Any termination threads on here?

elsien

Happy to continue the discussion for anyone who wishes to get into the ethics, rose tinted or otherwise.
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/34506757#Comment_34506757

Person_one

OP, sorry for contributing to the threads descent into madness. I find it really hard not to rise to the anti-choicers bait but I shall stop reading now as elsien its right, it isn't helping you.

I hope everything goes smoothly, please stay secure in the knowledge that you are doing nothing wrong. I sense that you will, you seem very intelligent, confident and thoughtful.

msfoxymax

:mad: OMG what has this thread turned into? The OP asked for a little help and understanding not some petty squabble that belongs elsewhere. I hope all goes as well as can be for the OP and the arguments stop now. I have had a termination years ago and now have a 6 month old baby so I can see both points of view. Good luck and just ignore the poeple whom have nothing more to do with their time than argue with someone they have never met

miss_independent

From personal experience that I don't want to go into, someone I know had post-abortion counselling from LIFE after waiting for months for counselling via GP only to find it was non-specialised and found the LIFE counselling very helpful, same goes for pregnancy loss counselling. It is a pro-life charity but the focus of the post-abortion and crisis pregnancy counselling was on helping the mother come to terms with the post-abortion feelings of guilt etc in order to help them move on and it was found to be very non-judgemental and not trying to force a view point on them or anything. I wasn't going to post in this thread with it being a pro-life charity and not wanting to get into a debate but I saw other posters saying they felt guilty or found the procedure hard to come to terms with and they didn't get support and so I thought I should pass on the helpline number 0800 915 4600 (between 9am and 9pm) in case it was helpful to someone. I work with another charity and through multi agency work I know LIFE would listen to a woman even if it has been decades since the abortion so its never too late and one of the things I really liked is one of the counsellors once said to me that they are there not to judge but to love the mothers just as much as they love the babies; the mother comes first. So, I would and have advised people in the past to access the helpline for crisis pregnancy, post abortion, post pregnancy loss, for infertility etc.

Whether you choose to have an abortion or not, you do have a right to a life afterwards and the best life possible at that, if you need emotional support or counselling, its out there.

MrsAnnie

I will not fuel this debate, so I will keep my opinions to myself...

...I just wanted to wish the OP all the best, and I sincerely hope every thing goes OK for you.


MrsAnnie x

Icey77

Sadly it was to be expected really wasn't it?

I'm asking nicely that those of you that wish to debate the ethics of abortion will do so seperately and not derail this thread any further.

Please bear in mind that I am not the first (clearly!) and I most certainly won't be the last - how likely is it that some woman might come looking on here for some advice/understanding on a choice she has to make and finds this bickering, argumentative thread?

Please have some consideration not only for me but for others that have been along this path and may come along later. It's as simple as this - if you don't have anything constructive ( I'll say constructive as the whole thread isn't about a "nice" fluffly topic afterall) to add please don't add anything.

Thankyou. Tomorrow is day 1 in question and I know I am doing the right thing for ME. So for now I shall say goodnight and I hope this doesn't go nuclear.

IC x

whatatwit

I hope it all goes smoothly tomorrow and beyond.

Love, hugs & loads of support :kisses3:

MrsTinks

I've asked the forum team to have another look at some pf the posts - please stop quoting them as it just makes more work if they remove them

OP I've been following your thread with interest since you started it. I've not commented because I didn't want anyone to jump on a BG "taking sides" as often happens - but I'm glad that it went fairly well and that your partner is there and supporting you. I've never had a termination but I did have a miscarriage whilst on the pill when I was in my early 20's. Looking back that was the best thing that could have happened although I've had many a tear over that lost little flicker of life - maybe because the choice was not mine to make?

I have a beautiful baby girl (well nearly 14 months!) and she's the light of my life and much loved and wanted and adored by both of us. If I'd had my first baby I know that that relationship was destined to grow bitter and end very badly. I would never have been allowed to terminate by my then partner and I believe that it was so completely the wrong time for me to have had a baby looking back. Mother Nature lent me a helping hand even when I didn't know I needed it.

Should I fall pregnant again but not planned (to minimise the chances I had the coil fitted as soon as the GP would let me after my daughter was born) I would have little hesitation about aborting the pregnancy. I respect that we all have different points of view and the world would infact be an incredibly boring place if we were all the same. I disagree with many people on the boards but in the last year have learnt that I have mroe important things to do than join in the debates on emotive issues - I tend to only get involved if the board rules are being stretched or broken

However I think it was a very brave thing to do starting this thread - I don't think you had any illusions that it wouldn't attrack some negative feelings but I think you've managed very well. Especially given that your emotions must be all over the place (I know mine were when I was pregnant... I first knew that I was pregnant when I looked at a window display of livingroom furniture and burst out crying in the middle of the street!!!)

Don't think you have to feel guilt or regret - we're humans, we're all unique and splendid for it. What one person feels or thinks doesn't have to be the same as yours and vice versa. I strongly believe that things happen for a reason - although it may not be clear right now - and maybe years down the line these events will turn out to have been preparing you for something else... showing you the strength of your relationship, showing you your own inner strength and giving you faith in yourself and your ability to make hard decisions or something completely different.

If you think you have made the right choice then good for you And you may find that there are abortion forums out there... if not then maybe starting your own if you have the time and inclination could be something to think about? Just a thought obviously...

DJS1988

Hi Icey,

Just wanted to offer my support (very new here but have been helped greatly in a totally different thread so thought I would try and offer some help if I can in subjects I can relate to!).

I hope all goes well tomorrow and you don't feel too overwhelmed. I was in the same situation about two years ago, at 10 weeks I had the surgical procedure. Everyones different but have you discussed this method? From advice I took from close friends and information I read, I felt much more comfortable with this method as when you left the clinic, the physical part was over.

You have probably thought about all that and gone with what feels right for you so, sorry if the above is irrelevent.

Other than that, you seem very sure, as I was, that you are doing what is right for you. It was not a subject I had an opinion on prior to me being in that situation, but since I feel so strongly that every woman has the right to decide what is best for them. I have not had any mental issues since, of course there is always the odd thought about what may have been, however - I know I would not have the happy life I had now if I had gone ahead with an unwanted pregnancy. I think it is the people that are unsure or pressured that will have problems coming to terms with a termination.

I hope some people opinions have not caused you any trauma at what is already a difficult time.

x

sassy_one

Everyone has there own reasons and choices in life and no one else can make anyone or tell anyone what to do, specially with there body.

OP don't feel bad, remember the reasons you are doing it, this is your life.

It is not murder or evil