Any termination threads on here?

tizerbelle

This is a decision I have never had to make however I know that if I had to make such a decision, I would have made the same as you OP. IMO and experience with friends it is a decision that is not taken without a great deal of thought, deliberation or consideration and two women in the same position could each decide on a different answer, both of them right. As long as it is the right decision for the woman in question, it is the right decision and no-one else has the right to judge that decision. Others may not like it but that is their problem, not the problem of the woman choosing this difficult path. I do not believe this is an easy decision for anyone to make and it serves no useful purpose for anyone else to make that decision harder by criticising or abusing someone who has made this decision.

I commend the OP for her sensitivity towards those women who suffer a miscarriage despite her own emotional needs and fears at the moment and would hope that the respect she shows for others be offered back to her by all who read this thread whatever their personal opinions on termination.

Sharra

I had to have a termination at 15 weeks after they found lethal chromosomal abnormalities with my baby. I was surprised (and relieved) at how straightforward it was. They gave me pills on the friday and I was due to go into hospital on the Sunday morning for the rest of the procedure. As it happened I started bleeding and the baby came away Saturday night. They kept me in overnight to make sure everything was ok, and I bled for about a week afterwards, it was just like a bad period. In fact I had less pain with this, than when I miscarried at 7 weeks.

Wishing you all the best as to get through this, just be kind to yourself and your partner and don't rush the emotional healing, despite it being your choice, you still need to grieve.

nottslass_2

Britwife wrote: »

I am very sorry for your loss.
I clearly stated it wasn't my duty to change her mind and that I hope she heals in time. That even though I don't believe in abortion, I don't feel it's murder. I don't need to be told what to say and what not to say. I'm sorry for getting defensive but I'm not going to be told off for stating my feelings on public forum. My main goal was to make it clear that you can't compare abortion to a miscarriage...they are 2 completely different things.[/QUOTE]



And that is exactly why there are two separate (very emotive) threads and it should stay that way.

My thoughts are with you all.

LisaLou1982

Britwife wrote: »

I am very sorry for your loss.

I clearly stated it wasn't my duty to change her mind and that I hope she heals in time. That even though I don't believe in abortion, I don't feel it's murder. I don't need to be told what to say and what not to say. I'm sorry for getting defensive but I'm not going to be told off for stating my feelings on public forum. My main goal was to make it clear that you can't compare abortion to a miscarriage...they are 2 completely different things.

With respect, how could you possibly know that? Unless youve been in the situation whereby youve previously had an abortion and a miscarriage of a truely wanted baby then i dont think anyone could ever compare those feelings.

I have never been in either situation but i fully support anyones decision to choose what is best for them and their situation. I hope to have a family one day and know that conceiving may be difficult for me. However, i think you have to do what is best for you at that particular time in your life.

Sending you lots of hugs OP - you'll be ok. xxx

gratefulforhelp_2

dmg24 wrote: »

but please do not compare it to a miscarriage. The key to miscarriage is the mis prefix, it is not intended to happen.
By all means choose what is best for your situation, but please do not think that it is anything like the hurt and upset that goes with a true miscarriage.

It is right to keep this away from the miscarriage thread.

Person_one wrote: »

The OP has not compared her situation with a miscarriage it wasn't just the OP's post I think
I don't think trying to make the OP feel bad for feeling bad is very supportive.

I honestly don't think she was.

Britwife wrote: »

This baby was planned and it was devastating to go to the doctors only to be told your baby has no heartbeat.

I'm so sorry to hear this.

The OP has started a thread in a very contentious area, and while she deserves respect, she must be aware that people will have different views.

delain

I agree with person_one.

dmg24 I have had a miscarriage, on my own overnight with no medical help, didn't even have any paracetamol at home because I was too scared of being judged for being pregnant at the time that I never even saw a doctor until it was over.

This was three years before my EMT and the EMT was a very similar experience, although not quite so bad because I miscarried at 11 weeks and had the EMT at 7 weeks.

llh189

It is very brave of the OP to post this thread, especially as the subject is so emotive.

I am pretty sure that no one is suggesting that the pain of a miscarriage is anywhere near the same as deciding to have a termination and for that reason the two discussions should be kept very separate!

I had termination 5 years ago, it was emotionally the toughest decision I have ever made and I still think about it. As previously posted the procedure is relatively straight forward, I wasn't however prepared for the emotional issues that I felt afterwards.

Most people do not see terminations as a form of contraception, and do not take their decisions lightly or without reverence or regret.

I both sympathise and understand the rollercoaster of emotions that the OP is feeling, the fear of the unknown and how those around us might deal with the situation.

I hope it all goes well and you get the support that you deserve and will need x

ethelsmum

It must be a very tough time for you and not a decision that is taken lightly I imagine.
I hope everything goes as well as possible and take care x

Icey77

dmg24 wrote: »

I respect the right of anybody to choose, but please do not compare it to a miscarriage. The key to miscarriage is the mis prefix, it is not intended to happen.

By all means choose what is best for your situation, but please do not think that it is anything like the hurt and upset that goes with a true miscarriage.

Please read my first post, this is exactly why I have not posted on the Miscarriage support thread, because I do not belong there.

I appreciate that everyone has their views on this subject and I'm glad that so far it hasn't decended into a full scale war of Pro Life vs Right to chose.

Again, I must say thankyou to you all for you good wishes and your support. It really is good to know that there are people out there in the ether that will do their best to help by giving the benefit of their experience or simply their hugs, which can never be underestimated!

I will be keeping up with the thread and I will come back after the event. I'm sure there will be other women in my position that are reading the thread and I promise to do my bit to help them should they ask.

G'night peeps x

msb5262

Well done Icey, for your brave and honest posts. You obviously have a lot to deal with at present - I hope it all goes ok.
Best wishes
MsB