Help Please - Ex partner slipping under the radar again!!!

DUTR

boho1980 wrote: »

I dont mean to be rude but that really is a ridiculous comment!!! I struggle enough to support my family and I am not the type to marry someone for money!!! My ex partner was a violent man who ripped me off and left me with so much debt when I finally kicked him out!!! When we met i was due to start a university course and he pestered me and perstered me for children so i stupidly had children with him!!! Although i am happy i have my beautiful babies now!! Why should i be left struggling to singlehandedly financially support my 3 children while he does nothing???

Also there was a point in the relationship whereby i wanted to leave the relationship and he would not leave our home, so i did and left our child at that point as we only had one, in his care for 6 months while i tried to find somewhere else to live and get my child back, during that time i paid regulalry for my child, visited every weekend and cleaned the entire house and cooked meals to go in the freezer to make sure my child was well fed and took out a contract phone for my ex partner to use which i paid for just to make sure he could contact me or anyone else incase of emergencies!! All this was to a man i despised just to make sure my child was ok!!

You understand why he's doing it??? Then unfortunalty your mind works in a way fortunately mine doesnt!! Now if you dont mind could you leave anymore comments on here to someone who actually wants to give proper advise not just leave unhealthy comments. Thank you!!!

Well you say he pestered you, but it seems from your post you re stalking him, then some how trying to justify it by saying you are doing it for the children. :eek:

DUTR

boho1980 wrote: »

Exactly.....he doesn't even seem to want to see them either.....it's like they dont exist to him!!!

And that annoys you because.... I pay my csa and that is all Im obliged to do

DUTR

DanE2010 wrote: »

well just looked at some of the other threads he has written on - mostly women asking for help/advice in regards to CSA, looks like the resident trouble maker and sounds a little bitter to be honest, very sad.

I reply in a similar fashion to anyone trying to take and not contribute, irrespective of gender :cool:

Sidekick_2

DUTR wrote: »

And that annoys you because.... I pay my csa and that is all Im obliged to do

Being a father isn’t just about paying money any more than being a mother is solely about receiving it.;)

PlayingHardball

Dutr, I don't know the background of your situation. Why have you chosen to pay and display but not have any involvement with your child? Don't you like children?

boho1980

DUTR at what point in any of this has it come across like i was stalking my ex partner??? You have no idea what the situation was??? I had to go to the house to SEE MY CHILD which by all accounts you have no understanding of as you have stated you dont see yours. I on the other hand LOVE my children and wanted to see them!!!

And you really are showing just how IGNORANT you actually are by asking me why it bothers me he doesnt see his kids!! Because i want my children to have a relationship with their father and beacuse my eldest hero worshipped his dad when he was around, and i have had my son sobbing his heart out to me many times begging to see his dad!!! THAT is why it upsets me!! My god how old are you??? Your seem like a kid thats fathered a kid with the attitude you have!!!

I do not see him as a meal ticket either but it takes 2 to make a baby and i am, and always have done my part to financially support my children so why shouldnt he...or YOU for that matter!!! Any !!!!!! can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father!!! You obviously unfortunalty fall under the first category!!! Now unless you have anything constructive to say best leave this thread alone!! But oh yeah thats right your obviously so bitter about the fact that you have to financially support a child you created that you get some pathetic little kick out of winding up mums on here who work hard to raise their children!!! lmfao!!! You really need to grow up and get a life little man!!! :rotfl:

HappyMJ

You need to chill... The guy lives above a pub i.e he's basically homeless. He will be earning less than minimum wage as the accomodation is included. If it's a dodgy establishment he'll be paid in cash. You will need a miracle to get anything. DUTR is just stating the obvious. Good luck in your efforts against a NRP who refuses to help. The loophole he would be using is that he is paid in cash. Not an offence if he is paid as a self employed person paying his own taxes but then that becomes an offence in itself if he isn't paying them but then...oh i give up.

DUTR

boho1980 wrote: »

DUTR at what point in any of this has it come across like i was stalking my ex partner??? You have no idea what the situation was??? I had to go to the house to SEE MY CHILD which by all accounts you have no understanding of as you have stated you dont see yours. I on the other hand LOVE my children and wanted to see them!!!

And you really are showing just how IGNORANT you actually are by asking me why it bothers me he doesnt see his kids!! Because i want my children to have a relationship with their father and beacuse my eldest hero worshipped his dad when he was around, and i have had my son sobbing his heart out to me many times begging to see his dad!!! THAT is why it upsets me!! My god how old are you??? Your seem like a kid thats fathered a kid with the attitude you have!!!

I do not see him as a meal ticket either but it takes 2 to make a baby and i am, and always have done my part to financially support my children so why shouldnt he...or YOU for that matter!!! Any !!!!!! can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father!!! You obviously unfortunalty fall under the first category!!! Now unless you have anything constructive to say best leave this thread alone!! But oh yeah thats right your obviously so bitter about the fact that you have to financially support a child you created that you get some pathetic little kick out of winding up mums on here who work hard to raise their children!!! lmfao!!! You really need to grow up and get a life little man!!! :rotfl:

You never mentioned that you work, all above your sob story, all you seem to have is a career of hunting the ex down for a few quid, being a great mum is not about seeking how much ££s you can screw from your ex, any medical capable woman can make a baby .
yes he should contribute but the few quid you may get could easily be earned by working a few extra hours yourself. Next time you choose a partner be more careful , whatever happened in your relationship, it is not only the blokes fault is it?
good luck with your money hunt, as said it could take years as other posters will tell you.

DanE2010

DUTR did your mother not hug you enough as a child or something?! There is not reasoning with pathetic little men like you so run along and find some other thread where you can wind people up and make yourself feel good - its probably the only joy you have in life isnt it? Considering you dont bother to see your own flesh and blood yourself im assuming your a heartless bitter man sat at his computer finding people to insult because you dont have any other outlet to express your anger. If a man and women make a baby it is up to BOTH of them to support them - why should the woman be left to raise the children and the man get to swan off and shirk his responsibilities? THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THAT AND NO AMOUNT OF CRAP YOU WRITE ON HERE WILL EVER EXCUSE THAT!
And to happy MJ? What u on about "the guy is basically homeless?" Get real! and so what if he is on the minimum wage! Is that any excuse not to see his children or contribute financially towards them? I have zero respect for any parent who walks out on their children and doesnt bother to maintain a relationship with them, if he was any sort of father he would visiting them no? If he was any sort of father he would be offering to help contribute towards raising them? What part of that is so difficult for you to understand?

HappyMJ

DanE2010 wrote: »

And to happy MJ? What u on about "the guy is basically homeless?" Get real! and so what if he is on the minimum wage! Is that any excuse not to see his children or contribute financially towards them? I have zero respect for any parent who walks out on their children and doesnt bother to maintain a relationship with them, if he was any sort of father he would visiting them no? If he was any sort of father he would be offering to help contribute towards raising them? What part of that is so difficult for you to understand?

For fear of trolling...He either owns the pub in which he has a lease or he's a lodger in it, hardly a permanent home. If he no longer works there then he gets kicked out.

If he's on minimum wage then how much should he be giving to the PWC? Ask any landlord of a pub and if they clear £5 per hour after expenses or even making a profit at all then they are doing really well. I as well as everyone agree he should pay something but there is little one can do against someone who steadfastly refuses to pay. It sounds like if he were to get a PAYE job then have CSA deduct it's max 40% (assuming arrears) then he would just quit as non-economical.

As for not seeing his kids. I do agree that there is no excuse whatsoever for at least some contact.

The OP asked if anything can be done. Well there is but against a NRP's refusal to pay then nothing will be successful. He has to want to pay.