Help Please - Ex partner slipping under the radar again!!!

csm_2

is it just me or is this forum 'supposed' to be for advice from others, not to be judged?!

Boho1980 - Don't even bother lowering your self honey, just ignore. Good Luck, I hope you get it all sorted out.

DUTR

csm wrote: »

is it just me or is this forum 'supposed' to be for advice from others, not to be judged?!

Boho1980 - Don't even bother lowering your self honey, just ignore. Good Luck, I hope you get it all sorted out.

Well that's a bit hypocrytical, as many are judging someone else, whether it be the OP or her ex

Soubrette

Have a look at my sig OP and then if you want to, put DUTR on ignore.

He has made it quite clear that he distrusts women, makes assumptions that women are all on the make and men are all hard done by.

Have a look at his other posts and see a) how often he casts aspersions on female PWCs and b) how often he does the same to male NRPs. There is no arguing with irrational prejudice I'm afraid and no matter what you say he won't believe you - so don't waste your fingers

The only pleasure he seems to get these days is when someone new posts on the forum as the rest of us pretty much see him for what he is.

csm_2

DUTR wrote: »

Well that's a bit hypocrytical, as many are judging someone else, whether it be the OP or her ex

Actually I haven't been a hypocrite at all, in my other post I stated the fact that everyone should be financially supporting their children regardless of sex...everyone knows that

DUTR

Soubrette wrote: »

Have a look at my sig OP and then if you want to, put DUTR on ignore.

He has made it quite clear that he distrusts women, makes assumptions that women are all on the make and men are all hard done by.

Have a look at his other posts and see a) how often he casts aspersions on female PWCs and b) how often he does the same to male NRPs. There is no arguing with irrational prejudice I'm afraid and no matter what you say he won't believe you - so don't waste your fingers

The only pleasure he seems to get these days is when someone new posts on the forum as the rest of us pretty much see him for what he is.

Read CSM's post Sourbette, NRPs should contribute end of, if any of you are too thick to understand that , so it be.
Of course the OP or anybody else can put me on their immature ignore list, it won't change the reality of the world or anybody's situation.
This forum is for anybody to post in, not a gang of how to get as much as possible, that is the same for any forum I post in .

DUTR

csm wrote: »

Actually I haven't been a hypocrite at all, in my other post I stated the fact that everyone should be financially supporting their children regardless of sex...everyone knows that

yes that I agree with, the comments on those that withold contact or don't contribute are the elemnts I refer to. :j

LouLou

LouLou wrote: »

I'm so sorry to read about your situation, and this woman doesn't deserve any sort of vitriol, she's only asking for advice and she's struggling. Funny how the negative comments are from the men not having to deal with the day-to-day stresses of three children!

As a "grown up child" I know exactly how it feels to have a father who exists, but ignores his two first-born children.

At one point (before the CSA existed) my father got taken to court (mum didn't really tell us the details) and I plainly remember him on the phone begging mum not to take it any further as he'd have to remortgage the house he had with his new partner.

He then went on to have two other children with her (who I have met over the years, he hugs them in front of me and it hurts. Yes, as an adult, it hurts).

He promises to keep in touch and disappears, I'm sure I'm due another viewing of him, it's only been 5 years!

Some men just have no conscience and it sounds as if your ex is trying to dodge the authorities. Let's hope karma gives him a kick up the a*se.

Mum, for all her faults, never said a bad word about our father, we were left to form our own opinions of him. Sadly, life is not perfect, nor are our parents.

Being a parent is not only about money, it's love, care, attention, understanding, teaching.. But I agree, keep the children away from him, the flimsy proclamations of love, continual abandonment and false promises will hurt them very much. And you sound like a good mum, so let's give her some praise for that!!

I'm actually surprised DUTR "thanked" my post, so he must have a heart. Either that or he's condoning my absent dad (surely not). Though I like to think most people have good intentions..?

Boho1980, this may well be how your ex wishes to live his life (cash-in-hand jobs, nudge-nudge-wink-wink type dodgy scenarios). You're well rid. And he shouldn't be anywhere near you, or your children if he's violent and abusive.

Concentrate on making a happy life for your family. You're an intelligent woman (after all, you were studying for a degree) and you can make things better on your own if you have to. I promise it won't always be this hard.

DUTR

LouLou wrote: »

I'm actually surprised DUTR "thanked" my post, so he must have a heart. Either that or he's condoning my absent dad (surely not). Though I like to think most people have good intentions..?

Don't be surprised , of course I have a heart :j, remember I have a daughter who is not far from your situation, I see posts saying how the absent father will live to regret their actions, real people like you with real life experiences , post the reality .
You seem to have matured into a person with a well balanced mind and rational.
See some on here are bullish, and it is obviously them with pent up emotions. My parents are divorced as are other people I know, next to none of them carry on like some on here...all about the money :eek:

There is nothing I could say to improve the relationship between your parents, and obviously nothing I could say to change your past :beer:

LouLou

Aw, see DUTR isn't the ogre you're suspecting. And my dad is SO convincing in the flesh, Oscar winning material saying how much he cried over us, and wants to start again..then..he disappears.

My past is the past, I have my "ouch" moments, but if a man is trying to be a good daddy that makes me smile

Soubrette

LouLou wrote: »

Aw, see DUTR isn't the ogre you're suspecting. And my dad is SO convincing in the flesh, Oscar winning material saying how much he cried over us, and wants to start again..then..he disappears.

My past is the past, I have my "ouch" moments, but if a man is trying to be a good daddy that makes me smile

Are you comparing DUTR with your plausible oscar winning material father?

If so then I would have to agree, when he oversteps the mark DUTR goes on the charm offensive but I'm the "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" school of thought.

He's fooled me twice and that's all the chances he gets from me (okay if after a few months of posting it becomes obvious that he no longer makes nasty comments to female PWCs for no reason - then I might reconsider )

Watch out for friendly, turning into flirty, PMs from him LouLou