Best Man Question

claretmatt

Been sacked as bestman and told we're not welcome at the wedding

webitha

claretmatt wrote: »

Been sacked as bestman and told we're not welcome at the wedding

oh no how did that come about? did he tell you face to face or in a text/phone call?

claretmatt

He rang and told me last night.

hot.chick

I thik your friend may not have out 2 and 2 together...

he's a man (sorry)

so all he sees is you not going to his stag do....

he hasn't made the leap from you spending loads on dresses and suit hire and hotels as being the cause...

Maybe if theres a chance of saying - if they could help out with the suit and dress and shoes and hotel etc.... you could use the oney for the stag do???

Don't forget though when people have big weddings planned it is a very personal thing and most of the time people are expected to just fall in line and not question the bride and grooms decisions - you really should have said something sooner

Hope you have a lovely day regardless....

jackieglasgow

clairetmatt I think that's for the best, sadly. I think you've not done a great job of organising yourself, and made the critical man error of not talking things through properly before making the decision to say yes, but I do also think your friends have been a bit self centred, to say the least. It would have ruined their "big day" if they were feeling annoyed and resentful about it all day long, and thinking you were feeling the same way. Sometimes relationships run their course, but it takes something like this to happen for everyone to see it.

claretmatt

jackieglasgow wrote: »

I think you've not done a great job of organising yourself, and made the critical man error of not talking things through properly before making the decision to say yes

Or i'm too nice and always say yes, well whatever the reason its a good lesson learnt and any future decisions involving time or money will be duly considered.

The stag do cost has now gone up and adding in other bits and pieces which we were going to have to pay for the cost would be the best part of a thousand pounds.

Now if I can't be honest to a friend and say that's too much then sadly they are not the friend I thought they were

SandC

I too think it's for the best, seems like this wouldn't have got resolved any other way. I do think you should have said something sooner though.

Thing is with weddings, lately stag nights/weekends have turned into mighty expensive things taking place over whole weekends with multiple activities never mind the transport, accommodation and drinking. BUT. It's the biggie as far as the best man is concerned and if he isn't there, well then it doesn't look good. He won't be able to see past this.

I do, however, think he has been unreasonable in all of this, but communication broke down and you should have stepped in and stopped proceedings when he started organising the stag do - it is the best man's job after all.

It's a very sad situation to be in - but I couldn't see any outcome other than what has actually transpired unfortunately.

hot.chick

well I hope you get ALL of your already spent money back....

it may not feel like it but better off without friends like this!!!

Plansomething nice for you and ur other half to do on the wedding day so your minds are noton it so much xx

MORPH3US

I can (maybe) understand him dropping you as best man (although if it was my best-man then I would have worked something out... he's best man for a reason....) but telling you that you aren't welcome at the wedding is a shocker....

Hopefully he will see what an idiot he has been... how can you go from best man to nothing like that... presumably you were best man because you were best mates so to chuck all that away is crazy.

cheepskate_2

claretmatt wrote: »

I'm so shocked about how self-centred and selfish he has been. I don't feel one ounce of empathy towards our situation despite plenty of thought to his.

He has paid for the tickets and we would have refunded him.

Why are you complaining here.

You just told him that you are skint since Oh has had baby , cant afford to buy the things needed for wedding , you cant be that skint if you can still go to this concert 6 weeks before the wedding that you cannot afford.

You dont seem to be much of a friend, leaving it till the last minuite to complain about costs and then expecting them to help out when they are probably maxed up to the limit 6 weeks before the wedding

From what it seems like you agreed to everything that was put to you. Then or as you started to have doubs would have been the time to speak to them.

You also bemoan him for the cost of your hotel, get real. You wanted this room, no doubt so it was easier for you and you would be as big a part of his wedding as his family/friends who booked a room.

As for the stag do, when he was suggesting it , this was the time to say you couldnt afford it, he's not psychic no doubt you were all smiles and enthusastic when discussing it.

seems its so easy for you to put the blame on him.