big debts / big plans - would welcome some moral support

CAFCGirl

I'm not sure if there were some types somewhere Beans'

but i totalled that at 17957.27?

CAFCGirl

opps sorry posted at the same time

beans_on_toast_2

thanks for the tip indebt - will look the water companies address up now...

ok, this is going to be a bit confusing as I amnot including my husbands pay or tax credits etc as these all go directly to him and he pays the mortgage/saves them

so my incomings/outgoings are:

£380 pm form part time job (is currently set at this level as I am off sick waiting for an operation. my husband only thinks I am being paid £280, so that gives me £100 for debts)

£256.00 Child Benefit (husband obviously knows about this and I have to buy main weekly shop with this for seven of us

£200 pm housekeeping from husband (only started this last month as the struggle to feed us all on £64 a week almost led me to a nervous breakdown!)

OUTGOINGS:

well apart from food, clothing for kids, travel and petrol ( which take up all but the 'secret £100) I pay...

£60 per month to Equita bailiffs for the congestion charge

£5 per month to Carphone Warehouse

£10 to TescoTalk

Little_Miss_Winner

Yes it's. £17,836.27

Please don't get yourself all worked up, surely your husband must know about some of this?, What about the household related ones, like Council Tax, housing benefit, water bills etc......

Big hugs babe, you will get it sorted, keep posting, were here for you.
xx

CLAPTON

i make it 17836 too ..you can use the EDIT function to change your original posting if you wish

KatrinaC_2

beans_on_toast wrote:

OH MY GOD .....i total this at £2326.27

at this point I need even more encouragement to keep me going - is it possible to sort this all out?

Ok - Bad News. I get this to be over £17,000, £15,000 more than you thought it to be (sorry hunny!)

Good News. Everything is sortable one way or another and it will get easier once you have a plan of action. Personally I think that the hardest step is to come to terms with the fact that you have a problem and you did that by yourself - from here on in there are people willing and able to help you. :grouphug:

The next thing you need to do is to look at your other expenses and income so that we can see where you can make some savings. In addition to this it is important that you include the interest you are being charged and the minimum repayments you need to make each month.

Please also think about talking to your other half about this; maybe when you have plotted out your repayment schedule if nothing else. I know that this is your debts and I applaud you for having the strength and courage to face this on your own, but it is going to be easier on you if you do talk to him about it. There is a good chance that your husband is going to wonder *why* you are living on economy beans too!

Kat

homersimpson_3

first things first- in order to manage your money you need to know exactly what is going in and out. you need to post a full statement of affairs- all income, all outgoings (rent, mortgage, water, tv licence, gas, electricity, inusrance, food, clubs, etc), any savings and the name of co you owe money to, amount and annual percentage rate (apr). if you don't know (you should) look on credit card statement or phone co and ask.

some debts are regarded as 'priority debts' (i.e they are paid first)- this includes all the things which are essential to life (rent/mortgage because you need roof over head, food because you have to eat; water, gas, electricity etc). some bills must be paid because not doing so can result in a criminal offence- poll tax, tv licence etc.

have you contacted one of the free debt counselling agencies- cab, payplan, cccs etc.

HOUSING BENEFIT OVERPAYMENT £12801.64

why so much? how did overpayment arise? have you sought legal advice? have you appealed (if any grounds) and gone to tribunal/commissioners/courts etc (if it needed to go that far? )- this debt alone is the bulk of your total debt.

know you are all probably crying out "tell him!! he will understand" ... but he won't. I created these alone (through sheer stupidity) so I must resolve them alone ... that is, unless some of you lovely people are able to offer any advice and support.

Numerous threads on site saying other half doesn't know and can't tell him. are you 100% sure this will be outcome? have you been hiding letters and applying for credit etc in his name?

see martin's comments on being financially linked - how does your household organise its finances- your actions may have already affected other half.

nidje

Hi and welcome and well done for facing up to things.
There are many people on here far more experienced than me who will be able to give you some great advice.
I wondered if there was any possibility of doing a few extra hours once you've recovered from your op. Maybe you could sell any unwanted things on ebay/Amazon or a car boot?
Wish you well
N x

beans_on_toast_2

the thing is I am scared of my husband's response when we get a big bill (you have probably guessed he isnt the most approachable of people, he gets depressed and angry and takes things out on me) so I try to make everything seem ok, thinking I can sort it out or break it to him when he is in a better mood....(sounds stupid when i see it in writing - makes sense at the time!)

the housing benefit thing came about a few years ago when I wasn't honest with the benefit people when my husband started working. I kept the cash he gave me for rent and they unknowingly continued paying it with housing benefit. i used the money he gave me (nearly £55 a week) for you guessed it ... food!

i got in a lot of trouble for this and only confessed a year ago when I was in such a position that I had no choice. it went very badly, hence I cant bear to let him know anymore

i am not a bad person, just a mum trying to get by, scared of everything but determined to change. most of the debts are for things that should have been sorted out straight away or that, as a householder, my husband should have been aware of and paid

i dont think im making much sense - and i dont blame anyone if your sympathy has all but gone now

LJD1_2

I know it's difficult but i'd tell him. My mum is in her 70s and still lying about debt. Life is too short to live with this fear of him finding out. No lectures, but consider it for your own sanity.