Asked to go to a wedding in.......

angel223_2

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Fang_3

Person_one wrote: »

Then you'll know its not a competition

Everything's a competition to me.:beer:

donquine

I went to a close friend's wedding this year at the other end of the UK from me and that was quite an expensive endeavour, involving a couple of days off work at a time of year when I had a lot going on.

I don't think I like anyone enough to travel abroad for their wedding!

That said, if you were getting married, it would be a good way to 'get rid' of the people who would expect an invite but who you wouldn't want there. My best friend would want to come (it would be too expensive for her, but we would help) and OH's best friend would want to come (he would be able to afford it himself).

That sounds quite nice - wedding abroad with two witnesses, no one else! Plus invites for everyone - no fear of them saying 'yes' and actually turning up. Sounds a bit horrible, but I absolutely can't stand big weddings and that would be an easy way around it.

ixwood

angel223 wrote: »

well im a bride due to be married a good few hours flight away in a few months. we gave friends and family 2 years notice and invited those we knew would not come simply as they would have moaned if they didnt get an invite.....sometimes you just cant do it any right way.
Are we selfish that we would rather spend money on a 2 week holiday for the family instead of just one day and a party having to invite and pay for many members of the family we havent seen in years (not even when kids were born). By taking my girls with us I hope to tech them about the completly different culture over there.....Its a once in a life time thing for us (hopefully not but likely not to happen for a number of years if ever again) and we grabbed it with both hands. I dont really care if people think were selfish its what we want, a relaxed holiday wedding. mil to be is throwing us a BBQ party before we go

Yes, I'd say it's selfish IMHO. YOU would rather spend money on a 2 week holiday for the family instead of just one day and a party and expect others to pay thousands to attend.

That's basically expecting others to subsidise your dream wedding.

angel223_2

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Hermia

Fitzio wrote: »

I think that generally, people who get married abroad and invite others, don't expect that everyone will go.

That has been my experience. I know quite a few people who have married abroad and were well aware that not everyone would be able to come.

I think marrying abroad is a great idea if you have a nightmare family (as many people do!). My aunt married abroad as every one of our family weddings ends up with fights and tantrums and hissy fits. Plus it can be cheaper. My aunt got a fantastic package deal and had a beautiful wedding and it cost so much less than the UK equivalent would have done. Plus she was guaranteed lovely weather for the photos!

MissGolightly

it's not like you're paying it just to watch her wedding, surely you'd also actually be on holiday in cancun...

we're getting married in cyprus, the only people i "expect" to come are mine and his immediate family, who i know will, as they'll treat it like their annual holiday, and our wedding is just one day in that fortnight. our wedding day is about us, being somewhere beautiful and creating a lasting memory.

tbh i begrudge most of my family the whole traditional sit-down dinner thing, as i have 18 sets of aunts and uncles and over 60 cousins none of whom i see more than 3 times a year.

i will be sending invites that say about the wedding being in cyprus, and giving the contact for if they want to book to come, and if they can't make it, we will be recording the whole thing, and having a party when we come back (just a hot buffet, a lot more reasonable)

it is their wedding, and they are entitled to have it however they wish, but if you have said no already, they should respect that you cannot afford it, and give over!

euronorris

jonty1970 wrote: »

:rotfl:

I have never been rude
I am having a moan on here, to strangers, not to her face or to people who know her, behind her back. Oh, that's lovely! it will never gt back to her to upset her.
this is a safe way to let off a bit of steam about something.

I wish her well, i just think she needs to realise, most people can't afford to spend " a few thousand" to watch someone get married

It's not like it's my child!!!!

I don't see the problem. People should be able to get married where ever they want.

Just because they invited you doesn't mean that they expect you to go. I am sure they are more than aware of the costs involved but perhaps didn't want to insult you by just assuming you couldn't afford it. They can't really win, can they?

Getting married abroad isn't always about showing off. Some people have just always dreamed of walking along the beach, instead of down the aisle for their wedding day. Others just fell in love with the country.

You're making a lot of very unfair assumptions, and if you don't want to/can't afford it, you just say no. If, they then start to get narky with you about it, you would have a right to moan, but at the moment you're moaning over nothing!

euronorris

ixwood wrote: »

Yes, I'd say it's selfish IMHO. YOU would rather spend money on a 2 week holiday for the family instead of just one day and a party and expect others to pay thousands to attend.

That's basically expecting others to subsidise your dream wedding.

But it's OK for all the guests to expect to have their dinner and drinks (along with everyone else's) paid for, on top of all of the other expenses a couple faces when getting married?

She has already stated that she doesn't expect anyone to go. If they can make it, and they want to, then great. If not, no problem. Christ, it's not like the invites are sent out with 'Attendance is compulsory' stamped all over them!

And for those who do attend, please explain how their attendance would, in any way, subsidise the wedding??

SugarSpun

We're going to my BIL's wedding in Bermuda next month. It's also our annual holiday, I managed to get very good prices on the flights and the hotel has a special wedding rate well below the standard cost. I do begrudge it a bit, but it's close family, it's important to him/them and he travelled to our wedding (the joys of family on different continents).