Help Please - Ex partner slipping under the radar again!!!

jamespir

why dont you spend more time with your kids thatn worrying about whether hes gonna pay or not

DUTR

Soubrette wrote: »

No not at all

I thought originally you were saying that DUTR was false which I agree with - but then you were saying you weren't saying that, which was fine, so I was saying(as I'd obviously misunderstood), don't take my word for it, just read his posts and make up your own mind.

Don't tell anyone but I don't even mind if you don't agree with me

The only thing I mind is when people asking for help are belittled and have their motives questioned in a deliberately cruel way when there is no need for this kind of petty meanness.

It seems you think I am false and anyone that disagrees with you is a troll or should be added to an ignore list. (It's Soubrette's way or the highway?)
Thankfully the world is full of people that are different from You or I.
There are PWcs struggling to get contribution, just as there are NRPs struggling to make a contribution, there are NRPs that will go to great lengths to pay as little as possible just as there are PWCs that will go to great lengths to get as much as possible.
Surprised so few have noticed that

Loopy_Girl

Being a parent is not just about financial contribution.

Surprised so few have noticed that

And to coin one of your phrases DUTR, "it's not against the law" to try and claim CS so not quite sure why you answered the OP with a post that didn't have no help but was in fact, quite ugly.

I notice you get very defensive on these kind of threads and I do wonder whether it's because you realise that you doing the same to another child.

DUTR

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Being a parent is not just about financial contribution.

Surprised so few have noticed that

And to coin one of your phrases DUTR, "it's not against the law" to try and claim CS so not quite sure why you answered the OP with a post that didn't have no help but was in fact, quite ugly.

I notice you get very defensive on these kind of threads and I do wonder whether it's because you realise that you doing the same to another child.

Aye, but you and others are wise enough to realise that not everyone is aspiring to be the best possible parent ever to walk the planet.
And most if not everyone here will not be, as it is not documented what makes the best parent, it is all based on opinion and perception.
I would have to check back on the thread, I'm sure I did not say the OP should not claim (although it does not seem like in the near future he will be in a comfortable position to contribute)

Of course I have to be defensive, if there is an onslaught of attack, what do you expect?

15% net is 15% net

Loopy_Girl

But you initiated the theme of the thread by the first post that you posted in answer - do you really think that was a suitable response?

Was there any need?

You know the effect your posts have on people particulalry when you have the icon after telling (proudly?) that you pay and that's it. In a forum full of people desperate to do the best for their child (PWC and NRP alike), is it really appropriate? Or needed for that matter?

Yes we all know you got trapped into fatherhood and we all know you do your bit but why the constant need to make people feel bad for claiming CS? We all know kids won't die from hunger these days but 'it's not against the law' to pursue a claim so I'm unsure as to the consant picking at people.

Maybe you are reflecting your bitterness at being trapped and having to hand over 15% but it's pretty unpalatable to read.

Re-read Lou Lou's posts. You say you can't change her past and feel sorry for her and yet you are doing the same to your daughter! You are constantly contradicting yourself on the thread and in doing so have made a new poster very upset when there was no need for it.

Loopy_Girl

DUTR wrote: »

Yes it is up to both parents to support a child and not just financially.

Good to see you admit it.

Maybe you could stop being so troll like when you gleefully tell people that you choose to cut your child out your life.

DUTR

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

But you initiated the theme of the thread by the first post that you posted in answer - do you really think that was a suitable response?

Was there any need?

You know the effect your posts have on people particulalry when you have the icon after telling (proudly?) that you pay and that's it. In a forum full of people desperate to do the best for their child (PWC and NRP alike), is it really appropriate? Or needed for that matter?

Yes we all know you got trapped into fatherhood and we all know you do your bit but why the constant need to make people feel bad for claiming CS? We all know kids won't die from hunger these days but 'it's not against the law' to pursue a claim so I'm unsure as to the consant picking at people.

Maybe you are reflecting your bitterness at being trapped and having to hand over 15% but it's pretty unpalatable to read.

Re-read Lou Lou's posts. You say you can't change her past and feel sorry for her and yet you are doing the same to your daughter! You are constantly contradicting yourself on the thread and in doing so have made a new poster very upset when there was no need for it.

If you challenged every post in these threads on the forum in a similar way, then yes you would have a case to answer.
What is unrealistic about the original reply?
Are you saying that because plenty have agreed how terrible the ex is, that all of a sudden he is going to pay up and regularly?
maybe this maybe that?? I'm sure if I felt trapped as you put it, then I would be trying all the tricks to avoid and delay contributing.
Why are you adding words, I'm sure Lou does not need anyone's pity.
If you read (which I'm sure you have) the other posts in this thread, I have said I cannot see one good reason why I should, bearing in mind I'm not aiming for parent of the year.
There have been posts from grown up children who have not had a parent present regularly, so what is the right thing to tell them? That the father will regret his actions and all will come good? (as that is what happens often)

The MSE CSA forum is far detached from practical reality, but the likes of the 'gang' can post the pipe dream.
It is up to the reader to take away what tips or hints they find on here.
Anyway if you look at the original reply, folk can take from it, that either way the Op has a long hard battle on her hands and as other PWCs have posted, it may never get resolved whilst the children qualify

DUTR

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Good to see you admit it.

Maybe you could stop being so troll like when you gleefully tell people that you choose to cut your child out your life.

It seems what hurts you most is that the PWC in my case didn't get the choice to do so?

Loopy_Girl

DUTR wrote: »

It seems what hurts you most is that the PWC in my case didn't get the choice to do so?

I'm sorry but I don't know what you mean by that.

What I find sad (hurts? eh? catch yourself on...) is that there is a little person (like many many others) who's Dad chooses not to have anything to do with them.

But what makes you particularly loathesome is that you are proud of this and tell people at every opportunity. I would have thought that would have been an embarrasing thing in life and not something to tell all and sundry.

Loopy_Girl

DUTR wrote: »

If you challenged every post in these threads on the forum in a similar way, then yes you would have a case to answer.
What is unrealistic about the original reply?
Are you saying that because plenty have agreed how terrible the ex is, that all of a sudden he is going to pay up and regularly?
maybe this maybe that?? I'm sure if I felt trapped as you put it, then I would be trying all the tricks to avoid and delay contributing.
Why are you adding words, I'm sure Lou does not need anyone's pity.
If you read (which I'm sure you have) the other posts in this thread, I have said I cannot see one good reason why I should, bearing in mind I'm not aiming for parent of the year.
There have been posts from grown up children who have not had a parent present regularly, so what is the right thing to tell them? That the father will regret his actions and all will come good? (as that is what happens often)

The MSE CSA forum is far detached from practical reality, but the likes of the 'gang' can post the pipe dream.
It is up to the reader to take away what tips or hints they find on here.
Anyway if you look at the original reply, folk can take from it, that either way the Op has a long hard battle on her hands and as other PWCs have posted, it may never get resolved whilst the children qualify

You know fine well that I am talking about your parting comment. No need.

Sometimes claiming CS is not always a case of financial gain.