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The Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Support Thread - Numero 9!
Comments
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healthylifestyle wrote: »Sim, I've only just joined this thread, but sorry to hear what happened. Rest up today, and tomorrow, so hopefully tomorrow you'll feel better even though you feel bad now. x Hugs
Thanks Pen, CuppaTea, Markman, maman, Miss Piggy and everyone else. I wish I'd subscribed to this thread sooner. I've had a good day, so feeling positive.
Day 3, 3 AFD's December
2 AFDS this weeks challenge
Thank You.
Great to read you've had a good day, and congrats to you for your three sober days
xx0 -
AF tonight please Shaggy.This time I haven't smoked since 6th Jan 2014 and still going ok.
Fingers crossed x0 -
:santa2: Weekly Challenge :santa2:Ho Ho Ho, I know its nearly that time of year again and everyone is out socialising. Therefore please just let me know how many days you want to be AF between now and Friday - and I'll make the challenge up from there. Pen :xmastree::xmassmile
4 nights:
Healthylifestyle :xmassmile:xmassmile
Jan :xmassmile
Pen :xmassmile:xmassmile
2 nights:
CuppaTea :xmassmile
Maman :xmassmile
Mark :xmassmileAnyone want to join us this week? :xmassmileThis time I haven't smoked since 6th Jan 2014 and still going ok.
Fingers crossed x0 -
Evening all
Sim - I was so sad to read your post. You have been doing so well lately and was sounding positive. You CAN pick yourself up from this. You've done it before and you'll do it again. Be strong.
Healthylifestyle - glad to hear you sounding so positive.:)
No urges towards the wine bottle here tonight thankfully.
Miss P
xx**Keep Calm and Carry On!**0 -
SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »Thanks Pen and Mark. Hope you, and everyone on here is having a relaxing evening.
Been in my dressing gown since Sunday. Just feel overwhelmed.
After two week's training for my new job, I took Friday off..
Then after falling off the wagon and wasting so much money Friday, I was sick while asleep in my bed (sorry to be grim), and that was b loody scary.
Yet I still carried on drinking Saturday, from about 11am onwards up until 2.30am Sunday morning.
For some bonkers reason, I agreed to meet up with my ex - Girlfriend and her mate in a pub at about 1am.
After about 10 minutes, ex - Girlfriend's mate launches into a drunken tirade against me for no reason, asking me to f off etc. Had her brother asking me to 'stand up, and come outside'..
I didn't react. Just about kept my cool (even the bouncer congratulated me for not losing my temper, even after being provoked so much. Said bouncer then asked both girls to leave), but then stupidly let my ex Girlfriend back to mine at about 2.30am.
She was ok until later Sunday morning, when she too launched into verbal abuse - eg -
While we were lying in bed, having not long woken up, she says "I don't think you can stop drinking. You're too old at 37 (She's 26) You'll probably die..Loser..Loser, you're just a f ucking loser drunk man - child.." and other niceties.. Quite :-/
I've since had to email / call my work's absence line, letting them know I've been too ill to work both Monday evening, and tonight.
Obviously I haven't gone into detail, but I feel bad as they're great guys.
It doesn't help that I worked for the same company last year, and ended up losing my job in November '09 due to breaching absence policy.
My boss back then was very supportive, and even when she had to let me go, she asked me to sort myself out (I'd been honest with her about the alcoholism / depression / anxiety) and then reapply when I was better.
I thought I was better and yet after three weeks, I've now already taken three days off.
Scared witless I'm going to lose my job after only just starting.
I wan't to go back tomorrow evening, but I've got a mountain of paperwork to go over, and in a nutshell my head is not taking it in and I just don't feel prepared.
As I need the money though I don't have a choice.
Aside from that, I want to be working.
My ex - Girlfriend has luckily now left me alone since Sunday.
I'd had about 15 missed calls on Friday evening, and about 27 missed calls from her on Saturday.
She says she wants me to get better, but I don't believe her anymore. It's textbook co - dependency, and she doesn't have my best interests at heart.
Between March and August of this year, she's hit me four times. I've never retaliated.
Her unpredictable behaviour is actually starting to scare me (such as her texting my best mate on Saturday, telling him "You're a f'in t*at, and Sim thinks you are too"). Inexcusable in my opinion.
I owe her money.
Paid her back £85 last Friday morning first thing, and yet a day later she's thanking me but is immediately asking about the rest of money I owe her. The money has become a stick with which she can beat me, as is my drink problem. Both of these factors are in her mind, leverage. She constantly wants a confrontation, rather than come to a repayment arrangement civilly.
I want to repay her, and I will repay her, but I owe approx £13,000 to everyone including her (aside from another £12,000 in Student Loans).
My neck feels like a lump of concrete, and I've had a permanent lump in my throat since the weekend.
My ex luckily left mine at about 1pm Sunday with no fuss, apart from the verbal abuse. She did calm down though, but kept asking me "Did you ever love me?" repeatedly.
My biggest worry is my job. I need to get back to it tomorrow evening, and I don't know if I'm well enough to cope with the stress of feeling unprepared.
I really don't want to lose the job though, as it's a positive focus and it's an income.
Am also worried about the questions from my supervisor when I do return (they do 'return to work interviews' and my past issues with the booze from last year are bound to come up - I don't want to lie about the drinking this last weekend, but by the same token I don't think it'll help telling them) :-/
To top it all off, I ran out of 'beta - blockers' (to lower my anxiety) which I've been on for about 3 1/2 years.
I haven't taken my daily tablet since last Wednesday (repeat prescription is waiting at the Doc's). This is obviously adding to my jitters.
Sorry to witter ladies and gents.
It helps to just type this, and get it out of my head.
Any objective advice as to what the hell I do regarding my job (and the subsequent return to work interview), would be most appreciated.
Cheers,
Sim xx
That's a heck of a lot to have on your mind Sim.
One person on their own cannot physically or mentally take on all of that at once. You have to stop, completely stop, and take stock of what's really happening. In the meantime, the ex-girlfriend issue is a real sidetracker. You need to push that aside if you can, and come back to it later once everything else is safely in hand. Turn off the phone if that's what it takes. With things the way they are, you need to concentrate on YOU for a little while. If that means letting the job go, then so be it. There will be other opportunities. You need to give yourself time to work through things, recover, become used to a new routine, and be de-toxed, and nourished.
On the other hand, if the job is important to you, then use it as a focus.. a solid goal to work with and make reality, while everything else is shifting around you. Work can often be a saviour.
I know it sounds like I'm contradicting myself here - give up work, or make work your focus - but I guess what I'm getting at, is that you have to make SOMETHING your focus! You need a starting point to work from. From there, you can pick up the trail of your life and re-spin it, adding in each overcome problem as you go, like shiny new threads. The most important thing to remember is that there is always tomorrow. Go easy on yourself.SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »It also doesn't help that I have £6.00 for food (my fridge will be empty as of tomorrow) until a week on Friday..
You can buy a veg, stock, pasta, rice, and some meats for under a fiver. Make stew, soup, curry, and casserole for a week. Pity you're not in my house.. I just made enough meals for a month on only £15Check out the old style money saving threads as there are loads of ideas.
You're such a positive, can-do person Sim, I can't see you being down for too longThe only thing we know for sure, is that we know nothing0 -
Sim i'm sitting hear admiring the fact you managed 4 WEEKS in a row, i struggle to get to 4 days, that in itself speaks volumes!
Take Marks very good advice and start again tomorrow.
Plus if its any consolation your post kicked me up the bum because at 10pm, i was seriously contemplating a glass of baileys, i've been craving it all evening. But to ruin an AF day at 10pm would just be silly. I've now decided to stick to the 2 day challenge (and that's THANKS to you) and treat myself tomorrow instead.
Thinking of you and everyone else.
1 AF day for me please SHAGGYLive for the moment and plan for the future0 -
Miss Piggy - No urges towards the wine bottle here tonight thankfully. - i hope i can say that one day with my fave tipples.
Samanthya, excellent post, very wise words!
Sim we are all behind you, i don't know what else to say as its all be said to articulately.Live for the moment and plan for the future0 -
Hi, long-time lurker, first-time poster ... but one who draws a lot of inspiration from this board and from this thread in particular! (I'm sure all the other 'invisibles' would concur)
Long story short - I was widowed about 4 years ago aged just 43 and as my daughter has a lively social life I spend most weekends on my own - or I would if I never left the house. I do a lot of walking in my free time - even the recent weather hasn't stopped me - but I tend to gravitate towards the pubs on my regular routes. I drink quite a bit at home as well, partly out of boredom and also to make myself feel better. I don't want to give up completely but I do need to cut down. On Saturday I had about 15 units (beer + vodka) and much too late in the evening which was really stupid as I had to drive the following morning. The only good thing was that I got rid of all the alcohol in the house so I haven't had a drop since. Can you put me down for 10 AF days this month please? I've managed three, so I feel that's a realistic aspiration. Good luck to everyone in the same leaky boat. David
Oh and before I post again I'll work out how to write in red!!0 -
Please take care Sim.
It seems you're locked in a spiral of 2-3 day bender, feel rubbish for a few days, feel better for a few weeks, then 2-3 day bender.
That is very very hard, and you must be exhausted by the stress, anxiety, self-loathing, powerlessness, etc. You're in my prayers.
For me, I have to put my sobriety first.
If I put my job first, then I will drink again. If I drink, I will lose my job, family, money etc. Not all in one night, but over time it all would go. Also, my self-esteem, self-respect, self-love, and self-confidence would all go too.
So sobriety first, and then everything else falls into place. I can put sobriety first and still do a big job with long hours. I wouldn't have/keep the job if not sober.
EVERYTHING I put before my sobriety I will lose eventually, and that includes my life.
I need to do something every single day to stay sober. It sometimes is very little, but if I don't do it, I am playing with fire. And if I play with fire, I will get burnt.
If I cannot answer to the affirmative to the question I ask myself "did I do everything in my power to stay sober today?" then I am on dangerous ground.
I will always be an alcoholic. Everyday.
Thus I need to do something everyday to ensure I don't drink
Take care old pal0 -
Diagonal_Man wrote: »Hi, long-time lurker, first-time poster ... but one who draws a lot of inspiration from this board and from this thread in particular! (I'm sure all the other 'invisibles' would concur)
Long story short - I was widowed about 4 years ago aged just 43 and as my daughter has a lively social life I spend most weekends on my own - or I would if I never left the house. I do a lot of walking in my free time - even the recent weather hasn't stopped me - but I tend to gravitate towards the pubs on my regular routes. I drink quite a bit at home as well, partly out of boredom and also to make myself feel better. I don't want to give up completely but I do need to cut down. On Saturday I had about 15 units (beer + vodka) and much too late in the evening which was really stupid as I had to drive the following morning. The only good thing was that I got rid of all the alcohol in the house so I haven't had a drop since. Can you put me down for 10 AF days this month please? I've managed three, so I feel that's a realistic aspiration. Good luck to everyone in the same leaky boat. David
Oh and before I post again I'll work out how to write in red!!
There you go diagonalman, I've done it for you so that Shaggy picks it up in the morning. Welcome on board the thread, you've come to the right place. I think it's eminently sensible to do something about excess drinking BEFORE Christmas!
(says she who has been drinking tonight at a Christmas party:o, but I haven't drunk that much. I'm sure not enough to be hungover tomorrow)0
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