Help Please - Ex partner slipping under the radar again!!!

boho1980

DUTR!! Read the comments properly!!! I said when i used to visit when I only had 1 child with him!!! We briefly split up 3 years ago when he was living in a different place!! If you had read the comments properly you would see that i said i only had 1 child with him at that point but i have 3 now!!! Where he lives now i have never visited and all my children live with me!!!

DanE2010

DUTR still not explaining why you dont bother to see your children? wonder why?!

Anyways hopefully looking around the rest of this forum you can find some useful info and support boho1980, its unfortunate that your first thread you started got hijacked but dont let it put you off, there are lots of people in the same situation on here and by looking through the other threads you could find some valuable info. xxx

boho1980

and where he lived before is where i had also lived in the property which is why i moved out to try and find somewhere else for me and my child to live!!! Hence why i knew where he lived!!!

boho1980

Cheers danE2010!! xxxx

HappyMJ

I'm leaving now....

It's been fun. I'd do something to really scare him/shock him whatever. Find out when he's working at the pub and bring the kids down (hopefully daytime). Don't mention money he's not going to be paying that but say to the kids look there's your dad hard at work aint he good. Have a quick drink and leave... If he's up for discussion maybe organize a regular meeting with him and kids after his shift finishes or before it starts once a fortnight maybe but don't tell the kids what day it's going to be. Ring the pub before turning up to make sure he's there then he should have little choice but to spend 10-15 minutes after work with the kids and you of course sitting quietly in background. After a while 6 months, maybe, then mention a small contribution for their upkeep would be greatly appreciated. If he then runs then forget it.

DUTR

DanE2010 wrote: »

DUTR still not explaining why you dont bother to see your children? wonder why?!

Anyways hopefully looking around the rest of this forum you can find some useful info and support boho1980, its unfortunate that your first thread you started got hijacked but dont let it put you off, there are lots of people in the same situation on here and by looking through the other threads you could find some valuable info. xxx

Not explaining or you not understanding are two different things. :beer:
I pay the absent fee so entitled to be absent and get vfm, :beer:

DanE2010

Oh I understand what kind of 'man' you are dont worry bout that, you carry on with your smug posts if thats what makes you feel better but I wont be responding to them anymore, no point trying to reason with someone like you so you carry on, knock yourself out! enjoy! :beer:

boho1980

Thankyou Happy MJ but he wouldnt be up for that at all.....he wants nothing to do with his children...and if i took my kids in to see him he may be nice as pie then and there but would just stop seeing them again and then my eldest would be heartbroken again so its best i think for me to keep them away...at least this way they can get used to not seeing their dad, luckily my youngest 2 are too young to remember him but my eldest remembers everything and i dont want his heart getting broken again and again and again. Which upsets me as i would love nothing more then for them to have regular contact with him and know deep down in their hearts that 2 parents genuinely love them!!!

DUTR

DanE2010 wrote: »

Oh I understand what kind of 'man' you are dont worry bout that, you carry on with your smug posts if thats what makes you feel better but I wont be responding to them anymore, no point trying to reason with someone like you so you carry on, knock yourself out! enjoy! :beer:

Glad you understand :j
When the law changes....so will I

LouLou

I'm so sorry to read about your situation, and this woman doesn't deserve any sort of vitriol, she's only asking for advice and she's struggling. Funny how the negative comments are from the men not having to deal with the day-to-day stresses of three children!

As a "grown up child" I know exactly how it feels to have a father who exists, but ignores his two first-born children.

At one point (before the CSA existed) my father got taken to court (mum didn't really tell us the details) and I plainly remember him on the phone begging mum not to take it any further as he'd have to remortgage the house he had with his new partner.

He then went on to have two other children with her (who I have met over the years, he hugs them in front of me and it hurts. Yes, as an adult, it hurts).

He promises to keep in touch and disappears, I'm sure I'm due another viewing of him, it's only been 5 years!

Some men just have no conscience and it sounds as if your ex is trying to dodge the authorities. Let's hope karma gives him a kick up the a*se.

Mum, for all her faults, never said a bad word about our father, we were left to form our own opinions of him. Sadly, life is not perfect, nor are our parents.

Being a parent is not only about money, it's love, care, attention, understanding, teaching.. But I agree, keep the children away from him, the flimsy proclamations of love, continual abandonment and false promises will hurt them very much. And you sound like a good mum, so let's give her some praise for that!!