Any termination threads on here?

galvanizersbaby

saraht wrote: »

Hi Icey,

Well, I'm back from hospital, had the 'suction'/sugical procedure today, and hand on heart, feel so well that I can't quite believe I've been to theatre and had anaesthetic today! It's a relief really, and if a friend asked me which method I'd recommend, I'd say this one rather than the one I had on Friday with the pills, despite the fact that I was so reluctantv to have this surgical one to start with- aside from the fact that the surgical one has a higher success rate, it has been less uncomfortable. On Friday, I bled a lot of large clots, to the point where I was sure it must have all cleared, though sadly it didn't, also there was quite a lot of cramping pains later on in the afternoon, though to be fair if I'd requested stronger painkillers ie morphine, they would def have given me them. The other thing I wasn't prepared for with the medical one was the likelihood of it causing pretty loose bowel movements- I was glad I'd taken a pack of baby wipes to keep clean in this respect, and would recommend others do the same! The other negative with the medical option is that the doctor came round so late in the evening, that I had to stay in overnight, which seems to be quite common, whereas today I was out at lunchtime.

Whichever one you have, do take a book to read or something to keep you occupied, as things can get held up and gives you time to dwell otherwise. I was unlucky that the medical one didn't clear it, ws told the success rate was approx 85%, so most people will be fine.

I hope this is useful to you Icey, or other people awaiting terminations/ERPC for missed miscarriage etc. It may be too much info for some, but this thread is surely for support for people considering the procedure rather than wanting a debate.

Thanks for posting - was wondering how you were getting on - I've had an ERPC twice now for missed miscarriage (was offered the chance to miscarry naturally or take pills neither of which appealed) and apart from the obvious emotional element of feeling desparately sad (both pregnancies were very much wanted) I was like you felt a lot better afterwards.
Had minimal bleeding after the op too considering.

My consultant did say that if you are planning to TTC again that an ERPC is of help in this respect as it can create the ideal situ for future pregnancy.

Equaliser123

Just read through this thread.

Amazed that some posters (not OP) who have had their child terminated can say that they have "no regret" or "didn't feel bad afterwards".

I'm not offering an opinion in OP's case, but surely this sort of action must provoke some sort of regret?

OrkneyStar

Equaliser123 wrote: »

Just read through this thread.

Amazed that some posters (not OP) who have had their child terminated can say that they have "no regret" or "didn't feel bad afterwards".

I'm not offering an opinion in OP's case, but surely this sort of action must provoke some sort of regret?

I imagine it would too, but I have never been through it. Others have suggested OP gets counselling, to ensure she recovers emotionally from the procedure, and I second that .

jimbms

Equaliser123 wrote: »

Just read through this thread.

Amazed that some posters (not OP) who have had their child terminated can say that they have "no regret" or "didn't feel bad afterwards".

I'm not offering an opinion in OP's case, but surely this sort of action must provoke some sort of regret?

I would say at that early stage it would be debatable to call it a child but that depends on your view, I do think though you or anyone else are in no position to question how these ladies feel, that is up to the individual and nobody has the right to question that. Each case has it's own merits, and if you have never gone through this, then like all the males here we have no viable opinion on how they think.

busiscoming2

Equaliser123 wrote: »

Just read through this thread.

Amazed that some posters (not OP) who have had their child terminated can say that they have "no regret" or "didn't feel bad afterwards".

I'm not offering an opinion in OP's case, but surely this sort of action must provoke some sort of regret?

Maybe they didnt straight away, but perhaps years down the line they may feel a little 'sad' at times. I have not been through this merely speculating.
I do not see why they all would have to regret it and feel 'bad' about it, if the decision to end the pregnancy is made for the right reasons for that individual at that time in their lives.

OrkneyStar

just had a thought......is there anyway to have some sort of disclaimer or something on this thread...at the start or in the title, to say this is not a discussion pro/anti abortion but a support thread ? Can board guides put extra posts in or something ?
x

Broken_hearted

Equaliser123 wrote: »

Just read through this thread.

Amazed that some posters (not OP) who have had their child terminated can say that they have "no regret" or "didn't feel bad afterwards".

I'm not offering an opinion in OP's case, but surely this sort of action must provoke some sort of regret?

Not everyone has the same emotional reactions. Everyone prioritizes their lives in a different way regret requires emotional attachment, to be able to do this would require a certain amount of emotional detachment. No-one would want a woman to suffer her whole life because of it which is why better counseling services should be provided. Lots of research has been done in relation to the lack of support services increasing the rates of depression and suicide. Maybe those who can blank it out are the lucky ones, those who can not should be given extra help.

summerday

OrkneyStar wrote: »

just had a thought......is there anyway to have some sort of disclaimer or something on this thread...at the start or in the title, to say this is not a discussion pro/anti abortion but a support thread ? Can board guides put extra posts in or something ?
x

That is an excellent idea! I am sure this thread will help lots of people, and if anyone also think of any money saving suggestions related to this issue, we can add them too!

Here's one for starters- you will need sanitary pads when you go into hospital, esp for the medical method, but don't worry about having many of your own because the hospital will provide them.

Person_one

Equaliser123 wrote: »

Just read through this thread.

Amazed that some posters (not OP) who have had their child terminated can say that they have "no regret" or "didn't feel bad afterwards".

I'm not offering an opinion in OP's case, but surely this sort of action must provoke some sort of regret?

Why must it? I see no reason to disbelieve what they've told us.

I don't want children, and I find it hard to imagine how women who have them don't ever feel a bit of regret, but I take their word for it.

Surely you don't want women to be going through life feeling regret so this is a good thing. Would it make you feel better if they suffered for their decision?

Equaliser123

Person_one wrote: »

Why must it? I see no reason to disbelieve what they've told us.

I don't want children, and I find it hard to imagine how women who have them don't ever feel a bit of regret, but I take their word for it.

Surely you don't want women to be going through life feeling regret so this is a good thing. Would it make you feel better if they suffered for their decision?

No I don't want women "going through life feeling regret". I would have thought it was obvious that that was not my point.

What I would have thought is that something as serious as aborting a child is a very serious thing. As a human, I would have expected an element of regret.

Perhaps as the father of an incredibly loved baby, I see things slightly different to someone who doesn't want children at all....