Macgirl's "I Can Do Anything....If I Put My Mind to it" Diary

se999

macgirl wrote: »

Think I'll have to buy some contrast fabric and add it on the bottom to make them full length. It's all money, but it's a cheaper fix for now....

Not sure what style you're going for, but have you thought of an horizontal strip either in the middle or just below. It can look more as though it was designed to be like that rather than a bit added to lengthen the curtains.

On the distressed paint effects, have you looked at the shabby chic thread in old style, lots of people there are into those techniques, so might have some useful tips.

Our househunting week didn't result in a house we liked, lots of near misses though, but will give it a rest now probably until after Christmas. It was good to hear that you move has gone so well.

macgirl

Hello. Don't know if I mentioned a while back that little DD kept making herself sick every day at nursery? Maybe not.
She did it most lunchtimes. It started by accident one day when she didn't want her lunch and she got such a lot of kind attention, she decided to carry on.

We nipped it in the bud when she tried it at home and it stopped straight away.

At the time she cried most mornings and said she didn't like nursery, but was always happy when I collected her and despite my worrying and guilt - the staff said she was always happy and would tell me if not.
I wondered whether she was suffering being there and whether my working was having a negative effect (the press love to bash us working women :cool:)

So, for the Summer we cut her to 2 days a week and she went to my Mum's for the other 2. The sickness stopped and she seemed happy. She has loved school and hasn't looked back, which is a huge relief. Until today.

I picked her up and the After School Club mentioned she'd been sick at school. My heart sank.

Although she's as tough as old boots, she's also really sensitive - and she's only 4 so I'm trying not to make it a huge issue, whilst gently trying to investigate. We decided not to mention it to the teacher before she started, as we didn't want to mark her out as a problem child and wanted to give her a fresh start.
We've said she can go on packed lunches after half term, as the teacher told the AS club she rarely eats her lunch (why no note in the bag?) and DH said she won't eat breakfast.......I want to try that route before going to our GP, it has crossed my mind, but I don't want to make it a bigger issue.

I'm at my wit's end. Sorry to bleat on here, I really wanted to keep it purely about money.

Today I have spent £1.10 and applied for the house insurance rebate
Hope your day was better.

gilligansyle

Don't know what to say about DD really. For what its worth I think you were right not to draw attention to it, as starting a new school is hard enough without being singled out.

Is it just her way of coping with change? Like bed wetting? But potentially more serious.

hypno06

Ooh, this is a tough one. My DD had serious eating issues a couple of times in her life. She was a bit older than your DD, at about 7 or 8 for the first "episode" but they were serious, and I didn't know how to handle them.

I found the eating disorder charity "BEAT" most helpful - they recognise that these things start much earlier than first thought, and whereas the GP will be likely to say "its a phase, she'll grow out of it" which of course she probably will, BEAT will help YOU handle it and ensure that you deal with it in a productive rather than destructive way.

I would hate any parent to have to go through what we went through, and thankfully since about the age of 12, DD has had a more reasonable relationship with food. You are right not to make a fuss over it with DD - if she is doing it for any sort of attention (and it is probably not a deliberate attention seeking action), then creating MORE attention will just feed the negativity and create a downward spiral.

But you do need some sort of support, and I would certainly hunt out support from BEAT's website. The majority of it is aimed at those who are slightly older, but the essence of it is still the same.

FWIW, DD has also since pointed adults to the site who don't know how to deal with these things, so she too recognises what support is needed.

You know where I am if you need xx

macgirl

gilligansyle wrote: »

Is it just her way of coping with change? Like bed wetting? But potentially more serious.

That's what I'm worried about....


Thanks for the info Hypno :kisses3: You are a one-woman CAB!

That's it in a nutshell, I don't know what to do. It was DH who said not to mention it at school, as he didn't want her marked out.

As you all know, she is a complex character, knows what she does and does not want and this seems to get her into trouble. She said the teacher keeps telling her off for talking when she shouldn't - but she is willful and won't be told, so will have to learn the hard way. This makes me feel sad and exasperated.

She came home and while I was in the loo, helped herself to some strawberries and said "Yummy!" when she saw her dinner and ate the lot. So I don't think it's food related, if that makes sense.

When I was her age, I had stomach ache most days and said I felt sick and couldn't go to school. My Mum is a very "no-nonsense" person and took me to the GP and pushed to get to the bottom of it. After many trips to the hospital for tests, she was told I was just nervous about something - a scary teacher at school. My Mum went in and sorted said teacher and I never had tummy aches again....but with DD I don't think it's that specific. It's more her general personality and that makes me want to protect her.

I spoke to DH and he sighed and said he's not cut out for all this - who is?! But doesn't think we need to go down the child psychologist route at the moment.

I will have a look at BEAT, thank you again x

hypno06

No, it probably isn't food related at this point in time. The danger, though, is that she grows to associate any sort of "attention" with the sickness which will then have the potential to develop into the food related stuff.

Which is why it is vital that you are able to handle it in the best way, which is really hard for you to do, I know, but so so important.

If YOU can handle this well, DD will follow, in her own time, but she will follow. Remember, you moved house because it was your dream. She is too young to have the same understanding and appreciation of how important that change is to you so deals with it in the only way she knows how.

Just the same as we would get tension headaches, or reach for an extra bar of chocolate or glass of wine - her body/brain is telling her to be sick.

macgirl

I appreciate what you're saying, but I honestly don't think it's the move. I am pretty tuned into to people and hand on heart, I don't think it's that.

There is someone at work, who rubs some people up the wrong way - just by simply "being". They too have a strong personality and weirdly, the same birthday as little DD, so understands her very well. But life has been very difficult at work for this person and they felt persecuted when it wasn't their fault, just because of how they react to those in authority. Though said person is very popular among the peers.

I really want to help DD avoid this, but feel powerless to an extent, as I can't change her fundamentally. I think that her character is too much for *some* people to take (including me at times!) and they react in a way that shocks her. Also, she mistakes hunger pains for tummy ache and says she feels sick, when I think it's really just low blood sugar.

Anyway, sorry for going on and thanks for taking the time to read and reply, it's much appreciated as always x

hypno06

Well, whatever it is - make sure that you look after yourself because if OH just says he can't deal with it, then it puts more pressure on you.

So hugs for you and I hope you have a better day today xx

macgirl

Good morning and thanks Hypno

Today is a new day. I cried for most of last night, DH was upstairs watching CSI - I don't like it - so when I went to bed he'd been thinking about it.

He said, there's nothing wrong with her, he thinks she's just not engaging with *her* life. On a Saturday she has to follow her sister around to ballet and swimming (she has tried both, but didn't like either) and he said, makes a game of going to the toilet, then gets told off for that.

She is a different character to her sister, of course, so he said he will try 5 more activities to engage her and if she doesn't like those, he'll try 30 more until we find something she enjoys.

So that's the plan and as I said - today is a new day.

Great pictures of the trapped miners getting out in Chile - wonderful.

Have a good day and thanks for caring xx

se999

Sorry to hear of your worries with DD. When is half-term? Maybe the break will do her good. Your OH's idea of some new out of school activites is a good one. Maybe she'd like something individual like a music lesson rather than the group ones like ballet and swimming, not every personality wants to mix all the time. It could be she prefers time sitting things out with OH rather than being one of the group doing the ballet or swimming. Just some more ideas to throw into the mix.

In the UK children are expected to cope with school very early compared to lots of other countries, the UK system is very pressurised now.

Hope you get to the bottom of it, and that you can manage to relax again and that DD is happier. It's not easy being a parent.