Help Please - Ex partner slipping under the radar again!!!

DUTR

DanE2010 wrote: »

DUTR did your mother not hug you enough as a child or something?! There is not reasoning with pathetic little men like you so run along and find some other thread where you can wind people up and make yourself feel good - its probably the only joy you have in life isnt it? Considering you dont bother to see your own flesh and blood yourself im assuming your a heartless bitter man sat at his computer finding people to insult because you dont have any other outlet to express your anger. If a man and women make a baby it is up to BOTH of them to support them - why should the woman be left to raise the children and the man get to swan off and shirk his responsibilities? THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THAT AND NO AMOUNT OF CRAP YOU WRITE ON HERE WILL EVER EXCUSE THAT!
And to happy MJ? What u on about "the guy is basically homeless?" Get real! and so what if he is on the minimum wage! Is that any excuse not to see his children or contribute financially towards them? I have zero respect for any parent who walks out on their children and doesnt bother to maintain a relationship with them, if he was any sort of father he would visiting them no? If he was any sort of father he would be offering to help contribute towards raising them? What part of that is so difficult for you to understand?

Why are so many of you on about little?
Do I post so many women over a size 14 :rotfl:
Yes it is up to both parents to support a child and not just financially.
Of course my parents loved me during my childhood, and yes I see them every week that I am in the UK :j
As the OP's ex is not on the thread to defend himself, then I don't see why so many of you are ganging up against him, who is to say the OP is telling all of the truth? (not saying she is not)
No child is going to die in the UK due to lack of financial contribution from the NRP, so for that reason the chase is not so crucial as many are trying to make out, perhaps the OP could sue the children when they are older and the father passes away and left a policy for the children that matures when he passes away?

boho1980

Only a guy like you could call it 'screwing money out of your ex' yet refuse to acknowledge that he has a legal obligation to pay for his child so its not really 'screwing' money out of him is it!!! And as I have said before you actually have NO idea about the history of the relationship so all of your comments are soooo far of the mark its unreal and your comments are in essence...useless!! And i'm already completely fulfilling my role as a good mum for my kids and always have done!!! The only part i do agree with is that it will take years.

Thankyou happy MJ for the advise.....its just all stress i could do without, as raising 3 children under 5 is hard enough as it is without all of this...so by the looks of things i may aswell give up aswell. xxx

DUTR

boho1980 wrote: »

Only a guy like you could call it 'screwing money out of your ex' yet refuse to acknowledge that he has a legal obligation to pay for his child so its not really 'screwing' money out of him is it!!! And as I have said before you actually have NO idea about the history of the relationship so all of your comments are soooo far of the mark its unreal and your comments are in essence...useless!! And i'm already completely fulfilling my role as a good mum for my kids and always have done!!! The only part i do agree with is that it will take years.

Thankyou happy MJ for the advise.....its just all stress i could do without, as raising 3 children under 5 is hard enough as it is without all of this...so by the looks of things i may aswell give up aswell. xxx

I would not know I pay my financial dues remember ? :j
You say he was violent so you kicked him out, yet you are brave enough to stalk his whereabouts and keep some kind of contact by fighting for some contribution, when this obviously may annoy him and cause another physical attack ???? Folk did not take RM seriously look what happened there?
Anyways aas said, for you to get any kind of win, it will take much longer than the length of this thread, and in real life folk are going to tell you what is real as well as what you want to read/hear (that is where lays your anger)
So many complain of not having money, yet find the money for a computer and internet connection :eek:

DanE2010

I know the OP is telling the truth because I know her! I also know how sneaky and manipulative her ex is and I can assure you the man is not someone you would want to defend! He live 10 minutes away from his children and has no contact with them whatsoever, he has never contributed financially towards them, even when they were a couple, the only thing he spends his money on is booze and weed. When the OP was 8 months pregnant and while he sat at home all day getting blitzed the would have to walk to work 30 minutes with excrutiating back pain, do all day at work and then walk all the way home again, sometimes in the rain with no coat because all the money was taken by him to feed his habit and he wouldnt let her use any money to buy a new coat - one of his friends noticed this so gave her money to buy a coat. This is just one example of what a dispicable man he is so you really are so wide of the mark! Dont come on here trying to make excuses for a man you have no idea about, just because you have an axe to grind about the CSA in general doesnt give you the excuse to come on here and make stupid comments when people are coming on here and asking for advise because they are at their wits end and have nowhere else to turn. MJ I appreciate what your saying I just didnt like the way you told her to chill out which kinda insinuated that she was over reacting but trust me she is by no mean over reacting when it comes to her ex - the likelyhood that he has quit his job is very slim, its another ploy to get out of paying child support, and will soon be proven because we know people who go in that pub and will have it confirmed to us that he is infact still working there.

DUTR you still havent explained why you dont see your own children?

boho1980

Oh dear DUTR you really are rather stupid arent you??? I know about his whereabouts as he told me where he was working before he disappeared out of the childrens lives. He was only violent towards me when we were living together so unfortunatly on this occassion my night vision goggles have not been put into use!!!

And yes I do have an internet connection mothers are allowed to have internet connections darling or is that something else you feel women have no entitlement too. I also need to have an internet connection for when i start my degree. And no where in this thread have i complained i have not got any money, I'm not loaded by any means, and i do struggle but i make sure we have enough for what we need. i'm saying i want him to contribute towards his children aswell!! and if i'm honest more importantly i would like him to see his children as my eldest loves him dearly and it breaks my childs heart not seeing him!! But like i said your only commenting on here to try and cause more upset to a woman already upset. Kicking someone when they are down is not big or clever, but you carry on darling, enjoy yaself!!! You seem to be already!!!

HappyMJ

It was all the exclamation marks....He's obviously got his priorities right booze and weed first. hmmm... Why have 3 kids to him? No..don't answer that I'm sure there's a good reason. Give up on the guy. He'll never pay when there's more important things in life. Try and get social services to have some contact with his kids (when not !!!!ed-drunk- or drugged up of course). If it is found that he does work in this pub he will claim his income is paid as food and board including all the expenses such as gas/elec/ct and water and that the only money he gets is under £100 thereby negating his need to actually pay any CSA or maybe max of £5 per week.

DUTR

boho1980 wrote: »

Oh dear DUTR you really are rather stupid arent you??? I know about his whereabouts as he told me where he was working before he disappeared out of the childrens lives. He was only violent towards me when we were living together so unfortunatly on this occassion my night vision goggles have not been put into use!!!

And yes I do have an internet connection mothers are allowed to have internet connections darling or is that something else you feel women have no entitlement too. I also need to have an internet connection for when i start my degree. And no where in this thread have i complained i have not got any money, I'm not loaded by any means, and i do struggle but i make sure we have enough for what we need. i'm saying i want him to contribute towards his children aswell!! and if i'm honest more importantly i would like him to see his children as my eldest loves him dearly and it breaks my childs heart not seeing him!! But like i said your only commenting on here to try and cause more upset to a woman already upset. Kicking someone when they are down is not big or clever, but you carry on darling, enjoy yaself!!! You seem to be already!!!

Few of us are loaded, and it strikes me as strange that only those backing up the cause are not those paying it themselves, however as well in your post you mention the bit that is always worth much more than the money :cool:
I pay, so everyone else should have to pay, but I would not get eat up over it. :beer:

boho1980

Already had social services involved before Happy MJ. They started taking him to the local childrens centre to meet his dad but then he stopped showing up and on 3 occassions my son had to be dragged out of there crying for daddy. It was awful so we eventually stopped the contact!! I do know exaclty what your saying about why have 3 children to him...looking back on it i do wish i had chosen a better man to be the father of my children but i was madly in love with him and it took along time for me to be unblinded by this...and by then i had 3 children!!!

And danE2010 yeah thats right it was his best friend of over 20 years that he had grown up with was so sick of seeing me walking around in winter with just a jumper and flipflops on cos my ex refused to buy me shoes and a coat that he gave me money to buy the stuff and i had to go back to work when my baby was only 2 months old and i was still breastfeeding to get money as all his money was getting spent on weed and cider!!! xxx

boho1980

DUTR as i said before in the brief spell i wasn't living with my child i not only paid regularly and also paid for his phone so he contact anyone in need of emergency and also when visiting my child made sure the house was clean and cooked meals for my child for the week......but strangely you saw this as stalking so overlooked that vital fact that I am backing up the cause and HAVE paid it myself and MORE!!!

DUTR

DanE2010 wrote: »

I know the OP is telling the truth because I know her! I also know how sneaky and manipulative her ex is and I can assure you the man is not someone you would want to defend! He live 10 minutes away from his children and has no contact with them whatsoever, he has never contributed financially towards them, even when they were a couple, the only thing he spends his money on is booze and weed. When the OP was 8 months pregnant and while he sat at home all day getting blitzed the would have to walk to work 30 minutes with excrutiating back pain, do all day at work and then walk all the way home again, sometimes in the rain with no coat because all the money was taken by him to feed his habit and he wouldnt let her use any money to buy a new coat - one of his friends noticed this so gave her money to buy a coat. This is just one example of what a dispicable man he is so you really are so wide of the mark! Dont come on here trying to make excuses for a man you have no idea about, just because you have an axe to grind about the CSA in general doesnt give you the excuse to come on here and make stupid comments when people are coming on here and asking for advise because they are at their wits end and have nowhere else to turn. MJ I appreciate what your saying I just didnt like the way you told her to chill out which kinda insinuated that she was over reacting but trust me she is by no mean over reacting when it comes to her ex - the likelyhood that he has quit his job is very slim, its another ploy to get out of paying child support, and will soon be proven because we know people who go in that pub and will have it confirmed to us that he is infact still working there.

DUTR you still havent explained why you dont see your own children?

Well the story changes, the OP said they know where the ex lives cos she went there to see her child(ren) so there must be contact
As said if he is the kinda person not to be crossed, then that is good enough reason not to persue the claim.
As for your last bit, whether the thousands of internet viewers or many friends , family or colleagues, if just one person can give me a good reason why I should then I will, until that time, things shall remain, I will pay the csa and that is it :beer: