Help Please - Ex partner slipping under the radar again!!!

boho1980

My ex partner has constantly job hopped to avoid paying csa for our children, he owes back pay of almost £900, he went unemployed for about 2 years and i was only getting given £5 per week towards our 3 children, none of which was any contribution towards the £900 back pay.

He has now been working for the past 3 months, avoiding the calls from the csa...again!!! He is also living above the employer, a pub!!! The csa have tried to contact the employer but as the business is actually an extremly dodgy establishment they have also been avoiding the contact!!! :mad:

The csa have now said the next action would be criminal compliance for not providing the information needed and that the employer and my ex-partner will be notified of the consequences of this. Now today i have been told that my ex-partner has put a status up on his facebook account saying he no longer works or lives there anymore!! Which i find HIGHLY unlikely and am 99.9% sure this is just a ploy to shake the csa off, as i was with him for over 7 years and know the kind of things he is capable of!! I am worried as I am thinking it is going to be pretty obvious to anyone that he is still working there, if he is, as it is a bar so he would be there behind the bar for anyone to see. Therefore they must have something cooked up to make it seem like he isnt working there!!! Can anyone give me any advise on any loopholes they may be exploiting or what the csa can actually do to prove that he still actually is working there?? Just anything would do cos like i say I am 99.9% sure he is still working there!!!

Help please???

DanE2010

excuse me?! you can understand why he chooses not to financially support his kids? How can you condone that? Why waste your time on here if you have nothing contsructive to say? This thread is for advice not for your opinion.

boho1980

I dont mean to be rude but that really is a ridiculous comment!!! I struggle enough to support my family and I am not the type to marry someone for money!!! My ex partner was a violent man who ripped me off and left me with so much debt when I finally kicked him out!!! When we met i was due to start a university course and he pestered me and perstered me for children so i stupidly had children with him!!! Although i am happy i have my beautiful babies now!! Why should i be left struggling to singlehandedly financially support my 3 children while he does nothing???

Also there was a point in the relationship whereby i wanted to leave the relationship and he would not leave our home, so i did and left our child at that point as we only had one, in his care for 6 months while i tried to find somewhere else to live and get my child back, during that time i paid regulalry for my child, visited every weekend and cleaned the entire house and cooked meals to go in the freezer to make sure my child was well fed and took out a contract phone for my ex partner to use which i paid for just to make sure he could contact me or anyone else incase of emergencies!! All this was to a man i despised just to make sure my child was ok!!

You understand why he's doing it??? Then unfortunalty your mind works in a way fortunately mine doesnt!! Now if you dont mind could you leave anymore comments on here to someone who actually wants to give proper advise not just leave unhealthy comments. Thank you!!!

DanE2010

well just looked at some of the other threads he has written on - mostly women asking for help/advice in regards to CSA, looks like the resident trouble maker and sounds a little bitter to be honest, very sad.

PlayingHardball

DUTR wrote: »

Whilst I don't agree with what he is doing I can understand why he is doing it. Whatever tips come , you will have a long hard battle to get the money. You could try and meet someone who is loaded and can support you and your family.

What??????????????? Are you drinking?

PlayingHardball

DanE2010 wrote: »

well just looked at some of the other threads he has written on - mostly women asking for help/advice in regards to CSA, looks like the resident trouble maker and sounds a little bitter to be honest, very sad.

VERY SAD! Think we all can agree on that!

DanE2010

Indeed! :T

csm_2

Im sorry I dont have any advice to give, but I hope you manage to get this sorted out really soon for your children's sake. Alot of men out there and probably women to seem to ignore the fact that they are still financially responsible for their own children still when a relationship breaks down. Utter selfish on his part, they should be number 1 in his life always!

boho1980

Exactly.....he doesn't even seem to want to see them either.....it's like they dont exist to him!!!

DUTR

DanE2010 wrote: »

excuse me?! you can understand why he chooses not to financially support his kids? How can you condone that? Why waste your time on here if you have nothing contsructive to say? This thread is for advice not for your opinion.

And you advice to the OP is?

DUTR

DanE2010 wrote: »

well just looked at some of the other threads he has written on - mostly women asking for help/advice in regards to CSA, looks like the resident trouble maker and sounds a little bitter to be honest, very sad.

It is sad that so many of you look at the father as some sort of meal ticket and only on here to learn how to achieve that aim, contribute yes, pay no, it is not a fine