partner ill...need leave from work ?

stuckinmyflat

skill??? have you seen the state of care homes? not as easy as opening the yellow pages.

sorry not a reasonable solution

dark_lady

Older not wiser certainly has an appropriate username. A proffesional carer can charge anywhere between £9 and £15 an hour.
I have been a member of Carers UK for two years if anyone is wondering where i got my information from!

stuckinmyflat

older is clearly a women of a certain age who thinks she's right all the time and never gives an inch, but clearly doesn't get that her opinion really means nothing to my thread as she jumps on an idea and just runs and runs with it. No use in trying to tell her otherwise dark lady, as you can see from this thread ( and my last thread where she proceeded to give me !!!! about looking for graduating funding, and the use of a student loan to pay mortgage?????).

p.s im guessing those figures that you are quoting are probably standard and would be higher for anything out with 9-5pm

dark_lady

Oh yes those are only the standard figures

stuckinmyflat

thats what i thought, cheers dark lady :beer:

Oldernotwiser

Although I'm sure that you don't earn £9-15 per hour, presumably you would earn at least £200 for a full week's work. This would surely pay for a carer to come in for a couple of hours a day, whilst you are at work? I'm sorry that you don't see this suggestion as helpful, just because it isn't the answer you want.

I will ignore your foolish, ageist remarks and remind you that (under your previous AE) you had a similar response from most people on the Benefits Board when you posted a comparable query some time ago. Some of us are honest enough to let our previous remarks stand and do not hide under the cover of an AE.

stuckinmyflat

has nothing to do with "not being the answer i want" its just not a viable route, and you know that.

emsywoo123

OP, I think that alot of the resistance you have met on here has been due to the attitude you have displayed in your posts.

People have tried to post appropriate alternatives, because you were, quite simply, not entitled to the time off.

You come across as angry and dismissive of anyone that does not agree with you?

stuckinmyflat

ofcourse ive been totally unreasonable by wanting a few days off work to care for my partner. i have clearly stated that my mother has taken the annual leave to care for him, so i took on board the idea that someone else would have to do it.

However what really does anger me is the fact that certain ppl here have decided that they know best in terms of what after care he needs and how serious the op and his mobility issues are. A point which i have reiterated over and over... this is NOT a minor foot surgery and my partner is BED BOUND, and cant just HOP around our 2nd floor flat to the kitchen or toilet, therefore solutions put forth by people are not viable in this situation. However that is not taken into consideration when offering solutions, despite the amount of times ive tried to make this issue clear

So lets just recap here emsy: Heres a list of alternatives provided in this thread

SarEl:Surely the sensible thing would be to take a weeks leave if your partner needs you, and if you get something of it back then fine, if not - well that's life. I presume that it isn't your intention to dump a tray of sandwiches on your partner after three days and go back to work because the employer won't pay you? no it is not, ive tried for paid/unpaid/shifts swap any leave employer not willing to be flexible

Emmzi :a) leave him in hospital Simply not enough beds
b) pay for a carer to come in and look after him will not leave him in the care of someone i dont know, lots of very untrained carers out there (also some great ones) dont have time to interview them
c) get a friend or relative to come in Have had to have my mother take a/l
SarEl: Did you ask for the leave in enough time? gave them 2months notice that surgery would be around this time, given date for surgery 1 week before notified employer straight away

Emmzi: On a practical level, what does he actually need? Something to urinate into and a small pile of sandwiches to tide him over until you get back? more? what are your specific concerns, and can they be addressed by ensuring he has suppplies, and a mobile phone in his pocket? He is bed bound unable to go to toilet, unable to get food or medication himself, and is high as a kite due to morphine so cant be left alone for extended periods of time

Bendix: For goodness sake, the guy is having an operation on his foot, not his heart. How much care does he need? Painkillers, crutches - what more is there? see above

Bendix; I'd resign if I were you. The NHS has too many staff doing too little, anyway. well what can you say, im being totally unreasonable by trying to keep my job

Dkls: most surgical procedures, recovery times vary enormously after surgery and you have limited knowledge of how you are going to be effected. OH had the same surgery on other foot/leg in march have real knowledge of recovery time and needs


PLEASE TELL ME WHERE IM BEING UNREASONABLE ?????????

laurz121

stuckinmyflat wrote: »

ofcourse ive been totally unreasonable by wanting a few days of work to care for my partner. i have clearly stated that my mother has taken the annual leave to care for him, so i took on board the idea that someone else would have to do it.

However what really does anger me is the fact that certain ppl here have decided that they know best in terms of what after care he needs and how serious the op and his mobility issues are. A point which i have reiterated over and over... this is NOT a minor foot surgery and my partner is BED BOUND, and cant just HOP around our 2nd floor flat to the kitchen or toilet, therefore solutions put forth by people are not viable in this situation. However that is not taken into consideration when offering solutions, despite the amount of times ive tried to make this issue clear

You have mentioned '2nd floor flat' in order to try to prove just how inaccessible your flat is to a person with a foot injury but all you have done is shot yourself in the foot (oh the irony). It doesn't make any difference at all whether your flat is 2nd floor, ground floor or on the 82nd floor of a sky scraper because once in the flat it is a flat and as such contains just the one level. For all intents an purposes it may as well be a bungalow. With this comment you have done the opposite of what you intended and have made your home seem more accessible than I previously thought. I had images of your partner struggling to get downstairs to the kitchen, upstairs to the toilet etc and in reality you live in a flat. But anyway that isn't really the important thing about this thread is it so moving on.

I think you have to look at this from the employers point of view and try to understand the difficulties that they have. You might have told them months ago that an operation was going to happen at some point but really that wont help them much at all unless you were quite specific about when. In reality you only gave them a few days notice due to no fault of your own but there may quite simply be too many people on holiday/sick for them to grant you this holiday at such short notice. It isn't good for you but what is the alternative for them? There has to be a cut off point of an absolute minimum amount of staff allowed to be at work and it appears you being off would take them past that point.

You said that you told them of 'rough dates' a few months ago, just how rough were these dates? Was it a case of 'I will need some time off later in the year', 'I'll need some time off in September or October' or 'i'll need some time off, most likely around the beginning of September but i'm not 100% sure yet'? How specific you were would make a big difference to your employer being able to plan anything.

You seem to have got things sorted out now with your parents coming to stay so that's good but perhaps you could use this situation to find out a little more about your holiday policy and see if any changes could be suggested to help out in the future.