Best Man Question

claretmatt

cheepskate wrote: »

You just told him that you are skint since Oh has had baby , cant afford to buy the things needed for wedding , you cant be that skint if you can still go to this concert 6 weeks before the wedding that you cannot afford.

I mentioned previously that I had given him four premier league tickets and done lots of work for him for free. I thought that the offer might have been reciprocated.

cheepskate wrote: »

You dont seem to be much of a friend, leaving it till the last minuite to complain about costs and then expecting them to help out when they are probably maxed up to the limit 6 weeks before the wedding.

I never expected them to help out. I said we would pay for all the things, but I wouldn't be able to go on his stag do.

cheepskate wrote: »

As for the stag do, when he was suggesting it , this was the time to say you couldnt afford it, he's not psychic no doubt you were all smiles and enthusastic when discussing it.

When he was doing a budget list and our name appeared on the "things other people are paying for" then maybe he would have realised it was a bit too much to put on a new family.

The stag do has now gone up and will now cost about £400 in total.

*Louise*

claretmatt wrote: »

The stag do has now gone up and will now cost about £400 in total.

What does that work out for each person? (Is anyone still going on it?)

claretmatt

Sorry that's £400 each.

£200 for hotel and activities
£ 50 Transport
£150 spends - guestimate for Friday, Saturday night and Sunday day. Maybe more

*Louise*

claretmatt wrote: »

Sorry that's £400 each.

£200 for hotel and activities
£ 50 Transport
£150 spends - guestimate for Friday, Saturday night and Sunday day. Maybe more

No waaaay....:eek::eek::eek::eek:

My hubby wouldn't stand a chance of going on a 'do' like that - that's mad

jackieglasgow

Mine either, that's more than my food budget and council tax for a month, and more than it cost the four of us to go to Legoland for 3 days recently!!!

skypie123_2

How did the phone convo come about? Did it get heated? Do you think anything can be salvaged from this situation? As other posters have said you must have been close to best friends to start with for him to have asked you to be best man. I can't believe he is throwing away your friendship over such a selfish reason. You are better off without 'friends' like them, £400 for a stag do is ridiculous! If he needs such a big blow out just because he is getting married he should have a chat with himself and ask himself if getting married is really what he wants to do! These days it seems getting married isnt enough for some people and they want any excuse to have a party. I didnt bother with a hen do when I got married, I'd put all my energy and money into the wedding day. The very thought of walking about with L plates and dildo's strapped to me with a gaggle of inebriated women leaves me stone-cold!

claretmatt

He rang and said that he felt that things were still not resolved and they had decided that it was best if we were no longer were bestman and bridesmaid AND that he didn't want us at their on the day.

As far as we are concerned the relationship is over and there is no chance to salvage it what-so-ever. If he wants to react in this manner to a friend being honest then we are best off without then in our lives.

They have very very few friends, which makes it even weirder that he would do this. Or maybe his reaction is the reason why he has so few friends.

MORPH3US

As I said earlier in the thread, my stag weekend in Berlin was the weekend just gone. We left the house at 8am Friday and returned to the house 11:30pm on the Sunday...

Costs:
Flights & hotel = £135 p/p
Petrol to / from and parking at airport = £20 p/p
Go-karting = £30
Berlin tour = £30
Spending money?!?!

I can see how it could easily add up to £400 each.

If he was that bothered then he could probably cut it down to 2 nights or change where you were going but then to see it from his point... presumably all his other mates have said yes so it just looks like his best man wimping out on him after everything has been planned out.

claretmatt

I asked 8 people and they all said no as it was to soon and too much. Not sure who is actually going.

He's the kind of person who likes to always get his own way and reacts badly when he doesn't

clairehi

My OH went on a stag weekend for one of his oldest friends and yes it cost the thick end of £400 when spending money taken into account.

It was a one-off and he has turned down many other such invites due to finances. I didnt begrudge him as we had the money at the time and he hadnt complained about missing out on the others.

Its all very well for people who earn well and don't have young kids, partners on mat leave etc. to organise such dos. I know plenty of young single professionals who wouldnt think twice about going to New York for the weekend just for fun, not even for a particular occasion. But it is totally different when you have family responsibilities and are living on a budget (never mind the carbon footprint of flying 1000s of miles for a weekend). The Bridezillas and Groomzillas have got a bit of tunnel vision going on and seem to lack the imagination to see it from other people's perspective.