Burnout? can't cope with daily problems

ERICS_MUM

scousekraut wrote: »

Thanks for your kind words RacyRed & Erics Mum, they have brought me to tears again!!!
I managed to pluck up the courage to telephone the client this morning, to ask if he would reschedule his meeting for Monday morning.
However before I did this I have sent my boss an email, in an attempt to provide some details over what went wrong, and mentioned that I would understand if they wanted to terminate with immediate effect.
I feel sooooo guilty...depressed and useless.

Save it until you know for certain that:

a. the client is moving his business elsewhere
b. you actually have been "terminated" (well, from your job anyway!!)

SO, what are you doing this morning ? Please do something to keep yourself busy. Laundry, hoovering, gardening (but it's raining here in Essex :T), paint your nails, bake a cake.
Let us know as soon as you hear from the client and boss.

Linda xx

scousekraut

Its raining here too...and I don't have a garden!!!
Was going to do some job searching...but my head isn't in the right place at the moment.
Think I will clean the bathroom.
I haven't heard from my boss as yet...I'll bet he is in a huddle with the backstabbing Office Manager and CEO...trying to decide what to do.

amalis

scousekraut, I am so sorry for what is happening in your life. I know I am not the right person to advise here ,I am in same mess as you are.I support- keep yourself busy for now. You are a good person and good dedicated professional. You are just having bad period in your life.
P.S. I also just spend 1400 from my savings for professional development course which my company didnt want to pay for.

amalis

nm123, I do have lots of friends actually who keep asking me to go to coffee or just to talk. When I am not depressed I am fun person to be around. But now I just feel it so hard to get up, make a call and to go out. But you are right , being aroudn people is making you think less and this is the main problem of tired and depressed people like us- we think too much. Tuesday and Wednesday this week were the worst days for me, but in the evenings I had some prearranged meetings with frinds which I could not cancell and it was much better than staying at home crying.
Unfortunately I have no plans for this weekend. I will be completely alone , my husband is working. Maybe it is a good thing. Dont know yet what I will do. Should do some laundry and cleaning, but this is the thing I hate doing.

RacyRed

amalis wrote: »

nm123, I do have lots of friends actually who keep asking me to go to coffee or just to talk. When I am not depressed I am fun person to be around. But now I just feel it so hard to get up, make a call and to go out. But you are right , being aroudn people is making you think less and this is the main problem of tired and depressed people like us- we think too much. Tuesday and Wednesday this week were the worst days for me, but in the evenings I had some prearranged meetings with frinds which I could not cancell and it was much better than staying at home crying.
Unfortunately I have no plans for this weekend. I will be completely alone , my husband is working. Maybe it is a good thing. Dont know yet what I will do. Should do some laundry and cleaning, but this is the thing I hate doing.

Getr yourself a hobby Sweetheart. What about joining us on the crochet thread? It is fun, easy and very quick and productive. If that doesn't appeal, try one of the many other hobby ideas on this site, there are so many. Spend your weekend doing something you enjoy, either an existing something or experimenting with new ones.

RacyRed

scousekraut wrote: »

Its raining here too...and I don't have a garden!!!
Was going to do some job searching...but my head isn't in the right place at the moment.
Think I will clean the bathroom.
I haven't heard from my boss as yet...I'll bet he is in a huddle with the backstabbing Office Manager and CEO...trying to decide what to do.

Keep as calm as you can Hun. Give yourself a bit of a break this morning and get stuck into something energetic - cleaning the bathroom is a good one, want to come and do mine too?

ERICS_MUM wrote:

It's done for me - after 5 years of long-term sick leave my company have pensioned me off at 54 on medical grounds. I'm fit for nothing now, don't think i will ever be able to work again. I have no attention span, can't bear to be rushed or have any sort of routine. By 3pm every day I get overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to do - laundry, gardening etc so I have a nap for 2 hours.

Same here, except I was simply dumped, not pensioned off. 30 years of working my butt off and once I got too old and tired to take the pressure anymore it was "Bye, you're on your own now".

Think carefully folks, when you spend all those years making the extra effort for demanding bosses it is NOT taken into account if things start going wrong for you. We all think they will appreciate the years of hard work and productivity, but the bottom line is almost always how much profit you are making for them THIS week. :mad:

I operate on the 4 job principal now. I've 4 very different part time income sources so am no longer entirely dependent on any one of them. This way no one "boss" is able to destroy my way of life at the stroke of a pen, as been done to me before.

Strangely enough I'm finding I'm able to cope with working this way - mind you, I have to. Because I'd spent most of my life in a "good" job I fell through the benefits net with one almighty thump, the state wasn't happy until I'd lost almost everything I'd spent my life accumulating. I'd no experience of the benefit system so was refused help that I now realise I was entitled to.

Now I'm resilient enough to stand on my own two feet and I'm much happier now than I was when I was trying to please unrealistically demanding employers.

Be very careful about where you invest your health and well-being.

londoner1998

Amalis

re: job interview- listen, nobody likes to listen to this, I a year ago i was interviewing for athe post of manager in a small charity... I had ex-Saatchi & Sat=atchi directors, investment fund managers, entrepeneurs, ... incredibly smart people with tons of experience. And all through the interviews, one thing was in my mind (and my colleague's)- 'you will be bored out of your skull in a week' 'Politics here will drive you insane' 'Yeah, superdriven, but that will rub trustees the wrong way'. In other words: it is nothing to do with you- people recruiting have to think of who will be the best, the happiest and will fit better within the organisation. It is not about your reasons for wanting the job, but whether the job will benefit from you at the time and whether you will be challenged enough and confortable to do it. I had people that were just too good. And some people get it wring, you might be perfect but they didn't see that at interview. So it probably is for the best that you didn't get it this time. I was like you for about 9 months, a rejection a month after presentations, research and what not. In the end I got what I needed. It might just be that you need to deal wiuth your exhaustion right now, rather than keep going forwards with a new job and the stresses it brings (don't underestimate this). Give yourself time to mourn that job and then please let it go- it really doesn't matter, your health matters.

AXX

I second the counselling bit- it will help you to break things down bit by bit and deal with one thing at a time. But please, don't beat yourself about the job because it is really nothing to do with you. I have been on both sides and I promise you this is true.

ETA-I totally agree with Ericsmum comment about managemnt not doign their job properly if they said they had been unhappy about your work for a long time beforehand. Their job is to manage you and make sure you have everything you need at your disposal to do your job to the best. NO excuses for looking away and then complain, if it is true what they say

ERICS_MUM

RacyRed wrote: »

Getr yourself a hobby Sweetheart. What about joining us on the crochet thread? It is fun, easy and very quick and productive. If that doesn't appeal, try one of the many other hobby ideas on this site, there are so many. Spend your weekend doing something you enjoy, either an existing something or experimenting with new ones.

You beat me to it, I was going to suggest cross stitch. I love it and can spend hours stitching, I lose myself in it and stop all the churning thoughts and ruminating. I joined the Cross Stitch Cafe thread on here and you'd be amazed how many ladies there are like us or have been like us. In an odd sort of way it's quite comforting to know that so many people have these sorts of lives.

The highlight of my weekend is getting my flu jab tomorrow afternoon - I qualify because I've recently developed diabetes. I also need to sort out my knicker drawer !


Linda xx

RacyRed

Amalis & Scousekraut

How have you both been today?

amalis

Hi! I went to Samaritans office today because I felt I on the edge of breakdown . To be honest i was a bit disappointed, I did not feel better at all. I understand that it is not counselling and all they do was letting me talk without any advise or smthg. It was not enough . Am at home all day , crying :-(