Intentionally homeless - what are the options

viewings

Yes, I feel like the antichrist (or equivilent) for taking this stance, but I really dont see why everyone else should pick up for his mistakes. For 2 years, he has been told, you need a job, your money wont last. He was quite cocky and arrogant about it and although said he had applied for a couple of things, I felt he was putting in no effort whatsoever.

His sister has just managed to secure her own accommodation in another part of the country, she is just starting work along with her boyfriend. They have only been in their flat for just over a month (on hb and jsa) but have already had countless interviews and both have now secured work. So I ask myself, how is it that someone who has supposedly been 'looking' for 2 years, or at the very least when he knew all this would happen about 3 months ago, has only ever (in his life) had one interview and no jobs?

poppysarah

He may also owe university money too for course fees until the end of the year. He needs to get a grip and sort his life out. Someone doing it for him won't help.

Guidance not spoonfeeding.

viewings

Yes, my worry (of course its everyones worry but his, he probably hasnt even thought of this or doesnt care), is that as a student I think they have cheaper or free overdrafts, but once he isnt a student, they have the right to put that rate up or withdraw the overdraft.

Theres also the question of his student loan. He hasnt attended uni since Jan, so they have paid him until September 2010 but he has not been an active student since January, they may be within their rights to ask for this back.

I do feel guilty that Im being harsh, but I cannot see the situation changing. His sister has said that he can stay at hers for a bit (short time) if necessary but even she said that she is sick of hearing him say 'I dont know' when he is asked about his plans to fix this problem.

Brb

I was booted out of home at 17 and luckily found the Rugby Mayday Trust within a week through a friend. They provide a few buildings throughout the country for the single and homeless. They help ppl manage their finances and life too, although there are rules.

Google hostel for homeless or rugby mayday trust and see if they have one near to you and see how to get him referred.

princeofpounds

Tough position. I hope for your sake it doesn't damage your relationship because a) it's his fault but b) mothers can be irrational when it comes to their children (as can fathers!).

I agree there is an element of tough love required, but that doesn't need to be total abandonment. You probably shouldn't do anything for him (money, accomodation etc) but you should feel free to help him know/learn what to do, so directing him to shelter, the SU and so on is all good advice. Shelter in particular will be critical for him as this is their precise area of expertise, and they would be able to direct him to any temporary accomodation.

It's a bit tricky when you get to real homeless situations as it can either make or break people. They either turn the lives around or turn to another crutch like alcohol and stay there. Do you have any indication of whether he has 'weaknesses' in areas like drinking and drugs?

If he has an AST (if he private rents he probably does, but if he rents a university room that's a different matter) then he doesn't actually have to leave until there is a court order to make him leave. The landlord has to serve the correct notices to get one and go to court, and it would be a criminal offence to chuck him out without one. However, it would be a big shame if the LL got into trouble when in reality he is morally justified, if not legally.

You should also sit down with your partner and agree a joint approach on this now, before you end up with a situation where he arrives on your doorstep with his bags. If you don't, he may well end up breaking you up as a by-product of getting his way.

theartfullodger

If he goes to the Council as homeless they will apply the "five tests"
see
http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=2&ved=0CCAQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lcap.org.uk%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F05%2Fhomeless-get-your-rights-grayscale.pdf&rct=j&q=homeless%20five%20tests&ei=Pp1iTMi3OIyy0gS5yaTcDA&usg=AFQjCNHmcTWSY4zmNZNPM6Rws_O8i7qeeA&sig2=7t0ZPxpamzNHPLAxF_aNDg&cad=rja

Chances are they will decide he is "intentionally homeless": And, as a single male, young-ish, presumably healthy(?) he will be way-way-way down any priority list & be left to fend for himself..

Sorry, just trying to be realistic...

See also
http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/homelessness/help_from_the_council

Cheers! Hope it gets better!

Lodger

harz99

viewings wrote: »

Yes, my worry (of course its everyones worry but his, he probably hasnt even thought of this or doesnt care), is that as a student I think they have cheaper or free overdrafts, but once he isnt a student, they have the right to put that rate up or withdraw the overdraft.

Theres also the question of his student loan. He hasnt attended uni since Jan, so they have paid him until September 2010 but he has not been an active student since January, they may be within their rights to ask for this back.

I do feel guilty that Im being harsh, but I cannot see the situation changing. His sister has said that he can stay at hers for a bit (short time) if necessary but even she said that she is sick of hearing him say 'I dont know' when he is asked about his plans to fix this problem.

I am sorry to be so harsh but he is not your son to be responsible for, though your concern so far has been admirable; you and your partner seem to have done everything you can in terms of help and advice so now comes the time to tell him enough is enough.

Remind him one last time of where to look for assistance and cut him loose. Failure to do that will keep HIS problem at YOUR doorstep.

PasturesNew

There's a bloke down the road living in his car. He came from 300 miles away "to look for work", found none, presented at the council, who said he's not their responsibility. So he's living in his car, with no petrol and a dead battery.

Single people are, in most areas, told to sort themselves out. The Council's obligation is just "advice".

If you do have to have him, but don't want him, buy a shed and a potty ... make it comfortable inside the house and he'll never leave.

viewings

We live 80 miles away from him, so he cant just 'turn up' as he has no resources to do so unless my partner goes and gets him.

We have given him all the people that he needs to contact, CAB, student union housing advisor etc. I have in the past found jobs online for him to apply for and emailed them to him, no one is abandoning him.

I have just rang the council (London Borough) for his area and they have confirmed what I thought, he would not get any help with deposits etc. They have told me about a charity in the area who are only open until 3.30 today and then again on Friday morning, but I cannot get through to him on his phone (this always happens its impossible to get hold of him)

I too worry that if he was literally out on the street he wouldnt recover. He doesnt drink or do any drugs but is very overweight, so worry that he might get ill because of that. I dont know really

theartfullodger

PN might be right for (most) single people

Council are responsible for a lot more than just advice (which btw may be biased to avoid giving help, in my experience..) see

http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/homelessness/help_from_the_council

If, for example, you are a British Citizen, battered parent with 3 under 5 children & your partner just chucked you out at 4:42am .. chances are you'll be housed, albeit temporarily...