What happened to getting married before having children?

thatgirlsam

a lot of marriages do seem to be more about the wedding than the marriage

the chance for a big day, to show off, the dress, the party etc (not to mention the presents and more lately the money!)

i find it sad that women need a marraige to become less vulnerable as ONW puts it

women should be able to provide their own security in life and not rely on their husbands to provide it for them

red_devil

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

No of course it doesn't.

But it does make people try harder,

does it. I think it depends on the couple. divorces are very easy and qucik to obtain now.

Oldernotwiser

Allegra wrote: »

Does it ? I got none when my marriage disintegrated, and neither did my daughter. Nor did we get anything from the welfare state.

You have some claim on your husband's pension if you've been married and the rules about the division of property are much clearer as well.

By the way, if you're still married to your ex then he is legally your next of kin with all that this implies.

Allegra

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

You have some claim on your husband's pension if you've been married and the rules about the division of property are much clearer as well.

The ex has lived on benefits ever since the separation and we owned no property (against his beliefs, apparently. Yes, I did fall for that. Yes, I did use to be very naive and rather daft )

By the way, if you're still married to your ex then he is legally your next of kin with all that this implies.

Yes, that is a good point Much as he has left us alone as soon as he found other folk to torment (and fathered more kids which he has no intension of supporting), that does not mean he will not decide to make a nuisance of himself when he has nothing better to do. I really ought to have that declutter sooner rather than later :cool:

I guess what I was trying to say is that one size never fits all. Marriage is all very well for some, but it's not for everyone. It's a legal contract, yes - point very well made - but that's really all it is, in essence. Any additional meaning is added by the individuals signing the contract.

Fang_3

thatgirlsam wrote: »

i find it sad that women need a marraige to become less vulnerable as ONW puts it

women should be able to provide their own security in life and not rely on their husbands to provide it for them

Indeed. It seems that some women are unable to do this and as such expect every other women to be as weak as them. Obviously equality hasn't reached them yet. We must pity them.:(

pinknfluffy0

Some women dont want equality though, and some men are happy to have a wife who for-fills an old fashioned roll.

thatgirlsam

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

Some women dont want equality though, and some men are happy to have a wife who for-fills an old fashioned roll.

i can understand the fullfilling an old fashioned role, but why would any woman not want to be considered an equal?!

pinknfluffy0

thatgirlsam wrote: »

i can understand the fullfilling an old fashioned role, but why would any woman not want to be considered an equal?!

I know a few who feel like this, they seem very happy and it works in their relationships. Though the men they are married too are very lovely and dont take advantage.

thatgirlsam

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

I know a few who feel like this, they seem very happy and it works in their relationships. Though the men they are married too are very lovely and dont take advantage.

but they don't consider themselves equal to their husbands??

in other words he is more important them they are



and whats worse, they don't want to be equal?

Fang_3

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

Some women dont want equality though, and some men are happy to have a wife who for-fills an old fashioned roll.

Show me a woman who doesn't want equality and I'll show you a victim.