Asked to go to a wedding in.......

Make-it-3

Unless you are part of the jet-set (and hardly likely to hanging out here on MSE!) if you choose to get married abroad you are consciously trying to keep it a small affair. Guests then fall into two categories those you really want there and are prepared to pay their travel costs so they can be in attendance and those who it would be nice to have along, and you completely understand if they can't afford/or don't want to attend.

And yes, it does also get you off the hook with some people who you feel obliged to invite but know that thankfully they won't be able to come due to the costs.

The further afield you travel and the more expensive the trip the more of a statement you are making about the wedding you want.

OH and I - went halfway round the world, to an unusual location and it was just the two of us - absolutely perfectly what we wanted.

Any

I had wedding abroad and I didn't expect all my friends to come. To be honest I expected only very few to come, but got complete shock when over 100 came!! (my weddding was in Prague).
The wedding date was set well in advance and noone paid more then £70 for flight and you can find accomodation for less then £50 a night. My friends said it would cost them the same if I decided to have it in Lake District and that is why nearly everyone came.

I wanted a wedding outside, with weather near to guaranteed and which wouldn't cost me £25k.

I really don't get this "cost to guests should be kept to minimum".. - 1 answer to that - don't come and it will cost you nothing.

Don't take me wrong, it shouldn't cost them thousands in no way, but inviting relatives costs groom & bride such a ridiculous amount of money that I think it should be them we should feel sorry for!! It is their day and it's up to them to do it in a way of their dreams.

Any

ixwood wrote: »

Yes, I'd say it's selfish IMHO. YOU would rather spend money on a 2 week holiday for the family instead of just one day and a party and expect others to pay thousands to attend.

That's basically expecting others to subsidise your dream wedding.

That is the most ridiculous statement I have ever read.

So a person is selfish because they don't want such a lovely people like you at THEIR special day - which for many of us is ONCE IN A LIFETIME.

And how YOU are subsidising the wedding?? OMG!! :rotfl::rotfl:

I think people who say such a rubbish are just beggruging that they didn't get their free dinner...

Hermia

euronorris wrote: »

But it's OK for all the guests to expect to have their dinner and drinks (along with everyone else's) paid for, on top of all of the other expenses a couple faces when getting married?

That's why my friend got married abroad. She was going to get married in the UK, but kept getting phone calls from relatives she barely knew wanting to come and expecting all food and drink to be provided. She was then getting relatives she had invited wanting to bring their new partners and the new partner's children etc etc. The catering company she was looking at (which was one of the cheapest she could find) was going to charge per head so it was ending up that the food cost was going to exceed the budget for the entire wedding! I thought her family's attitude was disgusting as her and her hubby are in their early 20s and are both in low-paid caring professions. In the end she ended up getting married abroad with just the parents there.

euronorris

Hermia wrote: »

That's why my friend got married abroad. She was going to get married in the UK, but kept getting phone calls from relatives she barely knew wanting to come and expecting all food and drink to be provided. She was then getting relatives she had invited wanting to bring their new partners and the new partner's children etc etc. The catering company she was looking at (which was one of the cheapest she could find) was going to charge per head so it was ending up that the food cost was going to exceed the budget for the entire wedding! I thought her family's attitude was disgusting as her and her hubby are in their early 20s and are both in low-paid caring professions. In the end she ended up getting married abroad with just the parents there.

I witnessed all the hassle/drama my sister and her hubby had when inviting people to their wedding.

It honestly did not matter what approach they took, someone always took offence or demanded that so and so should also come. Even my Dad put pressure on them to invite relatives we've only ever seen about 15-20 times in our lives! It was so stressful for her and ended up causing arguments between her and hubby. Thankfully, they sorted it all out! lol

But, it made me realise I don't want that. I've already told my parents that WE (OH and I) will be choosing the guest list and that we may consider someone they suggest, but if we don't want them there, for whatever reason, our decision is final. My Dad laughed at that as he knows I'm quite a stong willed person so I think he was kinda expecting it anyway.

I'd also much prefer a much smaller wedding than my sister. Don't get me wrong, it was wondeful and gorgeous etc, but it was also sooooo expensive (I've seen the full cost) and was very stressful to organise. I don't think it should be like that, so we'll be restricting the guest list to immediate family and close friends only (and that's still a fair number to be honest)!

Anyway, I digress, he needs to ask me first! Hasn't stopped us from having the 'When we get Married, we'll do it like this' etc etc.:rotfl::rotfl: The thought of all that organisation and stress terrifies us!

sunshinetours

The day is for the Bride and Groom - end of. If they choose to get married abroad then so be it

If you are lucky enough to be invited either go or don't - unless you are best man/chief b/maid etc I doubt if it will ruin their time if you are not there

Some would see it as an opportunity to go and have a great holiday themselves (finances permitiing of course). After all the wedding is only one day out of the week you may be there

We were lucky to be invited to some close friends wedding day in Cyprus the otehr year and we had a great few days out there as one of only 20 guests or so. We weren't expected to go but it was lovely to be able to and to have a few days in the sun.

fay144

I don't know why people get annoyed at other peoples weddings... It's an invitation not a summons. If you don't fancy it then just don't go.

It is as unfair to expect someone to spend a lot of money on a traditional wedding that they wouldn't enjoy, as it is to *expect* someone to spend time or money attending. I would have rather burned £5K than spent it on a "traditional" wedding that I would have dreaded beyond belief, to be honest.

IMO it's totally fair enough for a bride and groom to plan the day that they want, since they are paying for it, and then open it up to see who wants to attend...

(Though, saying that, I don't understand the trend for weddings abroad, isn't that basically just inviting your parents on your honeymoon?)

euronorris

fay144 wrote: »

(Though, saying that, I don't understand the trend for weddings abroad, isn't that basically just inviting your parents on your honeymoon?)

I think it depends. Some people are in love with a hot, sunny wedding. Some are in love with the country and others, like me, now live in a different country.

I have no idea whether we will decide on here, or the UK. I was edging towards UK as I wouldn't want my family or his family to not be able to attend. But, my family have already said they'd come here. His family will be a different story though as we'd most likely have to pay for his brother.

But then, even we settled on the UK, we'd still have to decide on where exactly as we come from opposite ends of the country! lol. So, like it or lump it, some of our guests will have to travel one way or the other.

angel223_2

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Liz3yy

Weddings dont have to be a nightmare.

My close friend got married earlier this month, for the hen do a month earlier 10 of us had a day out in London. We ate lots, drank, laughed, and had a generally great time. It was also cheap.

For the wedding, my friend invited 25 people to the ceremony including me and my partner. The same number for lunch. The evening party had around 70 people with a cold buffet and paying bar.

It was fantastic and so relaxed, my friend chose who she wanted there and no-one was offended if they didn't get to attend the whole day.