We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

The Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Support Thread - Numero 9!

1240241243245246486

Comments

  • janjan1_3
    janjan1_3 Posts: 62 Forumite
    edited 7 December 2010 at 4:21PM
    I love Lindt balls too but love jumpy smilies more:j

    Totally with MarkMan and Pen's comments about weight loss when AF...even a few days makes a difference.....Not to mention feeling clear headed and looking generally more alive!!

    I find some evenings that I really struggle up to about 8.00 and if I get that far, more often than not the bells start to fade and I become quite calm ( not always I must add!!). So, I have taken to keeping really busy between 6 and 8 ish doing anything and everything to keep myself from reaching for the easy option which usually lurks in the fridge in the form of a wine bottle.

    Monkey nuts can be quite good fun and they make so much mess that this again provides another distraction from the bad stuff:rotfl:

    Hope everyone's ok today and it's herb teas all the way again for me this eve for sure, as I really do prefer life without a groggy, fuzzy head!

    Hugs to all
    JJ x
  • MarkMan
    MarkMan Posts: 142 Forumite
    Shaggydoo, could you please put me down for 10 AFD for December challenge. xx

    I'm going to put on weight, as my chocolate digestive tins been emptied. :o

    At least biccies wont give you a sore, groggy head in the morning:D Well done HLS. Bells have just started ringing for me, so its off to the gym with no cash in my pockets - miles instead of beer for me (at least for the next couple of hours...) Gotta do two straight days AF - maman dared me!:p

    Good luck.
    Smoke-free since Jan 2012 :j Now its just the drink, and the weight, and life in general :p
  • maman wrote: »
    What a fantastically positive post caz, you're infectious!!

    Congratulations on finishing your essays:T

    I'm sure keeping off the sauce will make you look radiant for the party and save you lots of pennies while you're at it. Spend it on something nice and sparkly to wear instead.


    Yes that's the plan, LOL.

    And thank you for your post, it's so nice that you felt my positivity........spurs me on!

    Hugs
    Caz
    xxxxxxxxxxxxx
    He who does not economize will have to agonize (Confucius)

    Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship (Benjamin Franklin) :eek:
  • SimIsOnTheUp
    SimIsOnTheUp Posts: 1,370 Forumite
    Hi,

    Have f ucked up big style this last weekend, after nearly making 4 weeks sober.

    I'm at the end of my tether with everything.

    Hugs to anyone else who needs them, as I certainly do.

    Sim xx
  • Hugs Sim. Take care and don't be so hard on yourself, just try and climb back on the wagon.
    This time I haven't smoked since 6th Jan 2014 and still going ok.
    Fingers crossed x
  • MarkMan
    MarkMan Posts: 142 Forumite
    Hi,

    Have f ucked up big style this last weekend, after nearly making 4 weeks sober.

    I'm at the end of my tether with everything.

    Hugs to anyone else who needs them, as I certainly do.

    Sim xx

    Don't worry Sim. You will slip up from time to time, we all do to some degree. You did 4 weeks sober, and messed up for 2-3 days. Not a bad ratio. Just put it behind you and try again - you can do another 4 weeks like you just have.:T

    You're still doing well, just wobbled a bit. Don't give up on yourself, we're all here to help you move on. A couple more AF days this week, and you'll feel much better again, and things wont look half as bad - I used to get so paranoid after a bad weekend/week, then looking back on it after a few AF days, I couldn't believe what I was worried about!:o

    Good luck!:D
    Smoke-free since Jan 2012 :j Now its just the drink, and the weight, and life in general :p
  • SimIsOnTheUp
    SimIsOnTheUp Posts: 1,370 Forumite
    edited 7 December 2010 at 9:06PM
    Thanks Pen and Mark. Hope you, and everyone on here is having a relaxing evening.

    Been in my dressing gown since Sunday. Just feel overwhelmed.

    After two week's training for my new job, I took Friday off..

    Then after falling off the wagon and wasting so much money Friday, I was sick while asleep in my bed (sorry to be grim), and that was b loody scary.

    Yet I still carried on drinking Saturday, from about 11am onwards up until 2.30am Sunday morning.

    For some bonkers reason, I agreed to meet up with my ex - Girlfriend and her mate in a pub at about 1am.

    After about 10 minutes, ex - Girlfriend's mate launches into a drunken tirade against me for no reason, asking me to f off etc. Had her brother asking me to 'stand up, and come outside'..

    I didn't react. Just about kept my cool (even the bouncer congratulated me for not losing my temper, even after being provoked so much. Said bouncer then asked both girls to leave), but then stupidly let my ex Girlfriend back to mine at about 2.30am.

    She was ok until later Sunday morning, when she too launched into verbal abuse - eg -

    While we were lying in bed, having not long woken up, she says "I don't think you can stop drinking. You're too old at 37 (She's 26) You'll probably die..Loser..Loser, you're just a f ucking loser drunk man - child.." and other niceties.. Quite :-/

    I've since had to email / call my work's absence line, letting them know I've been too ill to work both Monday evening, and tonight.

    Obviously I haven't gone into detail, but I feel bad as they're great guys.

    It doesn't help that I worked for the same company last year, and ended up losing my job in November '09 due to breaching absence policy.

    My boss back then was very supportive, and even when she had to let me go, she asked me to sort myself out (I'd been honest with her about the alcoholism / depression / anxiety) and then reapply when I was better.

    I thought I was better and yet after three weeks, I've now already taken three days off.

    Scared witless I'm going to lose my job after only just starting.

    I wan't to go back tomorrow evening, but I've got a mountain of paperwork to go over, and in a nutshell my head is not taking it in and I just don't feel prepared.

    As I need the money though I don't have a choice.

    Aside from that, I want to be working.

    My ex - Girlfriend has luckily now left me alone since Sunday.

    I'd had about 15 missed calls on Friday evening, and about 27 missed calls from her on Saturday.

    She says she wants me to get better, but I don't believe her anymore. It's textbook co - dependency, and she doesn't have my best interests at heart.

    Between March and August of this year, she's hit me four times. I've never retaliated.

    Her unpredictable behaviour is actually starting to scare me (such as her texting my best mate on Saturday, telling him "You're a f'in t*at, and Sim thinks you are too"). Inexcusable in my opinion.

    I owe her money.

    Paid her back £85 last Friday morning first thing, and yet a day later she's thanking me but is immediately asking about the rest of money I owe her. The money has become a stick with which she can beat me, as is my drink problem. Both of these factors are in her mind, leverage. She constantly wants a confrontation, rather than come to a repayment arrangement civilly.

    I want to repay her, and I will repay her, but I owe approx £13,000 to everyone including her (aside from another £12,000 in Student Loans).

    My neck feels like a lump of concrete, and I've had a permanent lump in my throat since the weekend.

    My ex luckily left mine at about 1pm Sunday with no fuss, apart from the verbal abuse. She did calm down though, but kept asking me "Did you ever love me?" repeatedly.

    My biggest worry is my job. I need to get back to it tomorrow evening, and I don't know if I'm well enough to cope with the stress of feeling unprepared.

    I really don't want to lose the job though, as it's a positive focus and it's an income.

    Am also worried about the questions from my supervisor when I do return (they do 'return to work interviews' and my past issues with the booze from last year are bound to come up - I don't want to lie about the drinking this last weekend, but by the same token I don't think it'll help telling them) :-/

    To top it all off, I ran out of 'beta - blockers' (to lower my anxiety) which I've been on for about 3 1/2 years.

    I haven't taken my daily tablet since last Wednesday (repeat prescription is waiting at the Doc's). This is obviously adding to my jitters.

    Sorry to witter ladies and gents.

    It helps to just type this, and get it out of my head.

    Any objective advice as to what the hell I do regarding my job (and the subsequent return to work interview), would be most appreciated.

    Cheers,

    Sim xx
  • poohbear59
    poohbear59 Posts: 4,866 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    7/24 AF !!! Thank you shaggy!
    business mortgage £0))''(+ Barclay's business kitchen loan £0=Total paid off was £96105 PPI claimed and received £13527
    'I had a black dog, his name was depression".
  • MarkMan
    MarkMan Posts: 142 Forumite
    Sim - it often helps to write things down, and no-one's going to mind if this is the place.

    I feel for you sooo much. That could have been me, but for some lucky breaks. I've called in sick and then carried on drinking. In the end, I had to face it - sober up as best I could, accept the crap few days, apologise profusely to everyone and pray that I would keep my job. I did - I was very, very lucky.:o

    I'm not going to try and offer you any advice on the specifics (there are trained people to help you there), but all I can say is that you're going to have to sober up from this latest setback sometime, and things have a better chance of working out if its sooner rather than later.

    Maybe it might help if you pour everything out to a councellor who can actually give you proper advice and help.

    Sorry I can't help more. I really feel for you, and can see how you must be worried sick by the whole situation, but if you carry on drinking from the weekend, you know what will happen.

    My thoughts are with you and fingers are crossed. Who knows, sort this one out tomorrow, and in 7 days time you could be back to where you were 7 days ago.

    Good luck and keep coming back for support when you need it.:)
    Smoke-free since Jan 2012 :j Now its just the drink, and the weight, and life in general :p
  • SimIsOnTheUp
    SimIsOnTheUp Posts: 1,370 Forumite
    MarkMan wrote: »
    Sim - it often helps to write things down, and no-one's going to mind if this is the place.

    I feel for you sooo much. That could have been me, but for some lucky breaks. I've called in sick and then carried on drinking. In the end, I had to face it - sober up as best I could, accept the crap few days, apologise profusely to everyone and pray that I would keep my job. I did - I was very, very lucky.:o

    I'm not going to try and offer you any advice on the specifics (there are trained people to help you there), but all I can say is that you're going to have to sober up from this latest setback sometime, and things have a better chance of working out if its sooner rather than later.

    Maybe it might help if you pour everything out to a councellor who can actually give you proper advice and help.

    Sorry I can't help more. I really feel for you, and can see how you must be worried sick by the whole situation, but if you carry on drinking from the weekend, you know what will happen.

    My thoughts are with you and fingers are crossed. Who knows, sort this one out tomorrow, and in 7 days time you could be back to where you were 7 days ago.

    Good luck and keep coming back for support when you need it.:)

    Thanks so much MarkMan. I love your attitude.

    I'm going to rest this evening, as my whole body just aches immensely.

    Tomorrow, my mate is coming over (she's just texted me, she know's all about the booze, and having been in rehab herself, she's now nearly two years sober) at 10am, so this will motivate me to tidy my flat first thing tomorrow morning.

    Then, I'm going to try and *do what I can* within the time I've got, and slowly but surely go over my notes and prepare as best I can for my shift tomorrow evening (it is only a four hour shift after all).

    I've emphasised your last paragraph as it's so positive, and as tough as I'm finding my feelings of regret and anger (mostly at myself, but partly at my ex Girlfriend and her mate), if I've done it before (as I have, as I was doing well with my training last week) then I can do it again.

    Everything is just so foggy at the moment.

    It also doesn't help that I have £6.00 for food (my fridge will be empty as of tomorrow) until a week on Friday.. and all because of me stupidly drinking.

    Thanks again,

    Sim.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 352K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.2K Spending & Discounts
  • 245K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 600.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.4K Life & Family
  • 258.8K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.