I was wrong, how do I make it up? He didnt Lie!

Littlemadam83

Euronorris, again that is the sweetest most helpful post, and I think it is lovely your partner understands that all you need is a hug sometimes. Yes I will avoid all contact ha ha. Someone break my fingers please LOL

Pelirocco - As much as i understand where you are coming from, I think breaking someones trust is quite a severe issue, as is not trusting someone. I am going to snap out of it and as said have REALLY learnt.

But to me the thing I am trying to get a grip of is how to overcome if he can lie about the little things.... Which I am doing as we speak. My colleagues dad is a white liar, and they just have learnt to take everything with a pinch of salt and not fuel his little fantasies, so I will probably start with that.

Blackpool_Saver

How long has he dragged this out for now, for goodness sake, adults sit and discuss things and admit fault and are gracious, or at least sensible ones do. You are about 26 yes? how old is he?

He needs to get his butt home and start making up, he has a pregnant wife, !!!!!!.

He lied before, what does he expect you to think, he needs to know that it will take time for you to trust him again.

Oh and BTW , HIS settee/couch, what's that all about?

poet123

Men are rarely like women inhow they approach resolving differences (imo!) I "go on" about the issue until I am all talked out and a resolution has been achieved, which drives my OH insane!.:D (that I take that tack will come as no surprise to many of you )

my OH, and sons, have a clear the air argument and then retreat to their "caves" to mull it over. Which drives me insane!:D

So, we compromise, he listens to me going on, and I stop short of where I would have liked to have taken it....

I think many men are like this, so OP let him stay in the cave, he will come round, cook him a meal, plan a nice evening, and take it from there.......;)

Littlemadam83

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

How long has he dragged this out for now, for goodness sake, adults sit and discuss things and admit fault and are gracious, or at least sensible ones do. You are about 26 yes? how old is he?

He needs to get his butt home and start making up, he has a pregnant wife, !!!!!!.

He lied before, what does he expect you to think, he needs to know that it will take time for you to trust him again.

Oh and BTW , HIS settee/couch, what's that all about?

This may change your opinion, but i am not pregnant, we are just newly weds currently.

I agree, most people talk about it like adults, which thinking about it is what I have wanted to do all along. His prevented that from happening and created a HUGE thing out of it. I said so clearly in my email I did not want to argue and just wanted to get to the root of the issue.

As for the couch thing LOL - we have our favourite most comfortable one each so we can stretch out, he has his one and I have mine

Littlemadam83

poet123 wrote: »

Men are rarely like women inhow they approach resolving differences (imo!) I "go on" about the issue until I am all talked out and a resolution has been achieved, which drives my OH insane!.:D (that I take that tack will come as no surprise to many of you )

my OH, and sons, have a clear the air argument and then retreat to their "caves" to mull it over. Which drives me insane!:D

So, we compromise, he listens to me going on, and I stop short of where I would have liked to have taken it....

I think many men are like this, so OP let him stay in the cave, he will come round, cook him a meal, plan a nice evening, and take it from there.......;)

Yep the gool old cave - how mature is that?!?!! I am glad you have found a compromise, and it works and you both understand each other, hopefully we can find one too.

Shall do a nice evening tonight, after I get back, I do think he currently needs space or "cave time" more than anything xxx

peachyprice

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

He needs to get his butt home and start making up, he has a pregnant wife, !!!!!!.

Where? I hope that isn't what he's been hiding from Littlemadam :eek:


(Only joking LM )

the_cat

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

But to me the thing I am trying to get a grip of is how to overcome if he can lie about the little things.... Which I am doing as we speak. .

Repeat to yourself over and over again. 'The only thing that little lies prove is that you lie about little things'

Littlemadam83

peachyprice wrote: »

Where? I hope that isn't what he's been hiding from Littlemadam :eek:


(Only joking LM )

I know! The thought did cross my mind, in my obvious paranoid state I was wondering how said person knew such things!

Littlemadam83

the_cat wrote: »

Repeat to yourself over and over again. 'The only thing that little lies prove is that you lie about little things'

TOTALLY 100% wrong I am afraid. I never lie to my partner (well only if I have planned suprise), this is the thing, i feel guilty if for instance I have bought an expensive lunch, I fess up straight away. I really do not see the point in lying at all, and abhor liars! This is the reason I pick up on lies, not because I do the same!

I lost my best friend because of her little white lies I could no longer take. Life is interesting enough without the need for exagerations and lies

the_cat

I think you might have misunderstood me! I simply mean that you need to work on not reading more problems/bigger issues into a 'little lie' he gives you.

I agree with you. Hate liars/don't lie myself. Can't see the point. But from what you said he does and you have accepted that.
In light of that post though I have to wonder how/why you decided to move on from the 'big lie situation' with him from before