big debts / big plans - would welcome some moral support

lynzpower

Do you mean with your husband?

*zippy*

:hello: Hi BOT

I have just read through your whole post and found it very moving, you sound so lovely you shouldn't be living like this. You are not a mug, he has just ground you down over the years. None of your debts are from reckless spending, its just trying to manage to bring up 5 kids with not enough money. You have a good income as a family and you shouldn't have this sort of worry, your husband should be ashamed of himself.

I really wish you the best

zippy xxx

beans_on_toast_2

lynzpower wrote:

Do you mean with your husband?

yes thats right

beans_on_toast_2

thanks zippy, thats very sweet. i feel i only have myself to blame - but messages like that make me feel much better x

Toto

Aww I really feel for you, you need some help here. You should not be going through this and you are most certainly not a mug. I have lived through something very simillar and my heart goes out to you because living on eggshells is awful. it is sounding more and more like none of this is your fault at all. You need to keep telling yourself this over and over again until it sinks in. Then you will start to find the strength to deal with the real issue, which is your marriage.

lynzpower

I could not agree more with Toto and of course we are all here to help you. its very seldom that ddbt problems happen in a vacuum theres always some emotional factor built in there somewhere, none of us are exceptions to this rule

beans_on_toast_2

thanks, all of you x

Little_Miss_Winner

Hi Bot,

Hugs to you babe, i am sure you could really do with them.

You need to understand that the ONLY reason you have debt, is because you are scared stiff of telling your husband. These are normal household bills that you owe, THESE ARENT YOUR FAULT!!!!!

I presume he has been violent to you in the past?

I think this is the issue here, and not the debts? AM i right babe?

Hugs for now.
Pot
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Storm

Hi Beans,

Tell me to shut up & go away if you like, this is only my opinion and obviously I don't know you or your husband personally.

It sounds to me like your issues are running a lot deeper than money - why are you taking the blame for a speeding ticket that you think he incurred? If you lose your driving license he's going to find out about this anyway. If you're really scared about telling him this stuff then there's something you need to address, and if you're worried for your own safety then the only advice is get out!

You obviously have a lot on your plate with your family (you mentioned trips to hospital and your son's disabled parking badge etc). Depending on what is causing these hospital trips are there any support groups around?

Do you have any other family around who can help out in any way, not necessarily with the money side but in terms of support and maybe babysitting so you can have a break?

I really hope everything gets sorted out for you, (((HUGS))) and I hope I haven't offended or upset you.

Storm x

themaccas

Hi BoT, I found your posts very moving and worrying at the same time. You really should NOT be taking up all the blame here, you OH has known about these bills and has left you to write and appeal/pay off/take the blame and it is not fair. I think you have been given some excellent advise
Hugs to you
x