MSE Parents Club Part 13

Sarah_Joanne

SugarSpun wrote: »

3, I don't know if you've seen but I included you in the FB message thread I sent to my lawyer friends. There's a very brief reply and more to follow.

Husband and Molly have gone out to give me some relaxing time. I have used it to do dishes, clean the kitchen counter, sort a bunch of stuff and do all my banking. Am I a real mummy now or just a mug?

Edit: SJ I am now shoe shopping for you too

Oh oh oh! I absolutely HAVE to have those!!!!!!!!

I'm still catching up but thank you so much for that :A

Glamazon

MFD - You've not got THAT much to lose.

We are having chinese tonight You have to have a treat every now and then

I too, liked the babycentre emails, in fact I still get them btu don't have so much time to read them.

The boy is down and the plan is to watch the film we didn't watch last night.


Right, I think my maths is right so will get OH to have a look around the nursery this week and see if they will take one weeks fee as a deposit rather than a whole month! They should do as they are new and only have 4 in the room (with 2 signed up today) plus Jack so 7 in a room for 20.
My list of pros for the new one far outweigh the other.

Just one thing, do people think nursery nearer work or home is better?

Nearer work I could get there quicker if need be BUT would then have to do a 20min car journey with potentially ill child PLUS if I was ill then it would be a trek to drive him there whereas nearer home would mean 5 minute car journey.

My_Fathers_Daughter

Near to home is better if OH has to pick him up Glam


TBH, for the amount difference that you are talking a month I would just go with the place that you are happiest with.


Completely unrelated to you but I had a call from our local council yesterday asking if they could ask some questions about childcare. I said no problem (I have done telemarketing and it is the most thankless task in the world) but the questions were TERRIBLE!!

How would you rate the standard of your childcare from excellent to terrible - as if any mother would admit to putting their child into anything other than excellent childcare!! Then, after establishing that I was in full time work she asked me if I was on any benefits, I said no and then she went through them...Income Support 'NO', Jobseekers Allowance 'NO', Housing Benefit 'NO' etc etc etc

No wonder people hate answering these things.

Glamazon

Good point MFD!

Especially as I am hoping to do an hour or two a week volunteering.

SusanC_2

CAFCGirl wrote: »

Susan - thanks for that...

Sami - i dont like the ingredients, i dont like that you're not given unbiased/neutral information and therefore "offered" the injections, its just expected. HV treated me like an idiot when i said L wouldnt be having them, spoke at me like i was a child....i also dont believe the "science" behind it.....
i worked in a welness practice before we moved and so had a "healthy minded" environment around me but now i feel out of the support network and i dont want to crumble due to pressue from gp/hv/my mum etc

We've never had any hassle over the vaccinations other than being sent an automated letter saying that there was an outbreak of measles in our area so we were putting Alice at risk (even though she did actually have a single Measles vaccination). I don't know whether it helped that we've rarely seen the HV, she did have the other vaccinations and it's fairly common for people to not have the MMR albeit for a different reason.

We saw the GP to enquire about alternatives to the triple vaccine (because you can get measles and mumps without cells from aborted babies being used in the uk but he wasn't willing to be involved in alternatives so we found a private provider) and he said we might want to consider letting her have it even if we wouldn't want it for ourselves. He'd clearly completely missed the point of why we wouldn't want it but he wasn't pushy or anything - he was very laid back about it all.

The HV we had at the time the first MMR was due I haven't seen since Alice was eleven weeks and the current one (who was really funny about me not wanting a home visit for moving house) didn't pass any comment about it when we discussed it because apparently moving two miles means you need to sign a new consent form to get vaccinations even though you are in the same PCT. (Although having failed to get me to agree to a home visit maybe she realised arguing with me about it would be futile.)

My mum doesn't know what vaccines Alice has or hasn't had. In general she is pro-vaccine although one of my brothers was selectively vaccinated (because of a brain injury sustained during birth) but it's never come up in conversation and I've not felt the need to tell her. I think she's too bothered about us home-educating to be bothered about vaccinations now anyway.

If you do feel that you are going to come under pressure, perhaps you could write up a little summary of some of the reasons why you don't want to vaccinate along with two or three references so that if people are really arguing with you, you can give them that rather than have to have a big verbal debate. (When we took Alice for her 9 month check I took printouts of the wiki deifinitions of EC and BLW just in case they asked questions which meant I had to tell them about those. I didn't actually need them in the end as they didn't come up but it helped me feel more confident about the prospect of them coming up.)

Also if I'm discussing an unusual choice we've made, I usually say, "We've decided that..." or, "We're planning/intending to..." because then it makes it clear that OH has been involved in the decision and hopefully communicates that it's not a decision which one of us is going to reverse without discussion with the other IYSWIM. I don't know whether it makes any difference to whoever I'm talking to but it helps me to feel more confident because I'm indicating that OH would back me up on it.

CAFCGirl

Evansangel wrote: »

CAFC, what did your HV say when you refused them?

When I first of all said he wouldnt be having them, she kinda sat there in stunned silence and then said why?

So I explained that I didnt "believe" in them and didnt want L's natural and existing immune system mucked about with, and that the way in which immunisations are administered doesnt mimic the way in which we contract disease anyway so they'd actually lessen his natural immune system function by bypassing the existing defences the body has (such as mucuous membranes, skin etc)

She then said I'd obviously been given some very misleading information on how immunisations work and how they are administered...

To which I said but they are injected into the blood stream arent they?
She said yes
So I said well then, it stands to reason then doesnt it, as we catch very few diseases straight into our blood stream...so you're not letting your nose and skin do their job, and this has been proven to increase the likelihood of things like asthama....

So then said "I really dont know where you've got this information from"

So I said Biology 101....

It was then "suggested" (oh so politely yet sarcastically) that I may want to widen my research to the NHS website (yes because there is never any spin on there!)

And that I was increasing Landen's likelihood of catching all sorts of nasties, so she read off all the things he'd be "immunised" against..... and I said Hmmm thats weird because in the Pulse magazine (doctors journal) the latest research showed that there was lower infant mortality/recorded cases of such diseases in areas where immunisation uptakes were lowest....

She gave me a very pitiful look and said that our gp would want to discuss this with me, and it was highly likely that L wouldnt be able to attend a child minders/nursery/baby and toddler groups if he wasnt immunised so not only was I affecting his "future health" but also his "future social development"....felt like I was being struck off, black mark against my name, and a little mental file being kept on me now...

I then asked if she had the ingredients list to hand for what was in each injection...
She said No
I said can you name some of them for me....

And alas........... no, she said that wasnt part of her job, and that if I wanted to know, as "you seem so interested" I should research it through the "proper and appropriate" channels...

Honest to God, I love her visits :rotfl:

Cant wait for tuesdays:T

SusanC_2

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Thanks for the weight loss compliments guys. I am low-carbing. Still a long way to go though

I'm just amazed that you can lose so much so quickly - if one pound weight loss is equivalent to a defecit of 3500 calories I would have to eat nothing for a month to lose that amount of weight and you've been doing it for less than a month and have been eating.

My_Fathers_Daughter

I am listing out things to ebay. I am not a big ebayer but I reckon I need to get myself sorted and get some money flowing this way for a change!

DSS has had something else to test from BizzieBaby. It is a summer bumper edition of a magazine worth £3.50 so not worth my renewal fee yet but DSS has thoroughly enjoyed the magazine and is currently crafting some A-Team models which were in there. There was a free book in there too - Magazine is called Toxic if anyone has similar age lads (Mel, Tara...anyone else?)


We were talking about step families yesterday and I have been observing my little family today. I don't think Benjamin is even slightly confused by our circumstances. He knows that his big brother comes at the weekend and he knows on a Saturday morning when his daddy leaves he comes home with his hero They love each other to bits and it works really well.

When Benjamin went to bed this evening he went up to DSS and held his arms and mouth open for a kiss and a cuddle and then waved and said 'wuv ooo daydee' :A:A The pair of them are gorgeous and I am very lucky!

kindofagilr

CAFCGirl wrote: »

Susan - thanks for that...

Sami - i dont like the ingredients, i dont like that you're not given unbiased/neutral information and therefore "offered" the injections, its just expected. HV treated me like an idiot when i said L wouldnt be having them, spoke at me like i was a child....i also dont believe the "science" behind it.....
i worked in a welness practice before we moved and so had a "healthy minded" environment around me but now i feel out of the support network and i dont want to crumble due to pressue from gp/hv/my mum etc

I think for me personally, although I didnt like E getting his injections, I would rather he had them now than contracted one of the things they are meant to prevent, I just know I had them, and I am ok, so thought it was best E did (not sayin that what you are doing isnt best if that makes sense)

SS I wasnt aware you could get the MMR seprate, what age are they due that one?

Well E had a epic nap after his tea lol, he had his tea at 5pm, then slept from 5.30pm till 7.40pm, he's just had 9oz of milk and was in bed asleep by 8.15pm, lets see if he repeats the last two nights and only wakes at midnight for a feed (although if he does I doubt he will sleep till 7am like he has cos of his epic nap lol)

CAFCGirl

oh and my DH is more anti vaccine than I am....

we both attended a seminar on them when we lived in Kent and I think its scarred him for like knowing all that information....

Thanks for your post, good idea about having a summary of it all, and back up. I do tend to fire certain questions back at people.
For example if they ask me if im not worried that im putting my childs health at risk.... I ask if they are aware of the lasting implications of vaccines/immunisations on the body....

It seems that you have to defend not having them, but dont have to defend having them...

Hopefully noone takes my posts the wrong way, I wouldnt try to convince anyone against the choices theyve made, so Im not trying to preach my way or the high way, was just curious about people's experiences when theyve refused them...