some work - ooops!

Thanks for taking the time to read / give advice. I promise to catch up on some diaries tomorrow night xx

I have to say, I am learning a lot about her and myself through all this.

Between the two of you, she'll do fine! Look at the wisdom of what I highlighted! But you need to look after your blood sugar level :kisses3:

macgirl

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Mac I think you are right on how you are going to handle it as you know her best.

Sometimes a child like your DD needs to think they have a level of control and choice but they also need to know there are consequences to bad choices.

Have a read of this it might put it into perspective http://www.abcfeelings.com/kidsandchoices.html

Thank you KM. That is what I had in mind. She would never be what she perceives as "naughty", as she knows what the consequences are. So I want to treat this in the same way. I was saying to the teachers, that if she was hitting or kicking everyday, we wouldn't stand for it and this needs to have the same zero tolerance, so thanks :A

gilligansyle wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl:

Shouldn't laugh, but this brought back memories. My DS is a Taurus too, wonder if thats significant. He had gone to a wonderful nursery for years and couldn't quite *get* the discipline of school. In reception they didn't change for PE, just took off their shorts and tops but he wouldn't just wear his underwear. Just stood there with his arms folded and refused, basically saying 'make me, then, I dare you'. When the message eventually filtered to me, weeks later, I tried to explain how school worked - his reply "but I get to read books instead" as if that explained everything.

And when he discovered in the juniors that the punishment for misbehaving at lunch time was to be sent home for lunch - the one thing he'd wanted for years - my powers of diplomacy failed me; not with him, with the school.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Oh it is SUCH a relief that I'm not alone!!! That is her in a nutshell and that's why my friend gets her, she thinks it's perfectly reasonable to act like she does. I give in. She rules the roost!

macgirl

What a lot of lovely friends I have on here :A:A:A:A

Thank you, thank you all so much xxxxxx (off to eat some WW soup, have gone over my cals due to emergency chocolate consumption :D:D night all x)

hypno06

erm, emergency chocolate has no calories......

sleep well x

macgirl

Sadly it does I had a Fry's chocolate cream - Mmmmm I love. And 6 mini Terry's Chocolate orange segments :o:o

I have lost 4lbs this month though, so will do some extra runs this week to compensate