It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

lambanana

I don't think being a SAHM makes you the house keeper as well, I don't have my own children but I know from friends and family it's a demanding job and I would never expect anyone doing that to then take on all of the housework as well. If you can fit some in round caring for the children fine but if you have an OH they should be chipping in with the work when they get home as well, being in a relationship is a partnership and teamwork and I'm sure everyone contributes to the mess that needs cleaning so everyone should help clear it up! As for one toy at a time...even I'd get bored with just one thing to "play" with at once and have several knitting projects on the go as well as books, my laptop, the TV...I wouldn't expect to be told I'm only alllowed one of these at a time!!

Unleaded is £1.11.9 at Mr M's near us so I filled the tank when I was last there. We don't have any journeys planned but we only had just under 1/4 of a tank in there and I hadn't seen it that low in price in ages so thought whilst I had the money it can be filled. I must remember to renew my car tax and book it for a service though...eek! At least the tax is "only" £30 though.

mardatha

Coal is going up, £20 a ton to begin with and then further increases later. That's from my coalman this morning.

D&DD

Blimey just asked OH the price of petrol here he said £1.19 :eek:

Well if its any comfort ladies, my house really does look like a bombsite DS3 has his stuff covering every surface,part of the floor and even on the back of the sofa I've just about given up,been baking all morning and asked DS1 to watch him..

Much as I love the boys being home with me jeez the mess!!
I'm sitting on me bum for 5 minutes catching up here before I start clearing up

EstherH

Thats_Me wrote: »

Gailey/Sammy-Kaye - b**ger the housework! If your men are so bothered about it, point them in the direction of the hoover & duster! As a mum of 2 adult children, you look back and never think *I wish I had spent more time on housework*! Take a tip and enjoy your kids while they are still kids, you will turn round one day and wonder where these adults have come from! As well, being a stay at home Mum, my 29 yr and 34 yr daughters have both said to me that they were really glad that I stayed at home. The eldest said she would have been frightened to come home to an empty house, as so many of her friends did. You may not have as much money, things, cars, holidays etc, but you have your kids and that is the most important thing in the world.

xx

Agree totally.

Annie56

Afternoon all, gosh thanks for all the kind support and welcome given, its much appreciated I wasnt sure that I had done the right thing leaving my exOH but I know Ive done the right thing. He was a right bombastic loudmouth but I soon shut him up the last time he shouted at me and gave me a push I thought right mister this could accelerate into something nasty so he kept on shouting and as I was just looking in the cupboard for a pan to make an ommlette he came through and started moaning about the bank statement he had just opened, I said well the hotel bill your querying is the one you took your floosie secretary to last month and heres a pressie from me so I clonked on the head with the frying pan.:D:D

He just shut up and never said anything and I went into get my life on track mode, found this flat, and ahem naughty moi, smacky hands , norty Annie went online and ordered myself some curtains and bedding and all the bits I needed care of his credit card and had them delivered then left, he wanted to control the money so he can pay the card bill when it arrives, that was just compensation for 20 odd years of listening to his moaning down my earhole every night and his womanising that he thought I never knew about.

Im on track, day 3 is passing fine, have got my new curtains up,they look nice especially knowing the ex paid for them and Ive polished the furniture I took and its looking lovley and Im feeling good.

Went down the allotment but as its windy and rainy the man in charge wasnt there, well least I showed willing, I rang him to make a definate appointment so tommorow I have a meet with him and hes going to show me the allotment on offer etc. (plus he has a lovley deep voice....mmmm behave yourself Annie)

Weather here in Staffordshire is dark, damp dank and very windy with lots of little heavy rain showers pelting down so Ive come back indoors and made myself a nice meal of mince and tatties and wolved it down, the ex was a miserable fussy person to please so now I can cook what I want, when I want, Im sure I will never regret shutting the door behind me in that marriage.

Solicitors tommorow and an appointment at the Jobcentre, I have never signed on as unemployed before so thats another new experience to look forward to, and the firm I was made redundant from has finally closed its doors today:(:( ah well life goes on Im grateful for what I have, roof over my head, health, and a small bank balance.

Right am going to attempt painting a wall, wish me luck ..
Annie56

EstherH

mustbemad68 wrote: »

There have been a lot of thought provoking posts recently which have made me examine my life at the moment. I have realised that I have been neglecting my home life (OH and two teenage DD) because I have been getting too involved with Guides.
I felt that as teenagers they are both doing well and didn't need me as much but I can see now that they just need me in a different way!
I have to make some tough decisions about which parts of guiding I drop and basically who I am going to let down, but I will regret it later if I don't do it now.:(

Yes, I think that I realised that as teenagers it is still very important to be there and show your children love and support. This doesn't mean wrapping them up in cotton wool and protecting them from the harsh realities of life or doing every thing for them, so that they have maid service, but preparing them and training them up to be responsible, caring adults who don't think the world owes them a living. I think it's wonderful, how many people on this thread are dedicated to family life, whether they have to work or can be sahm's. The ethos is a refreshing change from everything around us these days.

Margaret54

Hi everyone Have been reading all your posts and I have 6 children all adults now, and can remember when they were all small. My lovely late Granny said to me one day" Margaret love always remember that a house is only 4 walls don't kill yourself with housework. Always enjoy the children as they grow so quickly." She was right of course and full of wisdom. She had brought up her 6 children alone when she and her husband had split up, even in those days she did it alone after problems, and had a very hard life bless her. A wonderful strong woman and I miss her. I love the wee poem and will copy it out and keep for when I need to pass it on. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

greent

lol! I have 4 (12, 10, 4 and 15months) and a DH who expects a clean and tidy house. I actually don't expect him to really help with the housework - he's working away from home at the mo and is back for less than 48 hours on a weekend. I don't massively expect much help from him in general - his previous contract he was out of the house for 12 hours a day, too. My kids also don't have the 'one toy' rule. DS2 currently has lots of Duplo all over his bedroom floor - he's had some sort of game going on for over a week. They also have toys in the playroom and the lounge (and there's quite a few living in the kitchen....)

Sammy, I would try and get out of PJs as early as possible - because it will make you feel better. If that's all you achieve is that, then so be it But getting dressed for the day can really help mentally prepare you

I'm far from a 50s housewifr mentality, btw... I used to be a corporate banker and now do all of DH's business paperwork (I'm currently trying to get my head around the flat rate VAT scheme to submit a return next week!) and also occasional massage (I'm a qualified aromatherapist) I also cook all meals from scratch, bake, preserve and iron just about everything (muslins, baby vests, pjs, tea towels...) But I also do make time to play and read with the children

And this post isn't meant to be sanctimonious in any way, just in case you think it is!

mustbemad68

Primrose wrote: »

mustbemad - this will be a difficult decision for you because I'm sure the work you do with Guides is very rewarding, both for you and them, and you're also doing a very important thing for young people, some of whom may not have the same anchoring home stability as your children, and for whom this is a valuable part of their growing-up education. Why not talk to your children and see how they feel about it before making any decision.

Thank you for that thought primrose. I will still be running my own guide unit and taking them on camp etc but at the moment I am mentoring new guide leaders and involved in a few guiding committees so I feel it is time to get back to 'grass roots' and get out of the committee commitments. My DD's have both benefitted from me running the guide unit and are very supportive I am just feeling over-committed at the moment and a touch of PMT this week isn't helping :eek:

purpleheather2810

I do agree with the post about getting out of pyjamas. It does help. And it means it's not such a big task if you need to get everyone out of the house to the shops or something...

I find Flylady great. I try and follow it when I can. Her philosophies about letting go of perfectionism and breaking things down into baby steps have really helped me to get some kind of structure and routine and it makes manageing the household easier without becoming a slave to housework

Greent, you iron muslins??!!