Im a bad mother....

Loz01

Def stick to your guns :eek: There's a difference between being a bit untidy and living in some right minging mess! Forgot how old you said your DD is but if shes 11/12/13 she's DEF old enough to be taking responsibility for emptying her own bedroom bin, its not rocket science.. :rotfl: kids!

Craftyscholar

pulliptears wrote: »

The Laptop, PSP and Nintendo DS have been taken away and will remain so indefinitely until she can show some level of maturity.
.

Not exactly cheap toys.
When did children's bedrooms become separate areas 'owned' by the children?
And when did children start feeding themselves between meals?

pulliptears

Craftyscholar wrote: »

Not exactly cheap toys.
When did children's bedrooms become separate areas 'owned' by the children?
And when did children start feeding themselves between meals?

I don't think she appreciates just what she has. She is the only granddaughter of both sets of Grandparents, my son being the only Grandson. Both are spoiled by Grandparents. What the pictures don't show is a 36" Flatscreen TV on her wall given to her by her other Nan (she was having a new one). My son on the other hand also has a big TV, PS3, PSP etc etc and fully appreciates he is lucky to own them. He treats everything with a lot more respect than DD does. His room is always tidy, he helps around the home. He will put in a load of washing, put the hoover on etc without asking.

DD's life will be becoming a lot simpler mark my words.

kazwookie

Hi :wave:

I / my brother and sister, were never messy as my mother was ill with MS, so she couldn't do various thing, we did the house work etc, and thought nothing of it.

I love your plans and good luck.

I would some how also reduce the contact with MIL, allow phone type contact, but if MIL comes to visit lay down the law to MIL as well over DD.

How about DD getting a paper round or similar, when she is old enough, to give her some responsibility

Good luck with the holiday

gratefulforhelp_2

I'm not letting DDs have tvs in rooms. (please remind me of this when they get to 13!!) did MIL consult you before purchase? More and more I'm thinking there lies the problem.

pulliptears

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

I'm not letting DDs have tvs in rooms. (please remind me of this when they get to 13!!) did MIL consult you before purchase? More and more I'm thinking there lies the problem.

It was my mum that gave her the TV not MIL. Its not something she would have normally had, but after my Dad passed away Mum bought herself a bigger TV as she doesn't get out much and her only pleasure is True Movies Channel (God knows why!!). She asked if DD wanted the TV and at the time she was a tidy, normal little girl who loved watching High School Musical DVD's. For the sake of the sanity of the rest of the family (who by this point could all sing the entire score of the first film) we said ok.

In fairness she very rarely watches it so her having it really isn't an issue. As I said its not something I would have bought for her at all.

jinky67

pulliptears wrote: »

...and right now I dont care. I mentioned in another thread about my almost 13 year old daughter and her complete disregard for our home. My MIL waits on her hand and foot meaning that at home she is lazy to say the least. We have been fighting an ongoing battle for 12 months over her small boxroom bedroom, its a tip. Ive tried every method, removing her laptop, TV etc. Ive packed the lot into bin bags and given her an hour to sort them or they go to the tip etc. It all works until the next time....

We go on holiday on Saturday, and today she has gone to visit her Aunt in Lincs with my MIL who is coming on holiday with us. the plan being she stays in Lincs tonight with her Aunt (MIL is coming home tonight) and comes home late friday evening with her aunt. We then all travel together on Saturday. DD has just called and told me she has forgotten to pack her swimming costume and will I have a look for it...

I've set one foot inside her room, to call it a tip is an understatement. Clothes are hanging out of drawers, her laptop is switched on, bed unmade, papers, sweet wrappers all over the floor etc. Bear in mind this is how she intended on leaving it while we are away. I've called her at her Aunts house and told her in no uncertain terms she is to come home with MIL tonight, she is NOT staying at her Aunts and tomorrow she sorts out the tip before we go on holiday. Much sobbing and wailing ensued but this time I am not backing down.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for 'own space' and I rarely need to go into DS's room because he is fairly tidy, but when it comes to her leaving food waste and wrappers everywhere I draw the line.

Anyone have any solutions?

Sounds exactly like the ex's DD's bedroom constantly:mad: even after I scubbed it from top to bottom, she STILL wouldnt keep in clean or tidy................the crumbs and food remains were the worst.....they got everywhere:mad:

Thing was HE never bothered his arris about it like I did......to me it showed a total lack of respect for other people's property.

When we had to empty out her room in the old house, we filled god knows how many bin bags with rubbish:mad::eek::mad::eek::mad::eek: it was a tip, even her BOY cousins said it was like something of off "how clean is your house" with Kim and Aggie, they were horrified she could live in it


I would empty EVERYTHING out the room as mentioned and leave ONLY what she needs seriously:cool:


ETA: having seen the photos, I would say the room looks CLEANER than the Ex's DD's room......nowhere near as many crumbs or wee bits paper on the floor....but YEAH it was THAT bad as well

sassyblue

Craftyscholar wrote: »

When did children's bedrooms become separate areas 'owned' by the children?
And when did children start feeding themselves between meals?

When we became a kinder society :A

Fang_3

pulliptears wrote: »

I don't think she appreciates just what she has. She is the only granddaughter of both sets of Grandparents, my son being the only Grandson. Both are spoiled by Grandparents. What the pictures don't show is a 36" Flatscreen TV on her wall given to her by her other Nan (she was having a new one). My son on the other hand also has a big TV, PS3, PSP etc etc and fully appreciates he is lucky to own them. He treats everything with a lot more respect than DD does. His room is always tidy, he helps around the home. He will put in a load of washing, put the hoover on etc without asking.

DD's life will be becoming a lot simpler mark my words.

Does he have a much bigger room than your daughter though?

pulliptears

Fang wrote: »

Does he have a much bigger room than your daughter though?

He does yes, but as I said we spent a small fortune on a bespoke room for DD so she has ample room to store everything she has.

If anything DD's room is easy to keep tidy than DS's!