Best Man Question

clairehi

claretmatt wrote: »

I asked 8 people and they all said no as it was to soon and too much. Not sure who is actually going.

He's the kind of person who likes to always get his own way and reacts badly when he doesn't

Really sorry that your friendship has broken down like this, but it doesn't sound like you are his biggest fan anyway, taking into account your other comments about him as well. Sometimes these things happen for the best in the long run?

Hope you can put this to one side and get on with the rest of your life and other friends.

Will you be able to get refunds on bridesmaid's dress, suit hire and any other outlay?

claretmatt

I think i've seen his true colours hence the previous comments.

He said ironically that they would refund the money spent so far as he didn't want to see us "out of pocket". Wish he would have adopted that approach at the beginning

I'm sure it will be the topic of conversation for a little while and then i'll forget and move on.

Loz01

Some people do seem to let weddings go to their head, without a thought for if others can afford it! Ive been invited on a holiday abroad... its gonna cost a mint for flights/hotel/food/drinks etc, so Im more than likely gonna say no! But then people look upon you as boring etc etc. At the end of the day, you've got a young baby and are probs struggling on like everyone else, their wedding isnt (and shouldnt be) top of your priority list.

Emmzi

I think this is for the best. Sorry though.

*Louise*

claretmatt wrote: »

He rang and said that he felt that things were still not resolved and they had decided that it was best if we were no longer were bestman and bridesmaid AND that he didn't want us at their on the day.

As far as we are concerned the relationship is over and there is no chance to salvage it what-so-ever. If he wants to react in this manner to a friend being honest then we are best off without then in our lives.

They have very very few friends, which makes it even weirder that he would do this. Or maybe his reaction is the reason why he has so few friends.

Sorry to hear that

shellsuit

OMG what a complete and utter arrrrrrrrshole!!

Well, they certainly showed their true colours didn't they!

I suppose they didn't want you to go so they could slag you off all day.

Who needs enemies with friends like that?

Danili

What a nightmare situation!

It is so expensive being a guest at a wedding, particularly if you are playing a key role. OH and I have a pact now that we do not go to any weddings unless they are those of very close friends or family as they are so expensive. Even attending an evening reception can be expensive with outfits, presents, drinks, transport etc. I know it sounds a bit miserly, but am fed up with skinting myself over the special day of some cousin twice removed or work colleague I barely speak to!

melancholly

ouch.... probably for the best though. it's a shame this wasn't brought up closer to the date (although most couples wouldn't have needed telling!). i personally would want to put things in a letter to say everything i wanted with carefully chosen words, with a card and a wedding gift. that way there can be no issue of you not acting properly and like adults (even if the most appropriate gift might be something sharon osbourne might send!). that way you can say that you had issues over paying so much money for their wedding, which you didn't budget as in your background, these costs are absorbed by the couple. you can wish them the best for the future and walk away with heads held high.

why don't you get a babysitter and spend the night out for a meal/the cinema/something. if you stay in, you'll just feel bad about not being there. having another plan might be a good idea.

how does your OH feel about this? is she upset?

COOKIES

I cant believe some people have had a go at You as if you're to blame for any of this. They sound like very self centred people and ridiculously short sighted. If my best friend had just had a baby i'd be wanting to make sure it was as reasonable as possible for her to attend hilst having a wedding to be proud of.I'd also defo be paying for the bridal and groomsmens suits and dresses. You dont have to have lots of groomsmen and bridesmiads. But if you choose to, you shouldnt expect them all to fork out a fortune to do so. Maybe one day they will come to regret the way they have acted once they realise they have no real friends.

ali-t

At least if your OH paid for her dress she should have the receipt so you will be able to get a refund on the dress. your 'mate' sounds like a right groomzilla.

If it was myself in that situation I would probably send them a nice card with a polite explanation of your views on how the situation came about and why you felt under pressure financially and that although you valued the friendship you are sad that it has ended this way. I would also make a pact with your OH to never !!!!! about them in public and that way you can never be accused of being bitter or nasty.

I hope everything resolves itself in your favour.