Help please

northernrocknufc

The passed 11 years of my life has been a complete lie and now i need some help.

My partner of 11 years have left me and our daughter 4 weeks ago and moved in with someone else. Although this came has a huge shock and its been hard ive managed to carry on with things the best way i can.

After having no contact with him from the day he left i was shocked to see a message left from him on my MSN.

According to him he has never worked the whole time we lived together and he is on incapicity benefit receiving housing and council tax benefit. How would i not know? I washed his clothes, we left for work together? He said when we moved into our current home he has never put me on the tennacy aggreement, just himself and our daughter. The house is in his name and he wants me out by Tuesday. I cant get hold of any one from the housing association to see if this is correct and im so frightened incase they make us homeless and im worried about benefit fraud incase they think i knew all about it.

The other problem im having is over the car. When we bought a new car 4 years ago i hadnt passed my driving test and my dad registered the car in his name as he would be learning me to drive in it. The finance payment came out of my partners bank as all the household bills did. Now he has stopped the direct debit for the car and the finance company wont allow any payment from anyone else without partners say so. When he left me he took the log book with him and now he has said he has transfered the log book into his name without my dads permission. Can he do this?

My life is so upside down and dont know where to go for help. He wont answer my phone calls and like is said the only contact i have from him is offline messages through MSN.

belfastgirl23

Didn't want to read and run but I've got no experience here. I'm wondering whether it might be worht posting the housing part of your query on the house buying renting and selling board?

Going on gut the car thing doesn't make much sense to me. If the car was bought in your dad's name then surely your partner can't just transfer it?

Sounds to me like you need to find a solicitor. Many will do a free 30 minute consultation if you give a few a call you should find one.

But in the meantime, good luck, hard to see at the minute but you are definitely better off without him!

LJM

it all sounds very odd if you ask me i feel for you as he doesnt sound like a very nice fella, how old is your daughter ? i dont think he can make you leave if he has a child to support in the household,and about the car i dont deal with things like this but to me i wouldnt have thought he could do this without your dads say so

Tigsteroonie

I wish I had some practical advice for you. Given that the car was registered in your Dad's name (and presumably your Dad is on your side), would he consider going to the Police and reporting it as stolen? As in "taken without consent" - presumably he hasn't given his consent for his ex-SIL to take the car away with him following the split.

northernrocknufc wrote: »

According to him he has never worked the whole time we lived together and he is on incapicity benefit receiving housing and council tax benefit. How would i not know? I washed his clothes, we left for work together?

I find this fascinating. Where did he go during the daytime, did he sneak back in or did he go to the other person's house? Did he control the finances to such an extent that you never saw wage slips or bank statements? Not stuff that you really need to worry about now, obviously, just expressing my curiosity!

northernrocknufc

Thanks for replying. Our daughter is 8 years old.

He controlled everything financially. I handed the money over and he paid all the bills. I did see bank statements and credit card statements come through the post but he was a self employed paint and decorator so there was always money coming in and out of his bank account but all the other bills were either pre pay cards or direct debits.

On a morning we would drop daughter of at breakfast club, he would drop me off at work then i thought he was off to work. He would collect daughter from after school club then pick me up from work.

northernrocknufc

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

I wish I had some practical advice for you. Given that the car was registered in your Dad's name (and presumably your Dad is on your side), would he consider going to the Police and reporting it as stolen? As in "taken without consent" - presumably he hasn't given his consent for his ex-SIL to take the car away with him following the split.


I still have the car but he said he has changed the log book over to his name. He also has a key for it. He wants me to pay him £3000 for the car so i can keep it or hand the car over to him.

nottslass_2

northernrocknufc wrote: »

The passed 11 years of my life has been a complete lie and now i need some help.

My partner of 11 years have left me and our daughter 4 weeks ago and moved in with someone else. Although this came has a huge shock and its been hard ive managed to carry on with things the best way i can.

After having no contact with him from the day he left i was shocked to see a message left from him on my MSN.

According to him he has never worked the whole time we lived together and he is on incapicity benefit receiving housing and council tax benefit. How would i not know? I washed his clothes, we left for work together? He said when we moved into our current home he has never put me on the tennacy aggreement, just himself and our daughter. The house is in his name and he wants me out by Tuesday. I cant get hold of any one from the housing association to see if this is correct and im so frightened incase they make us homeless and im worried about benefit fraud incase they think i knew all about it.

The other problem im having is over the car. When we bought a new car 4 years ago i hadnt passed my driving test and my dad registered the car in his name as he would be learning me to drive in it. The finance payment came out of my partners bank as all the household bills did. Now he has stopped the direct debit for the car and the finance company wont allow any payment from anyone else without partners say so. When he left me he took the log book with him and now he has said he has transfered the log book into his name without my dads permission. Can he do this?

My life is so upside down and dont know where to go for help. He wont answer my phone calls and like is said the only contact i have from him is offline messages through MSN.

It all sounds very odd to me.

How could he have put an 8 year old on a tenancy agreement ?

Tigsteroonie

northernrocknufc wrote: »

I still have the car but he said he has changed the log book over to his name. He also has a key for it. He wants me to pay him £3000 for the car so i can keep it or hand the car over to him.

Facetious suggestion ....

Do you have a spare key? Hide the car (or, if you're still only learning, get someone to hide it for you) I think he may legally be the owner, but cannot transfer the Registered Keeper (V5 form) without your Dad's signature.

northernrocknufc

nottslass wrote: »

It all sounds very odd to me.

How could he have put an 8 year old on a tenancy agreement ?

I only know what he is telling me. I cant get hold of anyone from the housing association to clarify this for me but im worried incase it is true and i am made homeless.

northernrocknufc

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Facetious suggestion ....

Do you have a spare key? Hide the car (or, if you're still only learning, get someone to hide it for you) I think he may legally be the owner, but cannot transfer the Registered Keeper (V5 form) without your Dad's signature.

The car has gone into someones garage out of the way. On Friday my dad phoned the DVLA and reported the log book as stolen and paid for a new 1. On Friday my dad was still the registered keeper when he spoke to the DVLA.

Maybe everthing he is telling me is lies so i hand the car over to him.

January20

This is very bizarre (his attitude I mean) and very complicated. One question though: Where are your wages paid? Can he have access to those or not?

What about Shelter? I don't know if they are open this weekend but you could give them a call and see if they can give you some advice. http://england.shelter.org.uk/

ETA: make sure you keep a copy of all the messages he sends you - you may need them as proof in future for instance him claiming he never worked but was on benefits.