My new new new new new

beanielou

Sure all will be fine Sal x

Lucifa73

Hope Bea has a super fab day at her new school and that you don't worry yourself into too much of a knot between drop off and pick up :grouphug:

Shoe_Gal

Hope B had a good day - and you too

sallyx

Yesterday was okay...today was horrific, truly awful and I feel carp
My mind is all over the place about so many things, feel like ive done the wrong thing, have maybe jumped into a life which might not turn out to make either of us happy

I have no energy to even write what im truly thinking and could quite frankly curl up in a corner and hide for a bit

sallyx

Okay sitting and wallowing about things isn't working so I need to get this down so I can get some clarity....am I actually truly feeling like this or is the horrible PMT clouding my judgement.

Ive spent the last 12 hours in tears....Im unhappy, I feel homesick, I have no-one I see on a daily basis anymore to talk to, I feel isolated, Im resenting OH, Ive thought why have I done this, Ive thought I want to just pack up and move, Ive thought nothing more than about my old life. I always knew it would be hard and our relationship would change but I guess just not like this! Im trying to be happy for B's sake because she's in a worse situation and I am sure feels very much like I do. I guess while B was at her old school there was some kind of stability and link to our old life and I feel that rug has been pulled from under me, like Im now trapped because ive ultimately moved her school and there is no going back. This is is, put up and shut up and quite frankly I feel sick at the thought. I don't know whats wrong with me, where has my total desire to be with OH and have our life together gone?

I just feel sad and very alone...even when it was just the 2 of us before OH came along I never really felt this bad.

Then I think, well remember when ex OH first left and then when he used to leave every week after he'd been down to see B and I used to feel a very similar feeling...spent hours in tears, loss of an old life but I came out of it.

See Im going around in circles...nut case, nothing more for it

Lucifa73

Oh Sally hun. A lot has changed for you in such a short time its bound to take a while to settle and it has been your focus for so long and now you don't have a 'mission' either. Has your relationship with OH really changed so much or are you transferring the fact you feel unsettled onto that? I think you need to take action to feel more in control.

You say you have nobody to see on a daily basis - is there somthing you could join/go to so you can meet like minded locals?

Could you start preparing the garden so that you can have a few winter veggies and progress towardsa a full patch next year? Or find some other project that will make the place feel more yours?

Do you and OH still make special time for each other? It has been a whirlwind of dates and stopovers which is very romantic and exciting but now more effort will be needed to maintain that romance.

Just a few suggestions and I'm sure at heart you know these things already but it can be hard to get out of the spiral. You have a loving OH , a beautiful, confident daughter and a chance at a great new life. Don't let the mind gremlins talk you out of it all!

Big squishy hugs xxx

Pooky

I'll echo what Luc says.

It's been a real whirlwind of a time for all of you, your emotions count just as much as B's though so don't try and quash them in the hope they'll just even out. Talk to OH about it - chances are he's feeling much the same.

The one thing I really learnt about coming out of a marriage where the communication had broken down a long time ago, into a new relationshipwas to make sure that from the start you got your feelings out in the open. From the major ones to the daft and insignificant ones, voice them, share them and deal with them as a family.

You've picked a fantastic time to change B's school - all the christmas plays/fairs/parties coming up will mean lots of chances to meet people at the school....maybe offer yourself up to the PTA, a great way of meeting some new people and helping to get to know the school too.

But.....and there's always a "But"....if you truely think you've done the wrong thing and you can't stay, then don't. The world will not fall down if you need to take more time to think about it all and if it does mean moving B again then that's what you'll have to do. As much as you don't want to upset her or uproot her again, no good ever came out of having unhappy parents.

You've been through so much lately, just take some time to let your head and heart catch up.

redsquirrel80

Can't say it any better than Luc or Pooky has. It's been such a big change but try to make the most of these new opportunities - you can meet new people, get to know a new place. And talk to OH about how you're feeling - you've always been so good at talking openly about things x

sallyx

Thank you all, I feel better for just getting it off my chest to be honest. We had a very brief chat about it and oh emailed me to say we needed to sit down as he didn't want me to be unhappy. I think I just need to give it time, it's change and I really don't deal well with it tbh. I also think hormones have a huge part to play in it at the moment. It's stupid because things that I wouldn't have noticed or let bother me are annoying and irritating me about oh. We do need some time to go out, it's very easy to slip into the boring "living together" routine.

Most of all I need some time out

Lucifa73

Just an observation - but you seem to deal better with the stresses life throw at you when you've got a project (particularly a practical one) you're excited about. I know you're doing the school assistant but is there anything you can get stuck into that is hands on?