Is this miserly or just moneysaving?

[Deleted User]

As a thought, the supermarkets do lots of own brands of fizz for about 30-50p for 2 litres, i agree its not the same as opening a can, but its fizz. We drink a lot of water but do have squash, sometimes i drink squash with value fizzy water (10p for 2litres) to jazz it up a bit, a few ice cubes and its quite refreshing.

Just a thought.

jojostevie_123

What do you buy for your weekly shop? Or how much do you have left after buying nappies and formula? Get own brand as much as you can and try to save some money for the essentials such as bras and shoes.

As for the radio I agree with other posters try freecycle and gumtree. You can also get people giving away clothes as long as their in good condition it would be good.

Charlies_Mummy

jojostevie_123 wrote: »

What do you buy for your weekly shop? Or how much do you have left after buying nappies and formula? Get own brand as much as you can and try to save some money for the essentials such as bras and shoes.

As for the radio I agree with other posters try freecycle and gumtree. You can also get people giving away clothes as long as their in good condition it would be good.

Jojostevie has a very good point about checking out Freecycle for clothes. Boot sales are also worth a look, I have had so many bargains from them, many brand new still with tags on for 50p or £1. For bras, Tesco is good; I got some really nice t-shirt bras in their sale recently for £2.50 each, and even at full price they don't cost much.

Just_Plain_Jane

Charlies_Mummy, I think what I said is constructive if it brings the thread back on topic

1sttimer_2

Just picked up on this thread - and apologies to all who have posted, i've not read every reply - but going to put my 10penneth in!

I feel for you - when my girls were little I was a SAHM too. We had recently moved to a larger (more expensive) house when I found out I was pregnant (unplanned) and my OH had just lost his job. I took ML and my OH worked it out that if I returned to work for 6 months our mortgage would continue be paid for the time off I had, then I could decide to stay, leave or work PT. After the 6 months I left but it was very hard going money wise as althogh OH had a new job, the money wasn't as good. I had to learn the meaning of 'cutting the cloth according to our means'. I didn't buy any clothes at all formyself for absolutely ages (and I mean ages) but just wore clothes I had in my wardrobe (wearing 'poshish' clothes to M&T got me funny looks LOL) and shopping for cheaper cuts of meat/fish etc. and learning how to cook them!

My OH still had his hobbies (sport) whereas I didn't and we only ever went out on our birthdays and anniversary (still same now!). We worked through it and if we went on holiday it was camping as it was cheap. It all worked out in the end. Baby 2 was same sex, so hand me downs were all she wore - unless she got clothes as gifts! Disposable nappies were just becoming available (at a cost) so that was a saving (of sorts!).

We had no bed rails, or fizzy pop, but we did have a house radio. You cope the best you can. I didn't socialise out with friends, but we took it in turns to go to each others houses or met in the park with a picnic. Cheap, but still enjoyable.

It wasn't a case of 'he earns the money so he says what goes' but more of a 'this is what we have, lets spend it wisely'.

Now I'm way older (and a bit wiser), I'm grateful that we knew how to live on little as we've been able to save for a rainy day and still don't spend a lot on things others might call essentials I get most of our clothes at Charity shops or in sales and all my shoes in sales but I do buy new underwear when necessary. As long as I'm clean, neat and tidy, I'm happy.

My children on the otherhand, both prefer to spend when they want on what they want, (most probably because of how OH wouldn't help them at uni loans etc. so they knew how to cope), but neither are in debt and know they could live on the cheap if necessary.

Shoes are needed and sales are on, so have a look for a bargain and get the best you can as it will work out cheaper in the end. Same with underwear.

Good luck Lala, I hope you will find a way through this, you can make changes and in the long run, it will hopefully work out right for you.

Kt8

its miserly

life is for living and enjoying! i seriously cannot believe in this day and age people have 1 pair of shoes?! with holes in?!

have a word with him ! some of the comments here..i mean i know this is money saving but people go to some extremes

Bitsy_Beans

aliasojo wrote: »

Not sure that's either fair or accurate ONW. The OP has concerns about the situation and has cited a few examples to show what she means. I don't really think you can take from that, that she is being a bit unco-operative.

I'm not convinced the finances are that tight that basics such as a bra or shoes or even little extras couldn't be accommodated. If the husband can find the cash for concert ticket AND 'tell' the OP she can have the equivalent amount for herself to spend, then I'm wondering if only part of this is about being sensible with money and the rest is simply because he's only accepting of money being spent on things he deems important.

I have a friend who's husband is the same. He nags and moans at her about her spending (which isn't willy nilly - always in the sales, never full price clothes for the kids etc) and yet when he decided he needed a holiday could then stump up the money to go to Disneyland in Florida :eek:

Now I consider myself to be a tightwad but not at the expense of other people. Large purchases are dicussed between me and H and where ever possible the cheapest or best deal is found. My H is the main breadwinner but the money it for the family.
I feel that shoes and decent fitting bra's are a necessity and not a "want". Likewise whilst a bed rail can be substituted for something else but if the OP doesnt have a spare mattress or extra duvets for padding then the point is moot anyway - I doubt the OP's husband would be letting her buy those things instead.
Clearly when the husband decides there is something he deems worthwhile the money is available to spend (the concert tickets for example) so I do think he's being unfair in his partnership with the OP. Looking after the family finances should be a joint venture and one where each party has an equal say - this isn't the case with the OP and that's something I would want to rectify.

Oh and I am not sure that the husband is saving money be restricting journey lengths with the car. Cold engines are more inefficient until they reach normal temp so actually the longer the drive the more efficient the car

DKLS

He sounds like a right tight sod.

By shopping cleverly you can get what you need/want with minimal expense. Being the price of something is not knowing the value of something.

What shocks me the most is one pair of holey shoes, get some bought, My wife picked up a cracking pair for £4 from TK Maxx a few weeks ago, although she does have well over 100 pairs of shoes.

red_devil

havent read all the posts but you need a bra and make sure you have a proper fitting too. Its important.

dark_lady

Hi I felt i had to join this site to conribute to this thread.One poster suggested to the OP to get a job.Well how can she attend a job interview in her only pair of holey shoes.The interviewer would think she didnt care.I once dated a man like the OPs husband.
1 My ex would time me in the shower only allowing me THREE MINUTES maximum (worried about his water meter)
2 i was round his late one night and when it came for time to take me home we found his sisters car which he had borrowed had been broken into,drivers window smashed glass everywhere both big shards and very small ones.I couldnt believe what he then said.
"well it will be a bit cold but i will brush the glass of the seats and drive you home" He actually expected me to risk sitting on broken glass rather than fork out for a taxi:eek:he insisted he had no money i only had 10 pounds to my name until payday. It wasnt until we went to the cashpoint i found out he had 700 pounds and it was only 4 days till his next payday.He begrudgingly lent me 30 pounds for a taxi after i phoned the cab company and got an exact quote from them and yes i paid him back.No way could we drive around in car with a smashed window.Police might have thinked my ex was the one who pinched it and it would have caused complications getting the crime number which you need for the insurance payout.Oh and it was November so it was cold
He refused to by a present for his brothers 40th not even a cheap bottle of plonk even though i offered to go halves yet he insisted on going to the party
He saw a duvet set in my catologue that he fancied so he asked me to order it and he would pay me back when it was delivered.
On the day it came i met him for dinner and took the duvet set with me and instinct told me to take the invoice as well.I gave him the set we went and sat down and i asked him for the money so i could pay off the invoice.Every time i asked he kept changing the subject and this went on for a good hour and a half.In the end i had to put the invoice in his lap.
The straw that broke the camels back in the end?He invited (insisted) that i pop round three days before Christmas and didnt tell me he had a really bad tummy bug and then he CRAP**D the bed I KID YOU NOT.He said he thought it was safe enough to try and fart HIS WORDS:eek: I went down with said bug on the Boxing Day.I was absolutely furious.I ended the relationship on New Years Eve.
Incidentally he would NEVER buy groceries at all unless he knew i was coming over 1 packet of pasta 1packet of pasta sauce 1 bottle of diet coke and garlic bread.One time i was too ill to go over and he had a right go at me cos he had already bought this stuff. He did deliveries for an Indian takeaway five nights a week and they gave him a free meal to take home every night.When i pointed out this was bad for his health he just said "Its free.
In the summertime i used to buy ice cream and leave it in his freezer.I gave up on this after a while as he would just let the electric run out and the ice cream would melt. One time i was getting out of the shower at his one NIGHT and the electric just went off and i nearly slipped.He would only get a tenner out of the cashpoint at a time but then would get the car out to take the five minute drive to the cashpoint every time he needed more
By the way this was a man in his early fifties.
There was also a time that he refused to go out and buy more toilet roll when he once ran out when i was over there and told me to take my Imodium so i woudnt need to go.(i suffer from IBS) I sincerly hope that no woman ever has children with my ex.It would be a pass port to poverty. I will NEVER tolerate a tightwad again!