partner ill...need leave from work ?

stuckinmyflat

i know what you mean, i did mention earlier that this site is starting to get a really bad name on other sites, due to long standing members and their !!!!!!!!

surreysaver

Lets hope with all this stress your bosses are putting you under, they don't cause you to give any patients some wrong advice!

Oldernotwiser

stuckinmyflat wrote: »

and that was my original point, just because older recovered from her surgery with no help, doesn't mean that because my partners foot op will be the same. others have posted here that he will get over it in a few days...its only a foot op.....its just ridiculous. my point being none of you are orthopaedic surgeons therefore you don't know what your talking about in terms of his care.

I never said I " recovered with no help"! What I said was that, even after a major abdominal operation, you don't necessarily need someone at home all day. As long as the loo is withing hopping distance (urinary bottles are also a help) and there's books/TV a sandwich and painkillers left close to hand, what more do you need?

stuckinmyflat

older: you can tell me as many times as you like that he needs no help it still doesn't make it true. You made my point for me tho...."hopping distance" he will be doing no hopping for a long time, he cannot be left alone for more than roughly 2hrs (actual words from the consultant) as after his op he had to be held down from trying to get up and walk (mainly due to the heavy meds he is taking....and will still be taking for at least a week). Would you like a medal for being able to take care of yourself ?????????? you seem to want to make this point over and over, despite the fact that abdo op's and foot op's vary widely, which you have been told on numerous occasions, and which i have a lot of experience within my job.

thanks dark lady and surrey for the supportive words

Sambucus_Nigra

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I never said I " recovered with no help"! What I said was that, even after a major abdominal operation, you don't necessarily need someone at home all day. As long as the loo is withing hopping distance (urinary bottles are also a help) and there's books/TV a sandwich and painkillers left close to hand, what more do you need?

No hopping allowed I believe!

I think that's pretty much the point of the whole thread!

Oldernotwiser

stuckinmyflat wrote: »

older: you can tell me as many times as you like that he needs no help it still doesn't make it true. You made my point for me tho...."hopping distance" he will be doing no hopping for a long time, he cannot be left alone for more than roughly 2hrs (actual words from the consultant) as after his op he had to be held down from trying to get up and walk (mainly due to the heavy meds he is taking....and will still be taking for at least a week). Would you like a medal for being able to take care of yourself ?????????? you seem to want to make this point over and over, despite the fact that abdo op's and foot op's vary widely, which you have been told on numerous occasions, and which i have a lot of experience within my job.

thanks dark lady and surrey for the supportive words

I was simply pointing out that people don't necessarily need someone there all the time after an operation, not that I am in any way superhuman!

If you were prepared to take unpaid leave, why don't you use the money that you will actually be earning to pay someone to come in and look after your partner. Problem solved!

stuckinmyflat

jesus wept, how much do you think earn ?

p.s i dont have time to find a good carer, certainly not going to leave him in the care of someone i don't trust

alice011178

Hi stuck...

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Never mind what other people say, individual circumstances are different and I can totally understand why you would want to be at home for a day or two after he comes out of hospital. I might have missed this whilst reading through the conversation, but why wouldn't they let you take annual leave? Have you got no days left, or is it a staffing problem? Presumably if your mum has been allowed to take AL from the same office it can't be to do with a lack of staff? Why don't you speak to his consultant at the hospital - they might be willing to write a letter for your work saying that he shouldn't be left alone for more than 2 hours. This might persuade your bosses that you need a couple of days off and then you can work something out. I guess you'll just have to see how the op goes and how he feels. You never know, he might feel much better than he did last time. My day has had 2 hip replacements in the last five years. The first was a nightmare: he was in agony for months and found it very difficult to use the bathroom etc. The second op was a complete contrast and he was up a ladder watering his hanging baskets within 4 weeks of leaving hospital!

The other factor is the worry and stress experienced by you. I understand the argument that you have no 'right' to leave. You are, however, likely to be very worried and stressed about your OH whilst you are at work. Are you likely to give 100% to your job (which also sounds fairly full-on and high stress) whilst you are worried about how things are at home? It seems that your managers are forgetting this aspect of things. You aren't likely to be very productive or focussed if you have your mind entirely on other things.

I really hope that things go well for your OH.

stuckinmyflat

cheers alice, my mother is actually a manager in another health board thats why she was able to take the time off. the reason i was given was due to staffing requirements. but theres not much i can do now, thanks for the support

Oldernotwiser

stuckinmyflat wrote: »

jesus wept, how much do you think earn ?

p.s i dont have time to find a good carer, certainly not going to leave him in the care of someone i don't trust

How much do you think a carer is paid? How much skill does it need to get him to the toilet and see he gets his meds on time?

So much for offering a reasonable solution!