I was wrong, how do I make it up? He didnt Lie!

Littlemadam83

he's back, havent read replies, but will do as soon as I can.

You guys are such great genuine honest people xxxxx

jcr16

what u need to do , it will be hard is let him come home when he's ready. and talk, explain why you dont trust him and ask him if he wants to work things out . if you want to save ur marriage be really honest. tell him why you have trust issues, how you plan on moving forward . remember your vowels say for better for worse. and it is a partnership. You don't just walk away over an arguement. you work things out. It will make you stronger. but also a huge part of marriage is respect for each other. and respect also means trust and honesty.

you can work it out hun, if you both want to. a sorry can go a long way, but saying your sorry from the bottom or your heart goes even further .

hugs tho hun, cause your gonna be feeling every emotion under the sun at the mo . xxx

peachyprice

I would back off now, give him time to calm down.

Now that you are the one in the wrong I think you need to spend the next few hours coming up with a plan to tackle your trust issues, so that when he does calm down you can apologise and show that you want to overcome the lack of trust, and show him something positive to go forward with.

llh189

Sorry just read page 4, and it would appear that he didn't fib!

The use of the word lie to far too strong and to deem him once a liar always a liar to just a wee bit mad.

I have no doubt that he is fumming mad, he has been called a liar, threatened and you've treated him like a naughty school boy and not like his wife.

I would leave it for now, say that you are sorry until you are blue in the face and then work on your own issues!

peachyprice

And whatever you do, make sure you delete this thread from your internet history, if he turns the tables and starts checking up on you he will be devastated to discover how little you think of him.

Littlemadam83

Hi guys,

Right I went to the car, a) to say sorry and b) to say if he wanted to be in the flat for a bit I will go out and give him space.

As you say I will leave him to it in the hope he will come round.

Peachy - I will delete teh history, but have I been horrible about him? I didnt mean to be and he knows exactly what I have said in the sense the phone said he didnt call. I will deffo delete, dont want to hurt him anymore though xxx

llh189 - You are right on everything apart from he said to me about not being together so we wont need a mortgage. I have tried to give him the facts and not be upset or irate at any point. Totally agreed I screwed up and as you say apologise til I am blue in the face. I am a !!!!!! and admit that.

Jcr - I really think your comment about apologising bottom f heart is true

h

poet123

Relationships are tricky, we all make mistakes. I think you are someone who is very honest and most other people do lie, white lies make the world go around, as you stated, people embroider and exaggerate, maybe you don't, but many people do. You are going to have to accept this may be part of his make up. You are also going to have to work on the issues which lie behind your suspicions, and try to move past them. This will be a blip in a long relationship hopefully, not a deal breaker. Take care.

richardvc

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

Uh Oh... but, it's a good thing in a way.. you just need to apologise and explain why you doubted him and that part IS his fault.

It wasn't his fault, he had paid the CC. Yes he has lied before but he didn't this time so is blameless.

The OP has admitted she got it wrong and I just hope that they can sort it out but I believe the quote above is unhelpful at best and damn right wrong at worst.

mackemdave

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

Uh Oh... but, it's a good thing in a way.. you just need to apologise and explain why you doubted him and that part IS his fault.

Has the poor bloke not gone through enough today.....for him now to be told its his fault is ridiculous......The OP got it wrong BIG TIME.....If she cant trust him....SHE has the problem and needs to decide what she wants to do,she says she loves him but obviously got no respect for him

GEEGEE8

mackemdave wrote: »

Has the poor bloke not gone through enough today.....for him now to be told its his fault is ridiculous......The OP got it wrong BIG TIME.....If she cant trust him....SHE has the problem and needs to decide what she wants to do,she says she loves him but obviously got no respect for him

She has said that he has lied before, so obviously doubted him, which to be honest, if he has lied before then he has caused a mistrust in the relationship has he not?

The OP did get it wrong, hence why I said she needs to apologise. But I stand by my comment that he has somewhat brought this upon himself in a way.

She has gone over the top in the accusations, but I think they need to approach the issue together and work out where to go from here.