GeorgieFTB is finally here! Ohh... its gonna be a long slog!

ally18

Georgie,

Oh dear, you sound as if you are taking your mum's financial problems on board as your responsibility which is not good for you as you have yourself and your kids to look after as your priority now.

All I can say is you probably need to take a step backwards and let her get on with it. At the end of the day, the debt will be hers and there is only so much you can do to try and instill some reason into her. Sometimes people will just not listen to what it is you are saying because they don't want to hear it. Yes, it is frustrating because they don't want to listen but hey, you have talked her out of the holiday anyway which is great. Try not to worry too much if you can. I think the problem is nowadays that credit is way too easy to get, isn't it.

Its great that your kids are loving their new home, they seem to have settled well if they don't come back until they are hungry or are they getting lost in the brambles?

knithappens

hi there, hope you dont mind me follwoing, saw you post over on Lois diary, another single mum here, seems to be alot of us at the moment

will subscribe and pop back when little one stops sitting on the laptop

CathT

Hi Georgie, it's great that the boys have settled in so well. Sorry to hear about the stresses with family, it's hard when family members seem to make life difficult for themselves without listening to your advice. You have enough going on so try not to take it on board too much.

You mentionned your spreadsheet, i wouldn't mind a nose at it as mine doesn't tell me about savings - just amends the balance iykwim.

Sepa74

Hi Georgie,

I've really enjoyed your diary! Keep it up.

It's awful when your parents are bad with money as you do feel obliged to help out. But the other thing is because they are your parents they don't feel they need to take any notice of anything you might say to them!!!

But it's very liberating to have your own place and in your own name as it means it separates your finances from the rest of your family and you can establish boundaries within your own comfort zone.

Did you get BG sorted in the end? I HATE BG!!! I can't tell you how badly they messed up when I moved into my place... they had debt collectors after me! I swore I wouldn't even consider going back to them for 10 years... still got 5 to go!!

Don't stress about the overpayments... particularly so early on. Mine have been minimal even after 5 years, although I think that's an extreme case because I renewed the lease and have bought a garage on top of the new boiler and rewire the flat needed!

You just have to keep focused on the value you are getting for your daily interest charges - security, independence and a HOME!!

GeorgieFTB

knithappens wrote: »

hi there, hope you dont mind me follwoing, saw you post over on Lois diary, another single mum here, seems to be alot of us at the moment

will subscribe and pop back when little one stops sitting on the laptop

Yeah, I'm not sure why there seems to be so many of us, probably something to do with the security, if you have paid off your mortgage then no one can touch you, well thats my theory!!!

ally18 wrote: »

Georgie,

Oh dear, you sound as if you are taking your mum's financial problems on board as your responsibility which is not good for you as you have yourself and your kids to look after as your priority now.

All I can say is you probably need to take a step backwards and let her get on with it. At the end of the day, the debt will be hers and there is only so much you can do to try and instill some reason into her. Sometimes people will just not listen to what it is you are saying because they don't want to hear it. Yes, it is frustrating because they don't want to listen but hey, you have talked her out of the holiday anyway which is great. Try not to worry too much if you can. I think the problem is nowadays that credit is way too easy to get, isn't it.

Its great that your kids are loving their new home, they seem to have settled well if they don't come back until they are hungry or are they getting lost in the brambles?

Ally

I know I can't do anything, thats whats so frustrating!! I feel like the grown up in my family most of the time, always saying no... to the kids, to my mum... passing on advice, although my little sister has been listening, she has a little girl and will move out of my mums house probably sooner rather than later. She has taken on board how I budget and is trying to do the same things on a small scale. Meal planning her work lunches... and she's trying to keep to under a quid a day...

I did threaten to lock them up in the brambles!!! I picked the house and area carefully so there were chances for them to play out with some freedom... a bit like I grew up. I'm trying to bring up useful members of society so I need to teach them practical skills, and they need to learn street smarts...:eek:

Gx

GeorgieFTB

CathT wrote: »

Hi Georgie, it's great that the boys have settled in so well. Sorry to hear about the stresses with family, it's hard when family members seem to make life difficult for themselves without listening to your advice. You have enough going on so try not to take it on board too much.

You mentionned your spreadsheet, i wouldn't mind a nose at it as mine doesn't tell me about savings - just amends the balance iykwim.

Someone else asked for the spreadsheet, I will add some labels and make it a bit easier to follow then send it on to any that wants it. Promise, and if I don't get round to it then kick me!

Sepa74 wrote: »

Hi Georgie,

I've really enjoyed your diary! Keep it up.

It's awful when your parents are bad with money as you do feel obliged to help out. But the other thing is because they are your parents they don't feel they need to take any notice of anything you might say to them!!!

But it's very liberating to have your own place and in your own name as it means it separates your finances from the rest of your family and you can establish boundaries within your own comfort zone.

Did you get BG sorted in the end? I HATE BG!!! I can't tell you how badly they messed up when I moved into my place... they had debt collectors after me! I swore I wouldn't even consider going back to them for 10 years... still got 5 to go!!

Don't stress about the overpayments... particularly so early on. Mine have been minimal even after 5 years, although I think that's an extreme case because I renewed the lease and have bought a garage on top of the new boiler and rewire the flat needed!

You just have to keep focused on the value you are getting for your daily interest charges - security, independence and a HOME!!

Thanks for the pep talk, as I typed after allys pep talk, all I need her to do is accept that I'm perfect and take eveything I say as gospel:rotfl:!

BG have so far been alright, there was one bloke that I could quite happliy have smacked in the mouth but everyone else has been fine...

I'm not stressing about the overpayments, just annoyed with myself for not making any yet!!

I am sitting with my eldest at the moment, he is getting really interested in the smilies, wanted to know why they were :beer:, had to explain about cheers, and then he wanted to know why the dog was there, for dog see::money: Do you think he needs an eye test?

Gx

ally18

GeorgieFTB wrote: »

Ally

I know I can't do anything, thats whats so frustrating!! I feel like the grown up in my family most of the time, always saying no... to the kids, to my mum... passing on advice, although my little sister has been listening, she has a little girl and will move out of my mums house probably sooner rather than later. She has taken on board how I budget and is trying to do the same things on a small scale. Meal planning her work lunches... and she's trying to keep to under a quid a day...


Gx

Are you the eldest child by any chance? I am in my family, I think the eldest child always seems to be the one who feels they have to have the responsibility of others, both parents and siblings. I have two siblings younger and neither are concerned about my parents as I am because I know when something happens to them, it will be down to me to sort things out. I didn't want the responsibility but i have no choice really. I seem to have two families to look after, no wonder I get stressed so I think I know how you may be feeling sometimes. Lots of coffee and tea and chocolate helps

On the plus side, you seem to have made a good impression on your younger sister which is great.

GeorgieFTB

ally18 wrote: »

Are you the eldest child by any chance? I am in my family, I think the eldest child always seems to be the one who feels they have to have the responsibility of others, both parents and siblings. I have two siblings younger and neither are concerned about my parents as I am because I know when something happens to them, it will be down to me to sort things out. I didn't want the responsibility but i have no choice really. I seem to have two families to look after, no wonder I get stressed so I think I know how you may be feeling sometimes. Lots of coffee and tea and chocolate helps

On the plus side, you seem to have made a good impression on your younger sister which is great.

Thanks, nail, head, hit it!!!

My sister might be lazy and unadventurous but she's not stupid! She's seen me claw my way up to this level and she will listen to me, for some things at least! That sounded quite harsh, it wasn't meant to, but it is a fair comment so if she ever joins this site will probably not be happy but won't kill me...

Gx

babyb06

Nice to see you back on the MFW forum!

Glad to hear the boys have settled in, but typical that as one area of your life is running smoothly another isn't - sorry to hear about your family stress, can understand why you get involved, but you need to put you first - your mum won't listen if she isn't ready to change. My sister spends way beyond her means and always have, in fact the less she has the more she spends in an effort to prove to outsiders she isn't having money troubles! I am the 'responsible' one in my family (although the youngest sibling).

Hope the council tax doesn't end up being too much of a problem!

BabyB x

GeorgieFTB

OK, no whinging, not today... this diary is not going to become somewhere to vent, well not always anyway!:D

Finally stopped being a tax evader today, yay! £150 a month until jan,:eek: but not as bad as I'd thought!

My brambles have begun the fight back, I've left them for that few weekends and well, I'll give them their dues, they are plucky little fellows, they have decided to open up several fronts and now I'm going to have to go medieval, or hi-tech, and call in the napalm!!!! I am informed that there is 'stuff' that can be painted on the leaves that finally kills them off. To be honest I think mine could survive a nuclear winter but...

ohh...said I wasn't gonna rant, that sounded like a rant!!!

Gx