My new new new new new

pepe2008

Just a quick message of support Sally. I do hope this Schools mess gets sorted.
I went through this with DDs Secondary School. She was 'out of catchment' for the Secondary School all her freinds were going to ( we had moved house whilst at Primary). We attended an Appeal Board.
It may not have helped that, as it was 4 o'clock in the afternoon in Central Oxford, I told the Chairman that he was 'obviously more interested in your trip home than my Daughters Education because you are constantly checking your watch and paying no attention at all to the matter in hand':D

No, she didnt get her place......but when Term started, her old Primary School were asked by the School we wanted her to go to where she was??!?? !!!!!!?!

OH stopped me from making a phone call.:rotfl:

sallyx

lol Pepe....and they say they remain inpartial is a complete joke!

Morning all

raining...dropping B at school and going for a run, then I hve to drive down and drop off paperwork (and £40 pah) for decreee absolute :eek: I might go into school this afternoon but will at least arrange days and times as I have to do 5 hours a week for my foundation degree

sallyx

Well what a week...emotional rollercoaster and I am sooo tired from the driving, the worry, the sleepless nights.

Am worried for B on monday...she's had such a huge change of her life in the last 6 months..I am the only thing in her life that is constant and thats been a huge strain on us both. Ive lost my happy cheeky loving little girl over the summer and I just want her back

SuzySu

Sal, you haven't lost her....she's just trying to cope with these changes in her own way, just as you are. She probably senses changes in you too - children are SO perceptive about things like that.

Yes, there have been a lot of changes for her (and you), but they are all changes for the better. Monday will be hard in one way, but exciting in another. Once the first week is over, a bit of a routine will have been established (same journey, same children in her class, same teacher etc) and she will feel more settled. Perhaps this week you could do things together after school. Just the two of you....not costly, maybe just going for a walk, to the park, reading....so that she knows you are still there for her and love her as much as ever.

Hope this is coming across in the right way Sal. I've been there too with some big changes and it wasn't easy. The best thing I could give mine was my time and love. You are a wonderful mummy - she's a very lucky little girl.

Shoe_Gal

What a lovely post Suzy :A

Sal - I don't have children so don't like to butt in but what Suzy says makes perfect sense to me

sallyx

Thanks Suzy...Ive definitely become more in tune to her needs and have been trying to give an extra bit of time just the 2 of us doing nice things together. She will need lots of cuddles next week but yes you are right once she gets familiar and hopefully makes some friends she will be okay im sure.

TBH I think most of my sadness and fears are my own, how I would feel, but she's not me and I must remember that

SuzySu

I think you need some extra cuddles too Sal. Please don't feel guilty about what you have decided. It is for B that you are making these difficult decisions and it will all work out for you because you're doing it for the right reasons.

I don't know whether you've read the book "Feel the fear and do it anyway" by Susan Jeffers. I've not read it myself, but it's one I am going to buy when I next get the chance. This is an exerpt....


"I've often been asked to explain why we have so little trust in ourselves. I don't really know the answer to that. I know that some fear is instinctual and healthy and keeps us alert to trouble. The rest...the part that holds us back from personal growth...is inappropriate and destructive and perhaps can be blamed on our conditioning.
In all my years, I have never heard a mother call out to her child as he or she goes off to school, 'Take some risks today, Darling...' She is more likely to convey to her child, 'Be careful, Darling.' This 'be careful' carries with it a double message: 'The world is really dangerous out there...AND...you won't be able to handle it.'
Apart from such seemingly obvious connections, it is possible the cause of our fear lies elsewhere. But does it really matter from where our self-doubts come? I believe not. It is not my approach to analyze the whys and wherefores of troublesome areas of the mind. It is often impossible to figure out what the actual causes of negative patterns are, and even if we did know, the knowing doesn't necessarily change them. I believe that if something is troubling you, simply start from where you are and take the action necessary to change it.
In this case, you know that you don't like the fact that lack of trust in yourself is stopping you from getting what you want out of life. Knowing this creates a very clear, even laser-like, focus on what needs to be changed. You don't have to scatter your energy wondering why. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you begin now to develop your trust in yourself, until you reach the point where you will be able to say: WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, GIVEN ANY SITUATION, I CAN HANDLE IT!"

We are all fearful of new situations, unknown outcomes and new challenges. You know a lot more about life and its challenges than B does - she will be fine if YOU are fine. Good luck with Monday - be excited for her and she will be excited too.

sallyx

I have already told myself that I have to be happy, smiley, positive and make sure she doesn't feel my fear. She is a confident child, will talk to anyone....its my own fears, the one stood in the playground with no friends, feeling completely out of my depth, feeling lonely. I mustn't convey these to her on monday, Ive got to be positive and make sure she goes off excited to be there :eek: run off and then blub away in the car!

se999

Best wishes for monday sallyx

Lots of other mums will be in the same situation and feeling just as bad if not worse. Why not go with a different approach once DD is happily away and positively try to talk to the other mums, especially ones looking how you feel. OK it's far easier said than done. But the school gate mum's need to be broached!!!!!

spud30

sallyx wrote: »

I have already told myself that I have to be happy, smiley, positive and make sure she doesn't feel my fear. She is a confident child, will talk to anyone....its my own fears, the one stood in the playground with no friends, feeling completely out of my depth, feeling lonely. I mustn't convey these to her on monday, Ive got to be positive and make sure she goes off excited to be there :eek: run off and then blub away in the car!

I couldnt agree more with this Sal. I see dozens of kids dropped off every day, and the ones who's mum drops off confidently and leaves are much more settled than the ones who make a meal of saying goodbye at the door. In my experience, the kids pick up on the anxiety and spend the day stressing about mum.

Be brave hun, she WILL be fine xxxx