my son wants to get custody for his son

gizmo111

tweetie_pie wrote: »

Firstly they know about our background and if i have had any involment with social services which i havnt Of course they have - you will have been checked out as part of CP procedures

secondly how clean my house is which came out perfect
Pefectly clean houses - whilst nice do not make a good carer, nor arethey neccassary for someoneto have a child visit - a house that is a hovel, smelly etc is a different matter.

Im sure you are right and im not saying that they have finished because i would be very worried if they had as this is a baby we are talking about and they need to make sure his needs will be met
As for the evidence i have got all of the events that are happening prior to baby being born and a diary of daily events from social workers all from the CP meetings, also what mum was supposed to do like go to her flat with baby, anger managment etc etc which she has not
Social workers have photo evidence of her using her flat as a drinking/smoking den

When the baby is there? Why are social workers taking photos? What are they taking photos of - people entering the building or arethey going above and beyond the call of duty and legal practice and spying through windows?
I am shocked that a social worker is giving you a diary of daily events - unless of course you are just taking this from historical paperwork.
My son knows that he has a lot to learn as his only 17 well 18 very soon but he knows that he wants his baby somewhere where he is loved and his needs are met and yes the sw has told my son to go for 2 orders 1 contact and 1 residency
Social worker sounds confused now - why does your son need contact if he has residency? Any decent social worker would be advising on the options and advising your son to get legal representation not 'telling him waht to go for' thsi is completely biased unfair practice, and IF she has been telling your son that then she has a duty to inform the mother what she has advised him.
I asked the sw if my son has got a chance and she sed to me that they try to keep baby with either parent and its clear from all evidence that she doesnt want him so thats why she suggested it

The baby isa few weeks old - nothing is clear yet, presenting evidence to a court is done over a period of time. 6 months + is the norm.


plus mum is not willing to work with social to make things better for her she is going against everything they say and in meetings swear go to walk out, she refused them access to see baby saying shes taking them to court so shes really not helping herself

So why aren't they taking legal advice? Starting care proceedings?

tweetie_pie wrote: »

I dont think a lot actually read all the posts they just jump in but thankyou for trying to make it clearer for some
I am so glad there are some that do actually read what i have been putting

I've read and there are many inconsistencies in what you say.


and answer to another persons post
If there was evidence like bruising etc then of course they would remove him but neglect needs to be proved and that is what we all are doing

Neglect is not that difficult to prove at an initial hearing for such a small child, hundreds of cases go to court successfully with no physical harm being evident.
A child is not put on CP for nothing there is evidence before he was born that is why he was put on it

And if as you say the situation is so dire then SS have a duty to seek legal advice as the child is at risk of significant harm.
I am sure some people on here would rather see the baby get hurt before we do something

I sincerely hope that tasteless and unfounded remark is not aimed at me
We are trying to prevent that happening surely thats a good thing?????

Point I'm making is it's not your job to do this, this child has a social worker, who will have a manager or 2, who will have access to a legal team, who has a duty to protect this child from significant harm, not ask the family to do so. I still think you are misunderstanding the procedures or you are only being told the minimum as you do not have any rights as a grandparent.

tweetie_pie_3

sw are gathering evidence and i have the proof of the pics which they told me to get copies of and print of

They told my son there are 2 which he can apply for contact or residency depending where he wants to go from here and how quickly they deal with it cos if residency might take longer he still needs to see his son in the mean time

SW came today asking all sorts of questions about things and she left satisfied she also sed as a team they are seeking legal advice as the mum is not co-operating at all so if she doesnt then things will move very fast
The information about the past or events is given to my son as he is the father and has a right to know and everyone involved gets a copy. I was worried about the confidentiality of the paperwork to do with mum and her parents but the sw said it is my sons property and the solicitor will need to know everything so told me to show him
Also i found out today the abh/gbh charge mum has got 2 years ago are on children so again thats another worry

And no i wasnt aiming that at you but as a mum of 4 myself i cant understand some posts getting at us as a family when all we want to do is make sure he is safe where ever he lives and he hasnt had the best starts we just want whats best before he gets too old to realise whats happening around him but we will be working very closely with the sw and managers and they have assured me that in the meantime they are going twice a day to check on baby which we are pleased about

Loopy_Girl

Twice a day?

SW are stretched beyond belief for their time so I would like to meet the one that has time twice a day to go for a home visit

Still not making sense to me...there is an adult in the house with a conviction against children and the baby needs looked in twice a day and yet SS are STILL leaving him in that environment? When there is apparantly a lovely and love filled home for him...really?

What happens if your son gets residence - is he planning on staying for you forever? Cos no matter what your are saying, you are/will be doing the lions share of the care...if for nothing else then I suspect you can't help yourself

Loopy_Girl

tweetie_pie wrote: »

And no i wasnt aiming that at you but as a mum of 4 myself i cant understand some posts getting at us as a family when all we want to do is make sure he is safe where ever he lives

You don't get it do you? 3 months ago you were quite willing to leave all 4 of your children without a Mother and yet you are now professing to be Granny of the year?

Errata

Perhaps the OP is extremely bad at expressing herself in a post on an internet forum and what she writes shouldn't be taken too literally ?

tweetie_pie_3

the house in which baby is living at atm is dirty smelly cat poo on the floor fleas etc and thats not me saying that its in the report

Another thing is the hoardes of teenagers that go around the house that is another cnocern of the sw as they have drinking parties and because there are no rules in her house lots of teenagers go down there some are drug users its the grandmothers house and she lets them neighbours have complained of noise police go down there a lot and there has also been report of sexual activities going on in the garden and this is all complaints from a few of the neighbours of grandparents house

The more i read the more worried i am so i may sound like im being nasty to the mum but what i have posted is not just from what we have seen a lot of all of the information has already been logged about the house teenage parties etc even before i knew her and when i did get to know her i was quite close to her and i thought she was a decent woman who had a rough trot in care etc but after trying to advise her to work with the sw and do as they say for baby but then she goes out of her way to make matters worse and then learning about all this on the reports and seeing for myself now the only way we can see to make babies life better would be to look after him ourselves
Thankyou for posting

Loopy_Girl

Errata wrote: »

Perhaps the OP is extremely bad at expressing herself in a post on an internet forum and what she writes shouldn't be taken too literally ?

Well that's helpful when it's an internet forum and people are reading and taking it at face value......jesus...*shakes head*

tweetie_pie_3

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

You don't get it do you? 3 months ago you were quite willing to leave all 4 of your children without a Mother and yet you are now professing to be Granny of the year?

I am not professing to be granny of the year and i have already explained that the tablets i was on i was at the stage in taking the tablets that things would look a lot worse than normal but i didnt know that at the time and i should of gone bk to the doctors to have them changed as they were clearly not working for me instead i carried on taking them thinbking it would get better but because i have never been on them before i thought i had to go through the rough b4 the smooth so to speak

I realised what i did as soon as id done it and i regret every single second of it
I have had an unhappy childhood and a lot of bad things things have happened to me and not once have i ever tried to take my own life but after an incident relating to my past a similar thing happened to my daughter so thats y the doctors gave me anti depressants to help and i never thought the tabs would make me feel worse but a change of tablets i am back to my old self

But im not saying i am perfect no one is

gizmo111

tweetie_pie wrote: »

sw are gathering evidence and i have the proof of the pics which they told me to get copies of and print of

They told my son there are 2 which he can apply for contact or residency depending where he wants to go from here and how quickly they deal with it cos if residency might take longer he still needs to see his son in the mean time

An interim residence order with support of SS could be made very quickly and will have contact on it.

SW came today asking all sorts of questions about things and she left satisfied she also sed as a team they are seeking legal advice as the mum is not co-operating at all so if she doesnt then things will move very fast

I'm surprised they have left it this long.
The information about the past or events is given to my son as he is the father and has a right to know and everyone involved gets a copy. I was worried about the confidentiality of the paperwork to do with mum and her parents but the sw said it is my sons property and the solicitor will need to know everything so told me to show him

The social worker seems to be dragging her feet and not differentiating between private and public law proceedings.

This child is on CP and will be subject to childcare proceedings, this social worker needs to be very clear how this case is going and to remain impartial to parents through proceedings whilst assessments are undertaken. It may well turn out that your son or you get a residence order with SS long or short term support, however at thisstage nothing can be pre empted.

Also i found out today the abh/gbh charge mum has got 2 years ago are on children so again thats another worry

In which case SS have an absolute duty to remove this child from her care, and insist that she has no unsupervised contact. How experienced is this social worker, in both CP and court work?

And no i wasnt aiming that at you but as a mum of 4 myself i cant understand some posts getting at us as a family when all we want to do is make sure he is safe where ever he lives and he hasnt had the best starts we just want whats best before he gets too old to realise whats happening around him but we will be working very closely with the sw and managers and they have assured me that in the meantime they are going twice a day to check on baby which we are pleased about

Apologies for jumping down your throat but as a childcare social worker of more years than I care to admit and a mother to 2 teenagers it immediately got my back up. With a child this high risk 2 visits a day is madness - there are still hours between 5 and 8.30 and weekends where they cannot monitor this child.
Your last post explaining that SS are taking legal advice now helps me to understand rather than your difficult and somewhat defensive and accusing post previoulsy. If you need any help or advice regarding care proceedings and the process (I can't give opinions or look at papers etc) then please feel free to ask and I will be happy to help. Mooloo will vouch that I'm not a monster - sorry if I came across as that way before.

Regards.

tweetie_pie_3

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Twice a day?

SW are stretched beyond belief for their time so I would like to meet the one that has time twice a day to go for a home visit

Still not making sense to me...there is an adult in the house with a conviction against children and the baby needs looked in twice a day and yet SS are STILL leaving him in that environment? When there is apparantly a lovely and love filled home for him...really?

What happens if your son gets residence - is he planning on staying for you forever? Cos no matter what your are saying, you are/will be doing the lions share of the care...if for nothing else then I suspect you can't help yourself

It is not just the sw checking on him twice a day its the family centre workers,health visitors,us when we had him they are just making sure he gets seen twice a day
It is not all plain sailing when there is cp you have to go by the book

We have discussed this with the sw today my son will be bidding 4 a place as that is how they do it now where we live anyone over the age of 16 can but 18 to get a tenancy and when he does get a place then we will do whats best for baby whether its here or there with me going there to look after him while dads at college/work like most single fathers do rely on members of family to help out
We will support him in every way like i said its whats best for baby