big debts / big plans - would welcome some moral support

nidje

Another thing is the OS board.
They have great tips on there for feeding the family on a very tight budget and old style cleaning tips etc.
N x

beans_on_toast_2

Hi LJD1

i think i actually read the thread about your mum today and my heart went out to her. i thought at the time what a sad situation it is to have to carry a burden like that at 70, not even thinking that the way i am going that it could well be me too ...

thanks for the advice. good luck to you too x

beans_on_toast_2

would it help if i did an income/outgoings for all the finances in the household - or would that confuse things?

sorry to be a pain

Mrs_Sparkle

Big hugs and welcome to the board. There are a lot of us on here (myself included) with large debts and not much to show for them so you're NOT ALONE. Remember that we're always here for you.

How much are you spending on groceries a month? That's one of the most rewarding cutbacks you can make. It gives me so much pleasure to throw money at debts that I used to throw at Mr Tesco's profits.

LJD1_2

It's always worth doing your incomings and outgoings. You'll be amazed what the people on here can save you. Good luck with sorting things out xx

beans_on_toast_2

hi mrs sparkle. you sound lovely...

i have begun to really cut down - just dont know where im going wrong. for the last 3 weeks i have kept a diary detailing every penny i have spent.
i only got paid last friday and today have £1.56 left from £380.00 ????!!!

petrol is a big expenditure, plus the Equita payment. my husband expects me to pay for some bits and pieces, then obviously food ( my children are 17,16,15,11 and 10 so they eat lots!) and tonight I had to serve beans on toast.....

I dont get it! and i feel like crying.

homersimpson_3

£380 pm form part time job (is currently set at this level as I am off sick waiting for an operation. my husband only thinks I am being paid £280, so that gives me £100 for debts)

£256.00 Child Benefit (husband obviously knows about this and I have to buy main weekly shop with this for seven of us

£200 pm housekeeping from husband (only started this last month as the struggle to feed us all on £64 a week almost led me to a nervous breakdown!)

OUTGOINGS:

well apart from food, clothing for kids, travel and petrol ( which take up all but the 'secret £100) I pay...

£60 per month to Equita bailiffs for the congestion charge

£5 per month to Carphone Warehouse

£10 to TescoTalk

so income is 836 per month - (380 + 256 + 200)
outgoings:
75- (60 + 10 + 5) for debts mentioned
leaving 761 per month.

you need to break it down further- how much is spent on food, children's clothes, petrol, water, tv, mobile phone etc

the thing is I am scared of my husband's response when we get a big bill (you have probably guessed he isnt the most approachable of people, he gets depressed and angry and takes things out on me) so I try to make everything seem ok, thinking I can sort it out or break it to him when he is in a better mood....(sounds stupid when i see it in writing - makes sense at the time!)

you need to protect yourself and children- any chance other half could read your posting?

I dont blame anyone if your sympathy has all but gone now

it hasn't - only asked about overpayment because if you could reduce it say by appealing, could reduce your debt and money you pay towards overpayment could be targeted towards others so you pay them off more quicker.

Little_Miss_Winner

I kept the cash he gave me for rent and they unknowingly continued paying it with housing benefit. i used the money he gave me (nearly £55 a week) for you guessed it ... food!

i got in a lot of trouble for this and only confessed a year ago when I was in such a position that I had no choice. it went very badly, hence I cant bear to let him know anymore

You kept the £55 a week for food, to spend on 7 of you, and he went mad?:mad:

I think he needs to wake up and smell the coffee!

NO you are not a bad person!!!
You are simply trying to survive, and feed and cloth your children.........

You are a damn fine wife and mother, and you should be proud of yourself, i have 3 children, so hope you cope with 5 is beyond me.

Seems to be like your husband isn't aware of how lucky he is!.................:rolleyes:

Sorry if this all seems a little harsh, it's not meant to be..... These are all my opinions from reading between the lines, anyone who wants to slate me feel free! (runs and hids with arms over head:o )

beans_on_toast_2

thanks homer.

i have tried appealling about the housing benefit - but no luck. i am just grateful they are letting me pay it back at only £20 a month (havent done the maths - but that will take about 50 years to finish at that rate)

no,im very careful about posting and will only do so when OH is at work.

these are the household ins/outs

OH wages £1220
tax credits £1380
DLA £225


OUT:
mortgage £493
electric £25
gas £20
BT £11
Tiscali broadband and calls £40ish
Poll Tax £40
housing ben arrears £20
TV licence £9
Mortgage payment protection £19
hhome insurance £23.50
Union membership £9


mobile credit - we top up about £10 a month each, which I have to pay for

as you can see there is quite a surplus. my husband was brought up to be a saver (thank god one of us is careful with money) but I have no access to any of this (it is all in his name) - we plan to pay quite a lump off the mortgage at the end of the year

beans_on_toast_2

pot o gold you're right ... and i know im a mug. i have put up with this for so long --- but i feel to blame as my stupidity has got us into this situation

i do feel hard done by at times (its not just financial stresses) - he get depressed cos he thinks we are not saving/making enough money.

aaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry... i needed that