big debts / big plans - would welcome some moral support

Little_Miss_Winner

You scream all you want babe. (i got me cotton wool in my ears!):rotfl:

beans_on_toast_2

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thankyou

nidje

You go for it ... I always feel better for a good scream, it's not healthy holding it all in.
N x

homersimpson_3

BT £11, Tiscali broadband and calls £40ish

this could be subtantially reduced- see martin's article- surplus could be targeted towards debts.

Mortgage payment protection £19
hhome insurance £23.50

are they the cheapest possible- are you sure? have you shopped around?

mobile credit - we top up about £10 a month each, which I have to pay for

any way your £10 could be used to reduce debts. could £10 last you for several months. why is using mobile phone essential?

as you can see there is quite a surplus. my husband was brought up to be a saver (thank god one of us is careful with money) but I have no access to any of this (it is all in his name) - we plan to pay quite a lump off the mortgage at the end of the year

you use the words 'we plan' which suggests you have some say in how other half spends money or is this a figure of speech- any way husband would give you increase in housekeeping money?

beans_on_toast_2

outgoings used to be quite a bit more, had a look at cheap deals earlier in the year and changed phone, insurance deals etc (yes thats my responsibility too)...

mobiles are essentials as best and cheapest way to keep in touch with all five kids . 2 of the children are frequent hospital visitors 100 miles from home so I need this for those long motorway drives. i was on the 3 network and spending about £40 a month, until I moved to O2 a few months ago, so £10 seems cheap to me!

you're right - I say 'we' as although i have no say in finances, (for example can i have some money please) I have all the stress of finding deals and endlessly discussing the slow pace of our savings growth......

lynzpower

I justr wanted to say welcome, and stick around,

Love
lynz
x

southernscouser

Hey BOT! :hello:

OK this is my view on it. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Your husband is aware that you owe £12801.64 on housing benefit overpayments yet is willing to let you continue paying it off at £20 a month? (I'm not being judgemental by the way )

So you have roughly only £5k of debt he isn't aware of?

beans_on_toast_2

hi lynz & hi southernscouser,

yes he is aware that i owe this much - he blames me entirely (it was my fault though) and totally begrudges coughing up the £20 each month.

i pacify him by saying that they just might wipe it off if i continue paying regularly (another lie i know, but it smoothes troubled waters)

we have been together 20 years and i have had to lie about such silly things, some big, some tiny, just to keep the peace.

homersimpson_3

sorry I don't understand

therefore, only have a very small amount of money to use when haggling with debt companies as he simply cannot be aware of the debts

I know you are all probably crying out "tell him!! he will understand" ... but he won't. I created these alone (through sheer stupidity) so I must resolve them alone ... that is, unless some of you lovely people are able to offer any advice and support

and

yes he is aware that i owe this much - he blames me entirely (it was my fault though) and totally begrudges coughing up the £20 each month.

postings seem to conflict- why he doesn't know in first posting and in second posting he does know? what am I missing?

outgoings used to be quite a bit more, had a look at cheap deals earlier in the year and changed phone, insurance deals etc (yes thats my responsibility too)...

deals are constantly changing- talk talk only about £25 etc according to martin's article- does figure for tiscali include arrears etc?

KatrinaC_2

beans_on_toast wrote:

i have tried appealling about the housing benefit - but no luck. i am just grateful they are letting me pay it back at only £20 a month (havent done the maths - but that will take about 50 years to finish at that rate)

It could be worse - you could be asked to pay it back all in one go...

beans_on_toast wrote:

these are the household ins/outs

OH wages £1220
tax credits £1380
DLA £225
So your total income is £2825? Does this include the £638 you mentioned before? If not then you have £3463 coming in every month.

OUT:
mortgage £493
electric £25
gas £20
BT £11
Tiscali broadband and calls £40ishThis can be reduced
Poll Tax £40
housing ben arrears £20
TV licence £9
Mortgage payment protection £19
hhome insurance £23.50
Union membership £9

Including the payments you said before, your total outgongs sound like they should be about £1400 per month - is your husband really putting £2000 per month into the bank?


mobile credit - we top up about £10 a month each, which I have to pay for

as you can see there is quite a surplus. my husband was brought up to be a saver (thank god one of us is careful with money) but I have no access to any of this (it is all in his name) - we plan to pay quite a lump off the mortgage at the end of the year

Sweetheart, right now your finances are in such a mess that it's hard to work out what is going in, going out and who pays what. Tomorrow, can you sit down when your husband is out and post a full statement of affairs, listing where all of your money goes to, comes from and what you owe to whom? Southern Scouser has put a fantastic guide to how to compose a full statement of affairs as a "sticky" on the top of page one of the board. Once the regulars on here see that they can advise on how to cut back to the bare bones and possibly rase more cash to put towards your debts.

I'm particularly worried because you posted earlier that you owed money to the banks and the Council Tax people and yet you don't seem to be making any repayments. Fairly soon they will come knocking asking for their money and when they do your husband WILL find out - especially as the Council Tax is in his name too and he will be jointly liable for any court actions.

I think I now have a better grasp on *why* you don't want to talk to your husband about it, but the fact is that a lot of these debts are in joint names and as such they are really his problem too. I honestly don't know what to advise you to do about that, it's such a mess that I think you need some proper professional help from someone like the Consumer Credit Counselling Sevice (CCCS) to do with your debts and possibly about what would be your best step with the situation at home. In the mean time, PLEASE keep posting as there are plenty of fantastic people here who will give you as much moral support as you need.

:grouphug:

Kat