The Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Support Thread - Numero 9!

mollypolly

spinningsheep wrote: »

Hi guys. Just thought id share with you all, the other day, I kind of had an
epiphany and decided to give up the booze completely. After admitting it to myself that I indeed have a problem, I dispensed with every drop of booze in the house and its now been 3 days alcohol free, and having consumed a minimum of 100 units a week for approx 4 years, that is a big change for me. I can honestly say I feel great, I have had the best night's sleep in years and feel genuinely more alert and awake, it's like the fog has lifted! The thing is, I never knew there was any fog there until I stopped drinking. It hasn't affected my life in any way really until now, but recently I have been having so many bugs, and stomach problems and I had a day sick the other day as I felt so awful that morning. I have spoken to my line manager at work and she has offered me her unconditional suppport, and without anyone else at work knowing my problem, loads of people said how great I looked yesterday, so goodness knows how bad I must have looked before!!

Well done Spinningsheep.:T:T
Keep up the good work it really is worth all the effort.:)

Take care of You
Love Mollypollyxxxx

alchera

alchera wrote: »

I am in a completely crazy position.....3 and a half weeks ago I won, in a national European lottery, and I am not kidding here - 3,5 million Euros.....

I can see now why there has been some confusion about times. DUH! I am so sorry - what I meant was that the money was deposited into my bank account 3 and a half weeks ago. I won it at the end of March.



So sorry...

alchera

elantan wrote: »

do you know what hurts? what really really hurts ...

watching your best friend, the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with kill themself and knowing there is nothing nothing at all that you can do to stop it.... watching your marriage slowly die but finding yourself unwilling to give up until you can be able to say to yourself well i know i did my best ... i know there was nothing more i could do....

almost finding yourself wishing you believed in god so that you could pray for a miracle cause it looks like nothing else will cut it ... seeing a glimpse of the future for the man you love ... knowing he will loose everything EVERYTHING that means something to him ... to be replaced with drinking buddies and living in squalor till he gets sooooo ill he gets taken into hospital where he will slowly die an agonising death ....

that really really hurts


just wanted to share this with you all please don't think i am trying to be nasty or anything ... this is just where i am at just now and really wish i wasn't .... does anyone have any advice of what i can do to help hubby ?

I can't imagine why anyone would think you are being nasty. I also cannot imagine much that hurts more than what you are describing...I have been where you are, and my advice is based on hindsight and a massive reality check and not what I did when I was there, because what I did when I was there did not work. At all.

The first thing I want to tell you is that your hubby does not have to be on the streets before he gets cirrhosis and dies. This can happen when he is still living with you. He will probably be taken into hospital a few times before the final visit and, each time, it will be because you dialed 999, not him. It will probably happen some years before you expect it to.

If you really don't want to give up until you know you did everything to try and help him, here are some of the things you must do.

Never buy him drink.
Never go get him drink.
Look for where he hides his drink and get rid of it.
Never allow him to drink in your company.
Do not allow him to be with you when he is drinking. Make him choose between the drink and you (He'll choose the drink)
However, those times when he has no access to drink and is sober, you will desperately want to be with him so will have to put up with him having withdrawals, shaking, sweating, having peripheral neuritis, vomiting, inability to sleep at all for days and possibly, epileptic fits caused by reduction in alcohol intake.
Call doctors, alcohol counsellors and whomever else you think can help. Make appointments for him and drag him along to them.
Try to get his GP to prescribe him disulfiram. Good luck with getting him to actually take it.
Keep drinking buddies away from him.
Don't allow him to go to bars, where he will have the ability to get complete strangers to buy him drink, all day and all night.
Never allow him to have any excess money, not even the cost of a phonecall.
Never let him go anywhere without you.
If he does go say to the shops, alone - make sure he takes precisely the amount of time, to the second, that it takes to go to the shops and no more, no time for a detour to buy alcohol.
Make sure he has not a cent extra that he can use to buy drink or make a phonecall to someone who will bring him drink.
Spend every second of every hour of every day worrying about whether or not he is drinking.

I'm sorry that this is harsh. I have done all of these things. I loved my partner more than I ever loved anyone in my life and the feeling was mutual - but my partner still died.

The bottom line is that, there is nothing you can do to help your hubby. What you can do, and need to do, is help yourself. But, if you didn't get Al Anon, then you probably won't get this.

I hear you, I have been where you are and it was the worst five years of my life and I would not go through it again for anything....because it was so futile...The only thing I can tell myself nowadays is that I did everything I could to save my partner...which is why I have told you everything I did, that I can recall, because I do think it is important to feel that you did do everything.....while, by the way, your hubby was doing !!!!!! all...

Elantan - please message me if you want to and if you feel I may be of some help to you.

alchera

spinningsheep wrote: »

Hi guys. Just thought id share with you all, the other day, I kind of had an
epiphany and decided to give up the booze completely. After admitting it to myself that I indeed have a problem, I dispensed with every drop of booze in the house and its now been 3 days alcohol free, and having consumed a minimum of 100 units a week for approx 4 years, that is a big change for me. I can honestly say I feel great, I have had the best night's sleep in years and feel genuinely more alert and awake, it's like the fog has lifted! The thing is, I never knew there was any fog there until I stopped drinking. It hasn't affected my life in any way really until now, but recently I have been having so many bugs, and stomach problems and I had a day sick the other day as I felt so awful that morning. I have spoken to my line manager at work and she has offered me her unconditional suppport, and without anyone else at work knowing my problem, loads of people said how great I looked yesterday, so goodness knows how bad I must have looked before!!

Are you having any physical symptoms? Do you have no energy? What was the epiphany?

alchera

365days wrote: »

Well if you've got the money, time, drink problem and the desire to stop it can't do any harm.

I'm afraid I don't understand this...

365days

alchera wrote: »

I'm afraid I don't understand this...

I must admit I thought you were some kind of troll. So my answer to your question 'What do you think of going into 'posh' rehab?' was as above. i.e if you have the time, money, drink problem and desire to stop going into rehab isn't going to do any harm. Short and sweet!

honeybear_2

Haven't read back so hope I'm not barging into the middle of somethings *dons tin hat just in case*

Haven't left either, just been busy & tired. Am also reading "I'll Go To Bed At Noon" by Gerard Woodward. It's a novel & really hits home & hard about alcoholism. I haven't had anyone who suffered in my family but I know some have so I don't know how you'd find it. However I am finding a very good, albeit disturbing, read

*bearhugs*

xx

penelopedee_2

Quiet tonight, everyone out?:)

maman

penelopedee wrote: »

Quiet tonight, everyone out?:)

No I'm here Pen but not AF(:o).

:wave: HB, that book sounds heavy but interesting. I think I'll stick to the chick lit.

I'm off to watch New Tricks (I'm so old I remember Dennis Waterman when he was really hot).

penelopedee_2

Hi Maman, I'm not AF either. We are waiting for New Tricks, currently laughing at QI.

Have a nice evening, Pen